Cecilia
The future will depend on what we do in the present!
That sentence by Gandhi had been hammering in my head since I started reading about his life and legacy, what would my future be? To death? To prostitution? To life? Or servitude? I couldn't stop thinking about it!
While holding my book and looking at the beauty of my room I reflect on my reading, it was I who decorated and arranged my little corner the way I always wanted it. Nicolas and Lucrezia think I am a puppet in their hands, I don't blame them, I play my role very well, but only my body is here, my mind makes magnificent trips to beautiful and wonderful places, I have been to Narnia, Babylon, Israel when ruled by King David, Rome of the great Caesar Augustus, I have visited the walls of China and met Cleopatra. Books transport me to unimaginable places making it possible to meet magnificent people and even more fantastic stories. Do I live in a dream world? Yes, without a shadow of a doubt, but that's all I have left! When I was 4 years old I read my first book, the Bible, and after that I read more and more. Lucrezia thinks that an escort should be cultured to make her client proud and happy to have an intelligent woman by her side, while Nicolas disagrees because he didn't even learn to write. The two of them are always fighting over various issues, but in the end everything is solved in bed.
I remember seeing them having sex several times when I was little, this is not a good image for a child to see and I know this but they both never had any morals so they thought it was natural to have sex in front of me. Lucrecia never taught me anything about a woman's life all I learned was from books, when I asked her for a medical book, Lucrecia just bought it and gave it to me as if it was an unusual request but she didn't know that she was preparing me for the change that adolescence would bring. So when I had my first period when I was 11, I wasn't scared, I just asked her to give me a package of pads. After my first period, my body changed rapidly. At 16 I already had a body with defined curves and silhouettes because of the constant exercises that Lucrezia forced me to do.
Nicolas' house is a huge fortress but once a year he opens the doors of the house to welcome the criminal world, the famous Ferraz auctions, famous for the auctioned items. While the auctions were going on I couldn't leave the room, I could only see the movement of cars and people outside, I knew that the great majority of the auctioned items had particulars in them like the time he auctioned the twelve year old twins, I remember Lucrezia saying that today they are already 15 years old and both are pregnant by their owner, so he wanted them for sex. It is sad to know that they had no childhood and are unlikely to have a healthy adult life but who am I to say that? I was raised and educated to be auctioned off, Nicolas always says that I am the most valuable piece in his portfolio that will bring him a lot of profit, I smile and shake my head at him to go away soon whenever he says that. The man is extremely disgusting and disgusting, I don't know how a woman as beautiful as Lucrezia could like him, especially because he can't stop looking at me. Nicolas has not done what his eyes want only because he intends to auction me off as a virgin, otherwise he would have raped me already.
- My friend Gandhi, we have a big problem, my present is not in my hands and consequently my future is not in my hands either!
I close the book and put it away on the beautiful bookshelf in my room, it matures very fast so I had no dolls or natural teddy bears in a little girl's room, just my books and notebooks. I am great with grammar, math, history, physics, chemistry, philosophy, sociology and all kinds of art in general. I know works from the Renaissance to Salvador Dalí just by reading, in another life maybe I will know these works personally, I still have the dream of visiting the Louvre museum but I think this will only happen when I disincarnate and receive the privilege of evolving to be able to come back in a new body. Since I read Alan Kardec, I realized that I liked the spiritualist doctrine but I also loved the Catholic Saints, yet I find Buddhism and its detachment from material things very beautiful. In a nutshell, I don't have a defined religion, I believe in everything, even leprechauns if I don't know. I laugh alone with this thought, the books didn't let me go crazy or drove me crazy to be honest I don't know but I know that if it weren't for them I would probably be dead already. Being the age I am, I have never been to the movies or to the park all I know is reading, once Lucrezia gave me a book about the best movies of all time, it was the closest to a movie theater I have ever been to. But I don't regret it as much as I should, I still have the unique privilege of life, something that many don't have.
- Cecilia, are you still dressed like that? Let's go! Get ready because you have to practice the dance of the seven veils. You have to look perfect for tonight's auction, Nicolas is counting on it.
Lucrezia does everything to please Nicolas, I imagine she would sell her soul to the devil if he asked, but I feel sorry for her, Nicolas is a wretch who loves no one, imagine her doing everything for him.
- I ended up getting distracted by the book I was reading but I change clothes quickly, I apologize, Lucrezia!
I'm a good liar, even Lucrezia and Nicolas don't suspect this. I make a submissive posture, lowering my head and always ready to serve, but I'm not the trained dog that they imagine me to be, on the contrary, every day I become freer and wilder!
- Dance for me, Cecilia! Don't forget the veils must fall with elegance and seduction, those interested in you must notice how seductive and mysterious you are, understand?
She nodded her head showing that I understood everything she said, to think that this dance made a righteous man lose his mind makes me a little uneasy about dancing it but it could happen that the highest bidder could also lose his mind for me, and die of a stroke. She started laughing internally at my evil thought but at the same time my inner goddess condemns me for it, it is ugly to wish someone's death even if it is a perverted and cruel criminal, I read a book once that said that all of us women have a goddess inside us that rules us. It seemed like a lot of nonsense but living in the middle of so many wrong things I had to cling to this nonsense in order not to end up rotting along with the rest of the people here, I have no friends and the way things are going I'll be alone or end up becoming a Lucretia, begging for the love of a man who clearly doesn't love her. She starts to dance as Lucrezia asked, letting one by one the veils fall to the floor. I make a quick move to put my hair in front of my breasts so that no one can see them, the mystery that Lucrezia emphasized so much. When I finish, Nicholas is there behind Lucretia looking at me with desire and passion, and I smile at Lucretia, receiving the same satisfied smile from her. I can't say that she is a mother, aunt, or godmother; she is only what, a shadow of someone I am becoming. And it's very sad to know that I'll meet the same end as her!
- You are more beautiful every day, Cecilia! I'll have all the expense you gave me back in a few hours.
He tried to touch my breasts but Lucrezia stepped in front of him with her beautiful seductive smile. After I finished putting on my clothes I just paced around, trying to control my breathing. Nicolas can't put his hands on me before the auction and he knows it even so I know he wants me but now he is becoming more explicit every day. I prefer a thousand times an old man on top of me taking my virginity than Nicolas touching me.
- DISGUSTING BASTARD!
I know that Lucrezia is rubbing up against Nicolas, and I give a cry of hatred for him wanting to touch me without respecting the fact that I grew up here. I could perfectly well be his daughter, but he seems to see me as a worthless piece of meat. Calmer, I leave the bathroom with a beautiful smile on my face pretending was a lesson learned very well with Lucrezia, I see her and Nicolas kissing find that scene grotesque as I always thought since childhood, I went to my room to meditate needed to be relaxed, and only meditation could bring this to me. I spent hours in the buddha position meditating, leaving my mind totally clear of any bad thoughts.
- Cecilia, Cecilia!
Lucrezia was standing in front of me looking as if she was nervous.
- I've been calling you for about ten minutes, go get ready, girl, it's already seven o'clock!
I took a deep breath getting up from the floor, it was time to be sold as a commodity for the highest bidder as I wished I could escape all this by getting into some time machine trying to convince my mother not to abandon me in the orphanage but unfortunately this kind of machine only exists in books.