Sozin got up, "It was twue. Donny had anxiety this whole past week!" Sozin said laughing, "You should've seen him Lil. He reminded me of Edward when he thought Bella died.."
"Shut up, Sozin!" Donny shouted as his cheeks become flushed.
Awww, I missed them. I laughed and shook my head. Ozai came and gave me a hug, Donny came and did the same.
Sozin came and gave me a hug too. Except he gave me big sloppy kiss on the cheek an then he whispers, "Hip hop, dipiddy dop, flying around the pot, I have a big cock." And then he falls to the floor and passes out again. Oh Sozin, he so entertaining to listen to sometimes.
Donny rolls his eyes and steps over Sozin, "Friggin Alcoholic," He looks up at me seriously and scratches the back of his neck, "I know that you might not want to...but you should try to talk to Zeus. He's in pretty bad shape. All he's doing is planning and then sleep and then drinking."
I sighed and silently nodded my head, "I know. I don't know what to say. I mean, he's my mate...I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be with him like that."
Donny sat down in front of me, "I understand where you're coming from, Lily. But you've seen us at our most raw point. We're not perfect and we will never be perfect even after we break the curse. And to be honest...you're not perfect either."
My eyes snapped up to Donny. Ozai steps in, "Donny-"
But Donny shakes his head, "No, I'm not saying this out of spite. I'm saying this because we all love you, Lily. You're not perfect. You're just like us."
I frowned and tilted my head, "What're you mean?"
"You might not have the same issues we have. But you have issues nonetheless. You judged us before you knew us. You never gave us a real chance to prove you wrong because you were so stubborn. You had too much pride to even think that someone that had a different opinion than you could be right."
I gulped and looked down at my hands, twiddling with them as Donny continued on.
"You would purposely disobeyed us which led to one of us either saving you or fixing the mistakes you made. You called us monsters. You called Zeus a monster. He has done monster-like things. But when it comes down to the reason behind...it's because he's afraid, he's afraid of losing you, Lily and so he tries to prevent that in the only he knows how...in his hellhound-ish ways."
I felt my heart beat as I soak in the words that Donny said were true. I didn't want them to be true because it made me sound like such a bad person. I felt my chest burn with guilt.
Donny sighs and takes my hand in his, "We are all not perfect, Lil."
I gulped and nodded my head, "I guess, when I used to be blind, I was so helpless . I couldn't do anything by myself properly. Everyone would be walking on eggshells around me. Helping me with everything and in their eyes, I never did anything wrong and I got used to it. I never really got to have enough freedom to make mistakes and learn and grow. And I think that caused me to be entitled and arrogant."
I felt tears well up in my eyes, "I'm sorry for being so for making you guys not feel good enough."
Ozai sits on my other side and pulled me into a hug, "We're not trying to make you feel bad, Lily. We're just trying to make you see reality, but not out of a place of bitterness. We love you, and we just don't you to screw up your own life."
I sniffed and wiped my eyes, "I guess the truth can be hard to swallow sometimes," I lean back and smile, "But thank you for telling me. I needed it. No one's ever talked to me so bluntly and honestly before...I kinda liked it though. I feel a little bit more free from...I guess myself."
Donny smiles and gives me a cheeky wing, "A freedom comes with accepting that you're not perfect."
"FREEDOM!" Sozin yells with his hands above his head in victory, "Had anyone seen Braveheart? do you remember the ending when he screams that? This moment reminds me of that."
***
It was late. I had finished reading my book. I looked at the mess I made on my bed. Papers were everywhere. It seems that the location on the map really was the lake. I'll have to go check it out sometime soon.
I looked at the time. It was one in the morning. I sighed tiredly. The thought of sleep made me smile excitedly. Do you ever have those moments where your completely exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally...and you just crave sleep...yup well, that is where I am at right now.
I got up from my bed and took a shower. I let the hot water relax my body, readying myself for a deep sleep. I put on a giant t-shirt and some shorts.
I was drying my hair with the towel when I looked at myself in the mirror...I realised I was wearing Zeus's shirt.
I lifted the material to my nose and inhaled deeply, I felt my body desire to be near him. I was craving that sense of security and safety when I would sleep next to him.
To be honest, I haven't been sleeping well by myself. I think I've gotten so used sleeping next to Zeus that now it felt weird to be alone. I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel that sense of...I don't even know what it is. But whatever it is...I missed it.
I went to my bed and laid down. I pulled the blanket up higher and closed my eyes. I stayed in that position in what felt like hours.
It was weird though, I was completely exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. My body didn't feel safe enough still.
I sat up in my bed, my legs beginning to fidget. I knew what I had to do, but I didn't want to do it.
But I did it anyways because it was the right thing to do. I needed to right my wrong.
I winced when I heard the creak of his door as I tried to open it gently. I quickly walked in and shut the door behind me. I inhaled deeply and I felt my body sag.
I looked up and froze in my steps as I saw Zeus was sitting up from his bed, staring at me.
My heart clenched when I saw his state. His hair was messy, his stubble grew thicker, the bags under his eyes were very obvious. He was shirtless. I noticed a bottle of Jack Daniels on the side of the bed.
"What're you doing here, Lily." He asks. His voice was deep and raspy as if he had only just woken up from a deep sleep.
"I couldn't sleep," I replied nervously.
He was silent for a moment before he responded, "Me neither."
Zeus stood up from the bed. His giant height only seemed more taller with the tension growing in this room. The unresolved feeling was all that was running through my emotions.
I gulped, waiting for him to do something.
