SPENCER
The next day at school, I was pretty quiet. Everything seemed different from this new point of view.
There were only a few days left until the end of school, and I had to act normal. Nothing had changed yet, and for now, I was still the same Spencer. But when I looked at the people around me, saw them laughing and chatting, and sharing their excitement about the upcoming summer holidays before college, I saw a huge abyss between us. And if there was a green and sunny endless field on their side, I stood alone in the dark on mine, shielding myself from them with secrets and lies.
Today, Brian wasn’t the only one I was avoiding. I kept my conversations with Alex short as well, and when we sat in class, I was afraid to meet her eyes when she turned to me with a questioning look.
She was my best friend, and we shouldn’t have secrets from each other, but I could never tell her that I was a witch, and even more so that the guy I met was a werewolf, and I was about to join his shifting party.
“Did you even hear what I was saying?” Alex finally lost her patience on our way to the school parking lot after classes.
“Sorry. I spaced out.”
She stopped. “What’s going on, Spencer?”
“Nothing. I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well the last couple of nights.” At least that wasn’t a lie.
“Is it because of Brian? Did you break up with him?”
That was the last thing I should worry about right now, but I couldn’t refuse to use it as a reason for my distraction.
“Yeah, it’s Brian. I’m so angry with him. I didn’t really break up with him yet, but I don’t think it matters. His college is in Boston, and that’s definitely not where I’m going.”
“So where are you going? Have you decided yet?”
Another trick question. I was accepted into three colleges. I was going to do more research on them before making my final decision. Plus, I needed to look at the tuition fee. Mom inherited some money from her parents, and she kept saying it would be fine, but it wasn’t like I could go anywhere I wanted.
And who knew what would happen after my first transition? Finn said first I would need to learn to control my strength.
“Nope. Did you?”
And as she started telling me about her plans, I got distracted again. My eyes caught the familiar black Volvo parked on the road under a tree. At the same moment, my phone buzzed in my pocket.
It was a text from Finn. Need a ride?
Alex and I lived on the same street, and usually, it was her who gave me a ride home. But I needed Finn’s company so much more at this moment. I was going to tell Alex that I forgot to return some books to the library, and I had to go back, but it was too late for that. She had traced my gaze and was now staring at Finn through his open car window.
“Alex, someone is waiting for me.” I shifted from foot to foot. “We’ll talk later, okay?”
“Is that the guy?” She flashed Finn a smile. “No wonder you lost sleep.”
“It’s not like that,” I said with frustration. “He doesn’t know anyone here, and he needs help with some . . . stuff. Stop staring at him.”
She smirked. “Poor Brian.”
“Seriously?” I shot her a look. “I didn’t know you were team Brian.”
“Oh, I’m not. I’m team Spencer. You go girl.”
“I told you it’s not what you think.”
“Yeah yeah.” Grinning, she winked at me and headed to her car. “See you tomorrow.”
I imagined what Brian would think if he saw me right now as I headed toward the car. When I glanced back, I saw him standing on the parking lot, looking at me his eyes narrowed.
Crap.
“Let’s go,” I said the moment I got into the car.
“Would you like me to take you home?” asked Finn, starting the engine. “Or maybe—”
“Just get us out of here first.”
He glanced into the rearview mirror as we took off.
“It would be better if you talked to him, you know. Let him know how you feel.”
“I already told him how I feel. I just don’t know if it counts as a breakup. All I know is that from the side, it looks like I’m cheating on him. Like I dumped him for you.”
Finn chuckled. “Right.”
“It’s not funny. It makes me look bad. Like I’m the guilty one, a horrible person.”
“He knows the truth, and that’s enough.”
“Does he? He says he’s sorry every time, and he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for. How can he change, be better, if he doesn’t understand what he did wrong?” I paused, then said, “How does the clean break work? Can this count as a clean break?”
Finn laughed.
“What?” I spread my hands. “I never had to do this before. I never had a serious relationship with anyone.”
“So, this was a serious relationship?”
“No. But—Ach. Can we talk about something else? It’s not that I don’t have more important things to worry about.”
