"I will only charge because he promised to reduce the problem today," I added.
"Just take a taxi because Cong needs me." Then he pulled out a thousand and handed it to me. "Your fare and let's just meet at home later." When he reached for the money, he quickly started the motor. He don't look at me and left quickly. I was just blown away by the wind and then shaken by annoyance.
Even though my blood pressure went up there was nothing I could do. The madman left me because he was in a hurry to leave.
I first turned inside the house and saw Janel standing in the doorway looking at me. I call her and immediately she approached me.
"Why?" she asked as he got closer.
“Oh! Add that to your allowance.” I handed her the money that Dylan had given me. I saw that she was a little hesitant to take the money from me. "Don't overreact because we can't live in pure drama." I took her hand and then put the money. I no longer waited for her to speak and I walked to leave her.
I knew she was hesitant to accept the money. But I also know that she needs it in addition to her expenses.
I'm going straight to Lax's house. I just ride a public vehicle. When I got down to their alley, I just walked calmly and then took a cigarette from my pocket and then lit it while walking. I also don’t know when I started smoking. As far as I can remember from the moment I saw Dylan smoking I tried as well. At first, it was just to be trendy but later I realized it was also calming.
Apart from that, it is also delicious to smoke while meditating. As I look at the smoke being blown by the wind I accompany it mentally.
I caught up with Lax at his house while feeding his son. Before I enter I threw the cigarette outside before knocking to let him know that I am there.
"Oh Mia, you're already there, come in." I smiled at him then went inside and sat on the sofa.
He stood on the way to the altar and took something that was abducted under the saint. When he returned, he handed me the rolled-up money.
“That includes those of the past and present. I also let Dylan down and he said he will bring it tomorrow because he is going to Cong.” I just nodded and then grabbed a package worth three hundred.
"What is this?" he asked as he looked at the item.
"Free to that and spend money to somehow help your child." He smiled at me and then tapped me on the shoulder. Lax had two children. One of her children has hydrocephalus and his wife even left him because she went with another man abroad. He is the only one supporting his two children, one of whom is in elementary school.
"Thanks!" He thanked me that I just nodded and then tapped him. Like me, Lax and the rest of our troops had a reason why we had to do this. It is bad in the eyes of society but we need it for our empty stomachs.
"I'll go first," I said goodbye to him then approached his son and held his head before I left the house.
"Take care."
It has also been over a year since I entered the sale of illegal drugs. From the moment papa had an accident and the heart attack followed, our lives became a mess. He became paralyzed, lost his job, and ran out of savings because of his treatment. But somehow I was still happy because even though he became paralyzed he was still there with us.
Even unable to speak but we can see him. Living and breathing are even cared for. We also don’t consider him a burden because we know he didn’t like what happened to him. It wasn’t his fault it happened and even he didn’t want what happened to him.
Mama's bubble tea shop makes money but it's still not enough for papa's treatment, paying bills, covering daily expenses, and sometimes in emergencies whenever papa had his attack. Janel’s study added that I knew she didn’t want to stop because that was her dream.
If I hadn't just witnessed the suffering and sacrifice papa spent for us I probably would have left them a long time ago. Especially since mama's blood is always boiled to me. But, because at the time when papa was still strong, his time was spent working for us. He wholeheartedly fulfilled his obligation as the head of the family.
This is the only way I know to earn big and crawl my family. It's just that I know it's easy to earn. Even though it was dangerous and nervous, I had to go to help somehow, especially with my sister's studies.
I may be recovering in the wrong way, by selling illegal drugs that destroy my mind and future.
But they are the ones who want to ruin their lives. They are the ones who come to us on their own and even when we are asleep, they are making a fuss just to buy from us. So it is their fault what the outcome of their actions will be. They are obligated to themselves and we are not. We may have been a tool to be with them but they still have to take care of themselves.
Instead of giving their money to others, it would be better for me to help my family. It's unfair to listen to parents that we are ruining the lives of their children. But in real life is really unfair. If in the movies someone sacrifices to improve the life of a hero. In reality, I am sacrificing the future of others for the good of my family.
Like Lax, Diks, and Sha, they ruin the lives of their customers to feed their families. Also, it is no longer our fault, it is the fault of the customers on how they control and carry themselves.
I don’t use so it’s just unavoidable that sometimes I get blown out of smoke especially when Dylan goes crazy and he actually intentionally blows me out. Sometimes I hold it right in my hand and I forget to wash my hand.
I also forgot writing, because I became practical about finding money. Poor income from writing and selling merch. So I preferred a big income. I have also deleted my social media because many nasty readers are simply sending me messages.
Dylan introduced me to this kind of earning. He is my boyfriend and even if the kind of relationship we have is not good for others I don't care. Even though he heard a lot from the people in our barangay, he did not leave me. Sometimes his hand was light, but he also taught me how to fight.
He taught me that you need to be strong. You have to be brave. It is okay to have a soft heart but it is a sin to be weak. I saw how Dylan could be kind to others, but I also saw how he fought the abusers.
He has not only become a boyfriend, but become a brother, best friend, mentor, lean, and everything that when I need someone is already in him. He always reminds me that you have to live in reality and not pure fantasy.
He taught me to be tough because he justified in this kind of work drama is not trendy.
Because when you depend on emotion, you will lose.
When you are weak you lose even more.