Dylan picked me up yesterday at Lax's house and here we are at his house. This is also where I slept and now I just woke up.
“You ate and I cooked already. I'll take the motor and I'll go somewhere. Shall I drop you?” he asked while getting dressed.
"No, I'll just take a taxi so you won't be bothered too much."
"Ok," When he finished dress-up he approached me to kiss me on the lips. "I'll go first and you just lock it." I nodded at him and raised an eyebrow.
"Be careful," I warned.
"You also." Then he came out.
I was lying on the bed while looking at the ceiling when suddenly my cellphone rang. I dug it on the small table to see who was texting.
Janel: ‘Mia, do you have any money? The exam is coming up.'
Reply: ‘Wait for me and I’ll go home.’
I put the cell phone in my pocket and headed to the table. I can't leave without eating and maybe that ass will get angry because I didn't eat his food.
After eating, I just put away a little clutter then picked up the small bag, and then left.
I wish I could ride a motor fast. But Dylan will get angry when he finds out I ride with someone because he doesn't want me to ride another motorbike when he's not the driver. So I decided to take a taxi to get home immediately.
When I got home I found Jr. there talking to mama and Janel. I ignored them and just called Janel.
"Oh!" I reached for her tuition money when she approached me.
"Don't accept that, Janel." Mama objected and then approached us.
TSS, as always, but in the end, she cannot do anything.
"Don't accept the money you don't know where it comes from."
“Then don't. Why am I the only one who can't go to school? Don't accept if you don't want to,” I said then turned away.
"But, Ma this is for my studying. I need this for my tuition. I don't want to stop studying." I secretly smiled at what Janel said so I went upstairs. But I was just on the stairs when I heard mama speak again so I stopped.
“You think I don't know where your money comes from? We're just blindfolded but we know it's from you selling drugs!” My ears tingled so I faced mama and then went down again when Janel blocked me.
"Oh! what now? You're going to put me in jail?" I asked annoyed.
"Mia, don't answer like that to your mother." I looked at Jr.
"The hell do you care, and who are you here?" He didn't answer so I turned my gaze to mama.
"It's not a loss to me if you don't accept the money that I will give." I turned to Janel. "Just try to stop studying and I'll leave you all here."
“Why are you doing this? Why are you ruining your life?” Mama asked while crying.
“I'm not ruining my life, I'm just helping you to somehow alleviate your suffering. But you can't see that because you think everything I do is burdensome.”
"That's not true, Mia," Mom said.
"What 'that's not true? No matter what I do, you still think of me as a burden.”
"Mia, even if you can't give us money, you've never been a burden, I don't want you to make a lot of money if you're putting yourself in harm's way."
“You're always thinking negatively against me, you just didn't thank me for helping. No matter what I do, you don't appreciate it.”
"Mia, don't answer, let mama talk," Janel whispered to me.
“Why? what I'm saying is true. Even if I follow them or even if I follow what I want I am still bad. Because I have never been good in the eyes of all of you.”
"That's not true."
"That's it," I repeat what he said. “What is not true? Even when Papa wasn't injured, that's how mama really thinks of me. Weight and perseverance, selfish because I followed what I wanted in writing and did not study as he wanted. That's why Mama's blood is so hot. She doesn't want to see me in peace. She loves seeing me doing here and there.”
“I just want you to be responsible. Between the two of you are the ones who don't follow me, you are the one I see that don't care what happens.”
“Oh I am responsible now, I can stand on my own without your help. But still lacking, I'm still bad, right? Because you're so hot to me that I don't know why. Even farting and moaning become a big deal to you when I do it. That's how much you hate me. I thought, you just give me life so that you can heap your anger on the world in me. For when you want to get angry, you just look at me and your blood will heat up.” I say sarcastically.
"Mia, you're overdoing it." Jr. scolded me.
“Why are you keep on interfering? Isn't it a family fight? You are not a family member so get out of here.”
"You're hurting your mom too much." He said in a high voice.
“And the word hurt really came from you. You know----you and my mother are the same, your wrongdoing you pass it on to me.”
"Your mom is just concerned about you," He calmed down a bit.
"I don't need your opinion."
He didn't reply to what I said so I faced mama and Janel again.
"What now, are we done with drama here?"
"Are you doing drugs too?" I smiled bitterly at mama's question.
"Is that how you think of me?"
"Because you weren't like that before."
“I just learned to answer and let out my thought. I am now a drug user? Because that's how superficial you think of me.”
"You're different." Mama kept crying so I just shook my head.
I was about to answer when suddenly something broke in the dining area. At once we turned around there and I saw dad crying as he sat in his wheelchair.
“I… .am… so… .rry… ..Mia… .,” He said crying as the cold and tears mixed, his face frowning due to the paralysis of half his body.
I didn't answer, I just turned around because her crying got louder.
I messed up my own hair then went upstairs and quickly entered the room. I also heard mama and Janel crying with Papa. I don't intend to hurt their feelings but they always misunderstand what I want to say.
I was about to close the door when suddenly someone stopped me.
"Can we talk?"
“Don't be interfere with me. I'm not ready to face you yet. Please don't add to what I'm carrying now.”
"Mia."
"Please."
"Okay, but I want you to know that I'm only here if you need someone."
He left the door so I closed it immediately.
Now?
Why only now? Where are then when I needed sympathy. Why now when I don't need you anymore and you can only add the pain I feel.