"I never lied to you." Zeus said bluntly, interrupting my sleeping arrangement rant.
"What?"
His green eyes glowed in the dark as he gave me a serious look, "I was never fake with you. What you see is what you get when it comes to me. I showed you who I am. I am a monster and I didn't try to hide that from you. I am not the good guy in the stories. I'm the guy that people want to see die in the movies. I'm the sick and twisted bastard. But you already knew that."
He was talking about the last day I talked to him.
Zeus looks to his left at the balcony. I could see in the moonlight...his eyes were glistening slightly, "I initially didn't want you see me like that...It's not a very nice picture to have in your mind. But you have and there's no going back. You've heard of what I've done and you have finally seen it."
Zeus looks back at me and his jaw was tensed and his nostrils were flaring as he was breathing quickly. "I loath myself, Lily. This curse won't end. I will have to deal with everything that I've done myself. They're faces will haunt me, their souls will linger and torment me."
I took careful steps to Zeus, making sure our eyes were always looking at each other. I stopped right in front of him and Zeus observes my every action carefully, analysing everything. I raise my hand and cups Zeus's face, "Then don't deal with it alone."
He looks down at me and frowns in confusion. I stroked his cheek with my thumb, "I understand Zeus. I understand you and your struggles with this curse...what it's turned you into. And I'm not saying that what you did was right, it wasn't. It was completely wrong. What you do is not good. It was hard for me to see it. I've been blind for years and now I can suddenly see, but I suddenly see these horrible things,"
I could visibly see Zeus tense at my words, "I know my chances are slim, " He said, "I know I'm sick in the head. My head fills up with voices..."
Zeus's face becomes hard and his eyes shined with one of a lost soul, "Voices I recognise but don't know who they are. Violence always made them quiet, but it's like getting high, sooner or later...they would come back and you need another hit,"
I decided to sit down on the bed and he kneels down on his knees. His eyes pour into mine as I saw them break down the walls to only find a broken man, "When you came along...you made them quiet. You made me feel peace in my head and heart. I can't say that I won't screw up. I'm not going to lie to you, Lily. I'm going to mess up sooner or later. I'm going to do things that you might not like. But if you let me in, I could make you happy. Could I ever be enough for you?"
And that was what made me melt into a puddle. I smiled slightly when I said, "You're not perfect," I stroke his cheek, "But neither am I." Zeus's eyes tense, " I'm not perfect at all. I'm quick to judge. I can be entitled, arrogant and stubborn. I've made you and the others run around this damn castle after me, making sure I'm not making stupid decisions. And even when I do, you're still there to save me and make sure I'm okay even though it was my own fault,"
My hands run down his bare chest and over his heart, "Your heart is good, Zeus. You carry people because you love them. You carry Sozin, Ozai, Donny, you carry me. Just because you've done bad things doesn't mean that your heart is bad."
Tears well up in my eyes as I felt the weight of how stupid I've been, "And I'm sorry Zeus," He looked shocked by my confession, "I'm sorry for making you feel like you're never going to be good enough. But, I have seen your bad side. I have seen the darkness within you...but I also see good. You might be the all mighty Zeus of the Hellhounds. You are an unstoppable force, but we all have our own baggage Zeus, including myself, and I want you to share yours with me,"
Zeus froze at my words.
"Share the load. With all your twisted ends, your messed up ways, I accept you for who you are Zeus. If we could never break this curse...I would still be here. You are enough for me. I want you to be mine, just like how I'm already yours."
Zeus was very still as he listened to me talk. After I had finished, I don't think he knew what to say. So, I wrapped my arms around his neck and I hugged him. Zeus shuffled and stood in between my legs on his knees, he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head in the nape of my neck.
After a moment Zeus raises his head, but still leaves his arms wrapped securely around me, "It won't be easy with me."
I understood that, "I know, but it also won't be easy with me. If we get through this battle alive, I could go back to being blind for the rest of my life. It will be hard because what if one day we want pups? And I can't even see them. Or if something bad happens and I won't know what to-"
Zeus cups my face, "You're my mate, Lil. We were made for each other. And I wanted you even when you were blind. Blind or not, I'm always here. We'll figure it out together, yeah?"
I felt myself relax and I smiled, "Well that's good. At least we won't be a boring couple, right?"
Zeus chuckles, "No we won't."
I smirked, "I guess we're both pretty flawed, huh. We're definitely not perfect."
Zeus scoffs, "Perfect is overrated. I kinda prefer it this way."
Zeus leans in and presses his lips onto mine and this time I let it happen freely without over-thinking or freaking out. This was our time, our moment.
His kisses become hungry. My hands rake through his hair and pull it slightly making him growl. I wrap my legs around his waist. He stands up with me and throws me on the bed. I yelp in fright and then giggle. His broad figure climbs over me. His eyes glowing with desire. He kisses down my neck, sucking the area where my mark is. Tendrils of pleasure are carried to my core. His pelvis settle themselves between my legs.
He nips at my neck making me moan slightly. His pelvis begins to slightly rock against me. Rubbing around our pleasure filled parts together. I bring his lips back to mine and kiss him hard, he groans as I playfully bite his lower lip.
His hands travel up my shirt, feeling the skin of my waist. His hands felt like heaven on my bare skin. They we big and calloused and I loved it.
We separate breathlessly. He chuckles, "We need to stop."
I groan, "I know. As much as I feel like I want to. I need a little bit more time."
Zeus sighs, "I'm willing to wait however long. But for right now...I need a cold shower."