You are the reason - Calum Scott
One Year Later
Dario
- Aren't you going to tell? No problem! Today is a great day to start using my new toys. Caetano, bring the bat.
A year has passed since my bloody wedding day, Nina has proved to be an exemplary wife but she is not who I wanted by my side, she is just a means to an end as in the beginning.
Since she is protected by the contract I went back to killing whores after sex, whenever I was with them I saw my beautiful toy but it wasn't her, so I killed the damned ones out of hate that they weren't my Cecilia.
I wanted to go to that damn brothel, get my toy out of there and take it back to the mansion where it belongs but reason never allowed, I knew that after a year, she would not be the same, I am sure that after being used by many and being abandoned by me her love must have now become hate, even so something inside me screams for her, calls her name and clamors to feel her body once again but I can not do this.
Nina is expecting my child, her pregnancy is already advanced I imagine that soon she will gain my firstborn, she seems happy but once I heard a conversation of the employees saying that the woman lived in the corners of the huge apartment I bought after the wedding crying and lamenting but I do not understand the reason, she has everything she wants, she does not get beaten, nothing is denied to Nina only something that I can never give to someone else that is love, but I think it is just the pregnancy hormones affecting her mood besides that that woman fakes very well.
I strike the first blow with the club to the knees of the wretch who has been collaborating with Nuno Tolentino, I want him to say who else is involved but the traitor refuses to tell the truth.
- Now you choose, you fucking traitor, do you want me to break your ribs, your face or are you going to tell who was together with you passing information about us?
The man remained silent, so he took my English punch and dealt several blows to his face, he was totally disfigured but in the end he told me the names I wanted to know, I killed the wretch with two shots to the forehead, he was no longer of any use to me.
- Caetano, let's go back to my apartment!
The leader of the soldiers was not happy at all, for once again he certainly couldn't find the addicted maid, I've told him several times to leave this girl but he insists on looking for her. The girl's mother and brother went to Brazil claiming that they would leave the girl interned here, it is logical that they were ashamed of the junkie but Caetano continues to search every rehabilitation clinic in the country for Luana but it is obvious that Tomas hid well the shame that his sister represented to his family.
On the way we passed in front of the brothel that I had Cecilia left, the place was already full of rich men entering to have a night of pleasure with prostitutes very well paid to satisfy them, every time we passed in front of this disgraced place did not stop thinking about my toy.
How is she? Is she still beautiful and with that enchanting gleam in her eyes? Has the love that she promised to feel for me forever died? Today more than on other days I feel the great need to see her.
- Caetano, stop the car, we're going to the brothel today!
When we entered that place everyone stopped to look at us, the men were afraid and the women panicked. In one year I have increased my fame as a demon on earth, I confess that I like to see them fear me but today I just want to see Cecilia, just once, then I will never go back.
The man who was now running the place came toward me with fear in his eyes and trembling from head to toe, the former owner had passed the business on to his son, but it seems that the young man is not very good at running the place.
- How can I serve you, Mr. Dario?
- I want you to bring the prostitute named Cecilia to me. If she's with a client, dismiss him, tonight I just want her!
The man ran off after my toy, I was so eager to see her again, I hate this feeling but I know it will be worth it just to see my Cecilia again. The man came back nervous as if he didn't have good news.
- Sir, we received a girl named Cecilia a year ago but unfortunately she died three months ago. She was pregnant, had a severe hemorrhage from a bad abortion and died. But if you want we have other girls to serve you tonight!
I didn't want another, I just wanted her! But that wouldn't be possible because Cecilia was dead, if you had come earlier, if you hadn't sent Tomas to bring her here this wouldn't have happened. My toy didn't deserve to die, I was feeling an uncomfortable feeling in my chest as if my heart was going to explode, I had never felt this before in my life.
I didn't want to stay in that place so I called for Caetano so we could leave, Cecilia died because of a damn abortion, to think that she wanted to be a mother but for sure she was forced to take the child she was expecting because she was a prostitute and for sure the child would mess up her life in the brothel.
I have never been a man to feel remorse for anything but my toy loved me but I was unable to say that I felt the same way because I didn't but I could have lied just to make her happy but I couldn't do that because I have always been a monster even with Cecilia who just gave her heart to me.
- Let's not go to the apartment, take me to the mansion and go back to your place. I want to be alone, Caetano!
When Caetano leaves me at the gate I see how the mansion hasn't changed in a year. The garden, the entrance door, and the calm that only existed here were still the same, but why did I feel that emptiness swallowing everything up inside? I looked at every detail of that mansion as if I could see Cecilia in the corners, smiling, reading a book, waiting for me sitting on the living room floor but here there was no one else waiting for me.
After I sent Tomas to take her to the brothel I never came here again but today after I heard about her death I wanted to come to the mansion to see for the last time the memories that this place brings of her. I go to her room looking at some books and clothes that I gave her, Cecilia said she liked books more than jewelry so I never gave her precious jewels as she deserved only the collar that adorned her neck, I take the two small keys that I always carried with me placing them on top of her dressing table.
I didn't give her the freedom even when I got rid of her because I didn't want to take the collar off her neck before I left that morning, maybe I wanted to make her remember me wearing that jewelry but now it didn't matter.
I open the drawers finding a small notebook, it looked like a diary but much more elaborate with well done drawings and a delicate and feminine handwriting for sure hers.
Today was my first real kiss, not that my fallen angel hasn't kissed me other times but this time
I wanted to because I am already in love with him!
Am I crazy? I think Dario likes me too, he gave me a book on natural history. Only a man who loves a woman would give such a special gift! Right? Every day I love Dario Albertini more!
Dario hit me again! But it's because he likes it and he needs to do it, not because he hates me, Dario doesn't hate me, I'm sure of it. But I would so like to know why he takes pleasure in hitting me!
I couldn't stand to read any more because each word I read made me feel what Cecilia was feeling. Even though I didn't want to continue reading until the end, she told me about her day, how she met Luana Vitorino and even about never confessing her love for me but the last pages were the worst possible.
Dario is a monster, he killed that woman without a shred of remorse, he loved her but was unable to show her any mercy. I know he will do the same to me, he will end my life as he did Florencia's, I just don't know how soon he will do it!
He is getting married! But why? Am I not enough for him? But what did I think? I am an object of no value to him, for what reason would he want to keep me for life? I am a fool and an idiot indeed!
Today is my birthday! But I don't think Dario will come, he's too busy playing the role of the perfect groom! I hate that woman for the simple fact that I have him all to myself, I found out that I am jealous but I don't want to share my fallen angel with anyone. He doesn't love me but I don't care, I just wish he would come before he gets rid of me it would be the best birthday present in the whole world.
The last parts of the notebook were drawings of flowers, historical monuments that I imagined when reading her books and even some characters from the books she read, but the last drawing was the one that most destroyed me inside. It was a drawing of me sleeping with a little text underneath.
This is when my fallen angel is at her most beautiful. When I sleep because I know he is at peace, that's when I can also see how good and calm he can be just by watching his sleep!
Cecilia could see goodness and calmness even in a monster like me, but in the end I was the main cause of her untimely death, she was just a 19 year old girl who had no luck in life unlike me who always had everything.
Cecilia had every reason to hate me but she only gave love to me, I know that I will be condemned not for the deaths and atrocities I did during life but for not having reciprocated the love of the one who only knew how to give love to the monster that I am.
I would like to be judged now so that I don't have to live with this horrible feeling of guilt and remorse that I know I will carry for the rest of my damn life for what I did to her.