I just couldn't get it. Why does he hate me that much? What have I done to him? Does he love someone else? Maybe I should ask him. What does he want? If he doesn't want this marriage I won't force him. He doesn't want to marry me in the first place, but, It's my fault that I lost myself in that delusion of mine and let myself to fall into the deeper pits of the abyss. If he wants to end this marriage, I am fine with it. I cannot take it anymore. I have tried to love and be loved by him, I have tried to know the reason for his hatred, the reason for pushing us away but not anymore.
His hatred is far too much to handle. I am losing myself in his hatred day by day. The burning rage of his for me is breaking me.
I was lost in my thoughts. Tonight, I will talk to Desmond. But, I love him. Ever since we have met I have fallen for him. I could not imagine my life without him. But, for him, I will do everything. The problem is that I can't talk to him. In his presence, I lost my courage to speak and ended up crying unwillingly every time. I want liberation.
"Ma'am! There's a letter for you!" Lily came. Savannah had some family problems so she is on leave. It's kinda lonely without her. I am just used to her presence. She cried so much, she begged for forgiveness because of that. I can understand, no one can go against that powerful Desmond. I just liked her presence, nothing else. Besides, no great outcome had come from anger and hatred.
"What is it?" I asked, smiling. Seems like a smile is a part of my being. I always smile. Except when I have to deal with Desmond's wrath. It's something unbearable.
She handed me a letter. I chuckle nervously. Letter? I opened it and began to read it.
****
Ester La Corte,
How's your life with a Devil going? Did he hit you yet? Or perhaps he is eliciting fears in your heart slowly? Breaking you slowly and painfully. You must be miserable. Don't worry, This is just the start. You'll have to suffer more. Now, he has a weakness. I can take advantage of you.
Just like he did with my sister. Breaking her excruciatingly.
The more he breaks you, the more I'm gonna make you desperate. You'll regret marrying in this house. I will make you miserable while he's gonna make you petrified. And you can't do a single thing to save yourself. There's no way for you to find sanctuary. Just you watch how your life is slowly gonna slip away from you because of your beloved husband...
Your Worst Nightmare...
****
My eyes widened in horror. I began to pant anticipated with fear. My hands began to shake. Who is this? I don't think that Desmond will attempt such a low act.
"Is everything all right?" Lily asked.
"W-Where is Desmond?"
"Sir is in the office " I gulped and left for my room.
I was pacing around the room, waiting for Desmond to come home. I am really scared. I just hope that it isn't from Desmond. He entered the room,
"D-Desmond.." My scared form called him. He looked at me and narrowed his eyes.
"If you h-hate me t-that much then t-tell me.." I quiver.
"What are you talking about?"He said, getting irritated. I handed him the letter. He took the letter and began to read it. He grits his teeth in anger and began to say in an angry tone,
"Great. How much of a burden can you be?"I looked at him in disbelief. He runs his hands in his hair. He then gripped my shoulders tightly.
"Can't you take care of yourself!" He spat at me. An awful rage took over me as I pushed him away and yelled,
"What the hell is your problem!? What have I ever done to you that you hate me that much!?"
"You are a weight that is crushing me by each passing moment." He told me what he always wanted to say.
"AND YOU, WHO DESTROY THE LIVES OF PEOPLE!" I shouted as tears brimmed in my eyes.
"Don't you dare to shed those pathetic tears of yours."He said with a scowl and began to pace around the room in frustration.
"It has nothing to do with you! Leave me alone you Heartless Bastard!" I yelled and left the room and ran towards the garden. I sat on the ground and hid my face in my knees and began to cry. I continued to sob at my agony for I don't know how long.
As I sat there cursing him in my mind, I felt someone sitting beside me. I didn't look up to see the person.
"Take this. I have made it for us." I heard a soft voice of Desmond- too much to my astonishment. I looked up and saw Desmond with an apologetic look and with two cups of hot chocolate.I turned my head away.
"I don't want it!" I said in angrily. I heard his sigh as he spoke up.
"You are right, I am a cold bastard and I don't think anyone but you can bear this bastard." He said in a low tone. I looked at him, and he was still offering me hot chocolate. "You have said it yourself if it would be a normal girl she would have left me." He said.
"Because they are not weak and don't live in self-deceptions." I said and took the hot chocolate and turned my head away again.
"What about this letter? Whose life have you destroyed?" I said coldly. "Maybe a threat from a family member of one of my infatuations.." He said, shrugging his shoulders. "Are you even loyal to me?" I asked. "I am. You can trust me with this." He sighed.
"Do you want to leave me?" I said out of nowhere. My heart ached at this as I mentally prepared myself for his answer. But, Instead of hearing that, I heard another sigh and stood up. I slowly turned my head and looked at him. He offered me his hand as I hesitantly took it.
"Come. I am taking you to my parents' home. There, shake these thoughts off."