CHAPTER 30 - VISHAL (THE FIRST UNIVERSE)
Watching the leaves fall from the tree is a little medicinal and it eases a bit of the suffocation I'm feeling in my heart. My fingers are loosely wrapped around the glass of brandy in my hand. I sip from it again, not letting my eyes off the window.
It's a bright day and full of good energy but I feel more gloomy than I ever have. Jane has been gone for over a week and there's still no news about her disappearance. Richard has disappeared too. No trace of him or his feral werewolves. It feels like they all just…disappeared. For real.
I've combed the entire pack and beyond in my desperate search for my mate, Jane. I've contacted every Alpha of the packs in the region to be on the lookout and let me know if they see her. But no one has any news about her or Richard.
It's been frustrating and agonizing for me, waking up each day alone and knowing that my mate is somewhere out there but I can't find her.
I take another chug of my brandy, savoring the taste before gulping it down. It's still too early to be drinking this much but I don't care anymore.
What's the use of being so prim and proper if I can't even do a thing to find my mate? What's the use of being a man with principles when my life got destroyed before my eyes and I can't do anything to save it? Why should I try to be moral when I've failed as a father and as a husband?
Oliver has been crying nonstop ever since Jane disappeared. My little girl hasn't eaten any real food and she's been throwing hellish tantrums. No one can soothe her, well, except me, but I spend more time out looking for Jane. So, my poor daughter, most times cries herself to sleep, and then she wakes up in tears again. It's a vicious circle and watching her breaks my heart.
I need to find Jane and bring her home to us. But where do I look? Every clue seems like a maze. I don't know what to do. It feels like I met a dead-end. I feel so worthless and empty and I hate the feeling.
I bring the glass to my lips but it's empty. I didn't even realize when I finished the brandy. I turn to grab the bottle on the table but Scott takes it away from me.
"Not today, man. You need to stay sober." Scott says, putting the bottle farther from my reach.
"Sober for what?" I scoff, placing the glass on the table with a frustrated sigh. "Jane is gone. No hope of finding her…"
"Don't say that, man. You know we're never giving up this search until we get your mate back. You know that." He looks at me with eyes full of optimism. But I'm too broken to be so optimistic.
"I wanna believe you, dude. I badly want to. But as each day goes by, she's yet to be found. I fear for what might have happened to her. I don't wanna imagine what that monster Richard might have done to her…"
I run my fingers through my hair as my heart clenches in pain. Tears sting my eyes but I blink them back.
Scott stands and I'm sure he's about to tell me to calm down and have faith. He's been saying that for days now. And honestly, I'm tired of hearing them. Richard is a maniac. Jane is never safe with him. So asking me to calm down while Jane is with him is just impossible.
The door opens and Ray walks in. He's been helping with the search for Jane. The forlorn look on his face doesn't go unnoticed. And it crushes any bit of hope I had.
"The men and I searched the small packs in the dark forest area. Still no sign of Jane. I'm sorry, Vishal." His eyes are on me as he says the words.
"Fuck this!" I explode in rage, grabbing my glass and smashing it against the wall. It breaks into debris and shatters over the floor.
"Dude, calm the fuck down!" Scott yells, stepping away from the mess.
"Calm down?" I scoff, tugging at my buttons. This shirt just feels so suffocating now. "Jane has been gone for over a week and you're asking me to calm down?"
"We're still searching for her…"
"She could be dead for all we know!" I snap furiously. "Or suffering. How the hell can I calm down?!"
"We don't know that for sure," Ray adds. "No one knows exactly what has happened to Jane."
"Yeah. My point exactly." I scoff and storm out of the office, slamming the door so fucking hard.
Fuck this!
"Hey."
The soft voice startles me and I turn to see June, leaning against the wall. She's dressed in…
"Isn't that one of Jane's dresses?" I ask with an arched brow.
"Yeah." She smiles, coming to stand closer to me. "I found it in her room and I thought I could borrow it if you don't mind…"
I remain silent for a few seconds, still looking at the dress. I know it too well 'cause she's worn it at one of our dinner dates. Later that same night, I remember taking it off and making fucking her hard.
"It's fine. You can borrow it. Not a problem." I smile at her, trying to brush off my uneasiness.
"Thank you." She glances at the door. "How did it go? Did Ray find any trace of her?"
"No." Admitting it makes my heart drop into an ocean of despair. "I'm beginning to think we might not ever find her."
"Hey, don't say that. I'm sure we'll find Jane soon." She cautions me.
I smile at how defensive she is. It shows she truly loves Jane. She might have changed a bit and is a little more carefree now but she still loves Jane.
For the last few days, she's been staying over at the pack house to take care of Oliver. Too bad Oliver is yet to warm up to her but she still sticks around. She talks me out of my depression too. She's been doing a lot. I feel so grateful.
"Jane is really lucky to have a friend who loves her like you do," I say, with a small smile.
"I'm the lucky one." She says, breaking into tears. "No one ever liked me back then, just Jane. I miss her so much. I miss my best friend so much."
I can't just stand there watching her cry so I pull her into a quick hug.
"We'll find her." Now I'm the one being positive and trying to stay strong.
"We have to." She sighs, holding me tighter and burying her face into my chest.
I pull away, feeling a little awkward by our proximity.
"I wanna go somewhere. We'll talk later." I say, quickly excusing myself and walking away.
I don't know, but sometimes, I feel like June is just…I don't know. It makes no sense. She's Jane's friend. She'll never wanna take her place. Right?
Yeah. Maybe I'm just overthinking things. My mind is messed up and making me have silly thoughts. June is a great friend. She'll never betray Jane.