CHAPTER 16
MONTANA'S POV
When Alpha Lincoln had noticed someone had opened the door as I presumed, he turned towards that direction and his eyes locked with mine.
For some seconds, I stood there not being able to utter a word. I knew I could not raise my voice at him or condemn him because I had no right to.
I was not even supposed to be here, standing in front of his room door, opening it without even being invited to but here I am, almost crossing my boundaries, "I- I am s-so s-sorry Alpha", I quickly apologize and shut the door.
Outside the door, I closed my eyes and stood there for some minutes before turning and quickly returning to my room.
I do not know what I was thinking, dressing this way and coming here, that was so stupid and foolish of me. I condemned myself instead.
What did I expect? That was to be expected. Did I expect him to pull me in kiss me and make love to me even though that was all in my head? Yes.
Did I expect him to sleep with someone else on our wedding night? No. I know I prepared for the worst too but it was our wedding night. It would have been better if he went out with friends and drank.
At this point, I was not even sure if I was right to get angry, blame him, or even decide what he should have done but he slept with...
I opened my room door with quite some anger and slammed it shut making Victoria stop whatever she was doing and rush over to me, "What is wrong? What happened?."
I still could not form the right words and she hugged me, patting my back, "Breathe Montana, breathe", I hated how I felt like a weakling and well I was weak but I hated how I let things always get to me or how I behave weak.
Victoria gave me some moments to get back to myself as she helped me to my bed where we both sat, "Are you ready now? Talk to me? Why are you back so early? Did my brother do something? I will surely talk to him if he does."
"No, you will not, I do not want you to tell him that I ever have feelings for him or I started taking a liking to him. Promise me Victoria, you will never tell him that, and even if he was to find out I will tell him myself. I need you to promise me that", I told her sternly, with all seriousness on my face.
She was able to read my face as she nodded, "I promise, I won't."
"Good," I muttered.
"Now tell me what went wrong?."
"I caught him having s*x with someone else", I smiled sadly at her while fumbling with my gown.
"Oh Moon Goddess, I am so sorry..I-", Victoria sounded hurt like she understood how I felt as she hugged me once more.
"I do not know what's wrong with my brother. He should at least try to make this work or something."
"It is fine, we both agreed for it to be this way so it is not his fault, instead I'm the one going and having feelings that were never supposed to happen", I explained to her softly.
"But it is not your fault Montana, most times we can not control how we feel."
"But I can control how to not let him find out, I should not have gotten ahead of myself. He would not even want to be with a weak omega like myself. I could not even protect my kids the other day", I was starting to feel bad about myself, I was starting to feel like I was truly a joke to everyone's life and a burden.
"Montana, do not say that boy yourself, that is not true, you are not a burden and you have people who adore you", Victoria tried to assure me but at this point, I did not think any of those assuring works were going to work.
"Do I? I want to feel loved, that kind of love, but it is like I am not worth loving in that way and I do not understand why it is so hard to get one like that. Now I am just rambling shit and I do not even know what I am saying."
"Calm down", Victoria pulled away from the hug and looked at me, "You are enough, you are even more than enough, don't let this define you or your worth."
"It already has, it is not a matter of me not letting it, I do not have a choice or an option. I do not have a say", I told her truthfully how I felt, "He is the strongest Alpha in the world, with the strongest pack and I am me, Me, Victoria. It was stupid enough for me to fall for him and more stupid for me to think he would want me."
"Maybe he will want my kids, seeing how he is now fond of them but I doubt that about me and do you know what the worst part is?", I asked her as she sighed and shook her head.
"The worst part is I have no idea if I will be able to kill whatever I am feeling to not stir up any troubles. I can say I will try, maybe he might see me one day but it's fine, I deserve this anyway."
"Montana....", I know Victoria was worried and I did not want her to get any more worried.
"It is fine, I'm fine", I looked at her and smiled, "I would like to be alone, might sleep too and I know you need to have your rest", I pulled her cheeks playfully.
"Are you sure?", she confirmed.
I nodded, "I am very sure", I knew she did not believe me but I was glad when she decided to give me the space I needed and left not before squishing me in a tight hug and letting me know that I was not alone.
Just a few minutes after she left, a knock came and I went to open the door.
Only for me to find Lincoln standing there.