“Exactly. What do you want to—”
“How about you? Did you have a serious relationship? Or maybe you still do.”
“I thought you wanted to talk about something else. This isn’t changing the subject. Only the object.”
“Hey, you’ve been here only for a few days, and you already know everything about me. It’s only fair if you tell me something about yourself.”
Finn heaved a breath. “No, I haven’t. A serious relationship is when you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. I have never been in love like that.”
“That clears it all up. I’ve never been in love at all. So I’m just setting him free, and there’s nothing to worry about. He can thank me later.”
If only it were that easy. The guilt was still there as if I chopped off a branch from a tall tree with a happy hamster on it, which didn’t see it coming, had nothing around to hold on to, and had no choice but to slam his shocked face against the ground rushing toward him.
“Spencer?”
I turned to Finn with my absent look.
“My name is Finn. You’re in my car. We are driving to nobody knows where.” He grinned.
“Sorry. I spaced out.” I’ve been saying that a lot lately. “Let’s go somewhere with no people.”
“Gladly. How about that lake right behind the town border? I drove by it on my way here looking for a motel.”
“Sure. I like that place. We had parties there once or twice.”
There was so much I wanted to talk to him about, so many questions to ask, and I thought it would be nice to go somewhere quiet, where we could be alone and wouldn’t be stared at or overheard.
“Where were you coming from?” I asked as we crossed the town border. “Or maybe the right question is where were you going?”
“I was coming from New Orleans. And I was on my way home.”
“Where’s home?”
“Near Asheville. It’s a beautiful place. Can’t wait to show it to you.”
“We’re witches. If people find out . . . Are you sure it’s safe for us to stay there? And don’t get me wrong, it’s you I’m worried about.”
“Don’t.” He gave me a serene look. “Besides, it’s not like people can tell you’re a witch just by looking at you. I wouldn’t know if you hadn’t used magic on me, and I’m someone who knows that the supernatural exists.”
“We only use our powers to protect ourselves. Witches can sense each other, and it doesn’t always end well. Also, there are accidents that can happen when you’re angry, or from sudden fear. We used magic to save people’s lives a few times, but it scared the hell out of them, and we had to disappear.” Through the window glass, I looked at the blooming garden of one of the houses on my side of the road. “No one cares if you use your powers to do good. If it’s one or two who witnessed the process, then we can wipe their memories. But when there are more, the best thing to do was move.”
“Life has always been hard for lone supernaturals. But there are ways to protect yourself. For me, it’s mostly from my own kind.”
“So you’re saying when I become a wolf, I would have to hide from other wolves if I don’t join a pack?”
Something changed in Finn’s mood. He answered, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Let’s just wait until you turn, then I will explain this to you more and you can decide what you want.”
“You mean if I wanted to join a pack? No. I wouldn’t. Mom said if I do, she wouldn’t be allowed to come with me. And I’m not leaving her behind.”
****
SPENCER
The edge of the lake showed up ahead. Finn took the first exit and parked the car on the narrow road running between the trees.
We made our way to the lakeshore, listening to the rustle of leaves and a few chirping birds.
“Nice,” I said, taking a deep breath of the fresh spring air.
We approached the small wooden dock, and I bent down and dipped my hand in the water.
“It’s warm.”
“Wanna swim?” Finn grinned.
“Nooo,” I shook my head.
Everything about him—his look, his voice, his confidence—was so inviting. I couldn’t believe that I came here to this romantic, detached-from-people place with a dangerous werewolf I barely knew.
I looked into his eyes and his face became serious at once.
“Spencer.” He took my hand. “You don’t need to be afraid of me. I’ll never hurt you.”
I blinked. Was it written on my face?
“I’m not. And I think that’s the problem. Maybe I should’ve been more careful with someone I met only a few days ago and knew nothing about except that he’s a powerful supernatural creature.”
“You want to know me?” He let go of me and sat down on the dock. “Come here,” he tapped the spot next to him.
