We were having dinner in silence. I took a deep breath and called Desmond,
"Desmond..." He immediately shot up his head and asked with a smile,
"What is it, Ester?" He tried to be as sweet as possible. He can't win my heart now. It's too late. I felt afraid, thinking about how he'll react after hearing what I am about to say. I am afraid he might do something unexpected to me. I mustered some courage and gulped. I opened my mouth to speak but dread was stuck in my throat.
" What is it, Ester? " He asked, still with that same smile and sweetness. I swallowed hard and looked at him.
" I want to go back to my parent's home," I said in a firm voice. His eyes widened in horror. He gulped and let out a shallow breath.
"You are not leaving me, are you Ester?" He asked in a tentative voice.
"No...not now..." I replied in a whisper. His lips began to quiver. He looked utterly in despair. He tried to speak but couldn't.
That's what I felt in your presence...
I took a deep breath and left him, alone with his thoughts.
I went to our room and began to pack my stuff- once again. I felt so void. No tears fell from my eyes. Desmond came and leaned on the door frame.
"Are you leaving now?" He asked in a hurt voice. His voice was croaked. He was holding his tears.
"Drop me off..." I said as I continued packing my stuff.
"I can't..." I know he'll break if he drops me off.
"Please Desmond," I said looking at him with a tired look. He closed his eyes and said before leaving,
" I am waiting for you downstairs."
I took a deep breath and came to him. He looked at me and turned his head away. We sat in the car. The drive was silent. I decided to break the silence and spoke up,
"Desmond.." He hummed in response. Seeing him like that made my heart ache.
"Why didn't you let me go at that time?" I asked him. I always want to know why he did that.
"That will break you. You loved me too much..." he said. I felt heartbroken by the word 'loved'. I was taken aback by this. I still love you. But, my terror is far greater than my love. I know I loved him too much at that time. If we separate, that will crumble me. But, it's different this time...
We stopped in front of my house. I was about to get out but Desmond stopped me.
"Ester...Can you kiss me before leaving?" He asked, almost pleading. He was panting. His every tranquil has been broken. I hesitated and looked down.
"Lips are not necessary. Anywhere. Please." He said in pure desperation. I bit my lips and leaned in. He was panting and trying his best not to cry. I moved closer as my face was a few centimeters away from him. I felt his breath on my face. Tears in his eyes are visible. He was broken. He closed his eyes as I stared at his beautiful features.
If I am going to kiss him, why not do it the way I always want?
I ran my hand in his hair as I slightly pulled them. I moved to his neck. I close my eyes as a tear release itself. I leaned in as my delicate lips made contact with his exposed neck. I kissed his neck, taking my time. I want to embed that feeling deep into my soul. I want to crave this supreme pleasure to my very core. So, that could be my eternal source of salvation. After being satisfied that the feeling of my first kiss to him is divine for both of us, I pulled away. I slowly opened my eyes and met his gaze.
We were panting, we stared at each other for a long time. A feeling filled with pure and in-depth emotions surges through us. Our presence is filled with despair. Our eyes speak as our breaths fill the absence of sound. Our eyes begged each other. His eyes begged me not to go while my eyes begged him to let me go. Our breaths synchronized as a single tear simultaneously released itself from both of our eyes. We bore into each other's eyes as if that was the last thing we were going to do. We deeply implant that brief feeling of holy gratification in our soul. Our heavenly moment ended as I pulled away.
"Goodbye," I said as I got out of the car. He nodded and looked away, biting his lips. I also bit my lips and left, so did he.
I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. I went inside and shouted,
"Mother! Father!" They both came out as I hugged them.
"I missed you so much! I asked Desmond to drop me off." They kissed my forehead.
"We missed you too, Love," Father said sadly. I grinned and began to say,
"That's why I am not leaving that soon!" I beamed despite the fact I am utterly broken. I tried my best to be as cheerful as possible. They both chuckle as I smile.
"Why are you crying?" Mother asked concern. Only if I can tell you how broken I am. How I am falling apart. I wiped my tear and said,
"I just missed you so much." I smiled and hugged them again.
"Mother! Cook something for me!" I cheerfully asked the mother.
"At this hour? Anyways, Okay." I grinned and excused myself and went to my room. I exhaled as I entered my room. I fall on the bed and put my head under the pillow to muffle my cries.
During my stay here, I need to think, whether I want to live with Desmond forever or not. He is showing me the love I always want but I am far too scared to give in to his affection. I don't think I will ever be able to feel unafraid in his presence. His presence is enough to fill me with dread. It's truly difficult for me to live with him...
1 Week Later:-
It's been a week and I have finally made up my mind. I took a deep breath and went to my mother.
"Mother..." I called her. She turned and smiled.
"What is it, Love?" She asked.
"Where's father? I need to talk to you two." I said.
"Ester, Is something wrong?" Mother asked concern. I inhaled deeply and said,
"I don't know.." Mother came to me and hugged me.
"Ester... Ever since you came back, you have been acting rather differently. Is everything alright?" Mother asked. She is really worried. I wiped my tears and pulled away.
"I just want to talk to you two," I said as I left for the garden.
I went to the garden and looked at the yellow rose plant. I smiled faintly at this. That's how everything started. I was walking merrily in the garden with that flower. I pressed my cold fingers against themselves.
It's night, father came and I went to him. They both were sitting in the lounge with a worried look. I took a deep breath and began to say,
"Father... What will happen if marriage is a contract?" I used my words cautiously.
"Ridiculous! I will never allow such a thing!" Father said angrily.
"What if that happens?" I asked again.
"Never. That's why I and Mr Corte are not even business partners." Father said proudly.
"You are not?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes. Because it made us feel like we are selling you guys." Father stated.
"I see..." I trailed off. Okay, I can't tell him about the contract.
"What happened, Ester?... Don't tell me...." Father asked in shock.
"No!... It's something else.." I bit my lips nervously, thinking about how I should tell them.
"Father... Mother..." I looked down as tears began to fall.
"I am scared.." I said in a whisper-like voice.
"Of what?" They both asked at the same time and came to me.
"Desmond..." I said in a barely audible tone.
"What?" Father asked in confusion. I began to cry while looking down. I can't see their gaze.
"Desmond... He scares me... Too much... I am so afraid of him... Last time... He forced me to stay in this marriage... He never apologized for his mistakes... I am really scared..." I said between the sobs. Mother patted my back as father asked in a serious tone,
"Did he hit you?"
"No! He... Showed his power over me... Like I am some inferior being... He terrorizes me... He doesn't even love me... We haven't even kissed yet..." I cried my heart out, telling them what I wanted to tell them for a long time. They tried to soothe me.
"I can't live with him!" I cried.
"How could he.." Father growled in anger.
"Don't do anything... I want to release myself from him.. please.." I held father's hand tightly and continued to sob.
"Ester... " Father hugged as I cried.
Finally, I told them what I wanted from the first day of our marriage. My fears.....
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