Of course, the fact that he was a wolf wasn’t the only problem. There was another one. Only a blind person wouldn’t notice how sexy he was, and as hard as I tried to think of him as a friend, I couldn’t ignore the butterflies in my stomach every time he was close. To shut them up, I blabbed the whole ride here. What if his charm clouded my judgment?
No. I know I can trust him.
Whatever he and my mom talked about made Mom trust him enough to tell him the truth about us and agree to stay at his place during my transition. If Mom, who was always so careful, felt safe to open up to him, then I was sure he was trustworthy.
“Let’s talk,” he said as I settled next to him. “There isn’t much to tell about me, and I don’t know where to start, to be honest. How about you ask me questions, and I will answer them as honestly as I can?”
“As honestly as you can? And if you can’t, you’ll lie about the rest, right?”
“No.” He tilted his head, looking at me like I was a three-year-old who needed a detailed explanation. “I’ll just tell you that I’m sorry, but it’s something I can’t talk about,” he said, stretching every word.
“I’m not stupid.” I poked him in the arm, and he grabbed my finger.
“I never said you were,” he chuckled. “You just have trust issues. But that’s a good thing. We should be watchful. We can never let our guard down.” He wrapped his hand around mine and examined my finger. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”
With a teasing smirk, he pressed my palm to his chest. Through his shirt, I felt the heat coming from his body.
Oh shut up, I said in my mind to my rising heartbeat.
“Why? Your arm hurts that much?” I replied with sarcasm. But I didn’t withdraw my hand. “Here’s my first question. Why are you a lone wolf?”
“I can’t be in a pack. But even if I could, I don’t think I would want to.” He rested my hand on the dock between us. “Every pack has its own rules and traditions, like any other society. But those rules and traditions are very old-fashioned, and there’s no democracy there. All the wolves should obey their alpha, no question asked. For the ones who grew up in that environment, it’s normal. Not for all of them, of course. There is always a rebel or two. The punishments for rule-breaking can be extremely cruel. They wouldn’t hesitate to kill one of their own.” His face grew dark. “Sometimes without trial.”
What the hell?
“I don’t want to be a part of something like that either. But you said you can’t be? Why?”
“Sorry, this is one of those things I can’t talk about. Not yet.”
“Hmm,” I pursed my lips. “Okay.” I paused, thinking about which of my million questions to ask next. I decided to go with easy ones to chase away his sudden thoughtfulness. “Does your family live in Asheville too?”
“I don’t have a family. It’s just me.” He shrugged.
Oooh, crap. And I thought I was making things better.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “Why? What happened? You don’t have to answer if—”
“It’s alright, Spencer.” His lips stretched into a mirthless smile. “I never knew my parents, and I saw them only in pictures. They died right after I was born.”
Both at once? I was about to ask how his parents died but stopped myself before the words could come out. Maybe it was too hard for him to talk about if he didn’t say it himself.
“Did you grow up in an orphanage?”
“No. I was raised by my grandfather. He died when I was sixteen.”
I sighed. “I never knew my father. Mom says he died before I was born. I don’t know what he looked like. Haven’t even seen him in a picture. Maybe if he was around, all these werewolf things wouldn’t be as terrifying.” I released another, deeper sigh.
“Spencer, I’m here for you. I will do everything I can to help you.”
“Who helped you? Your grandfather?”
“No. I knew I was a werewolf since I was eight. My grandfather told me everything I needed to know about my kind, but by the time I had to turn, he was gone. I wished I had someone experienced next to me who would encourage and guide me. But there was no one. That’s why I don’t want you to go through this alone. No one should.”
We looked at each other, and the moment our eyes met, my butterflies flapped their wings.
“I’m glad you found me.”
“I’m glad too.” His gray eyes pierced me with a tender look. “We should stick together, and maybe one day we’ll gather our own pack.” He chuckled.
“And you’ll become . . . what’s your last name?”
“Leatherwood.”
“You’ll become Alpha Finn Leatherwood.”
“Or maybe it will be you. Alpha Spencer Marshall.”
“Hmm. Very feminist of you.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out. My eyebrows jumped up as I read the text.