I knew I was going to have to face my ghosts only past he was never present and now wants to see me. Something was wrong and I was going to find out.
"Good morning, how are you today? And
- I'm fine Enzo and apologies for yesterday.
Are you going out? He stares at me.
" I'm going to need to see my mother. I have an appointment with a friend. But I’ll see you later.
I kissed him on the cheek, and I left, I didn't say anything else, I didn't talk about it, I didn't talk about coming back earlier, I didn't say anything, I just went on a date with my dad, my heart was tight after all his years to come back and why all this now? He set up a restaurant near my mom's hospital, so he already knows about my mom, you know everything, that's the truth because he's here now?
When I got there I was already there badly dressed, the hair badly combed, the big beard, I shook my head, I did not believe when I arrived and sat, I had not even courage to look at him with his head down, I continued to put my hands on the table and he tried to hold my hand and I took it off.
“ Why all this now? Why did you show up?
"Valentina let's talk. I need to talk to you.
" It's not like that. You disappear and you abandoned us. Why did you leave us? Why did you abandon us?
I'm still suffering from him for everything I've heard in my life because of him, I took a deep breath. My will was to run away from there. I held back the tears, I wasn't going to cry. I looked at him and held my hand and took it off.
"You just disappeared, abandoned us, and now you come back with that licked face on what you want? Spite, let it all go at once, because I don't have time to waste.
" You give me no other way out, Valentina. He lowered his head and took a deep breath and seemed uncourageous and loose: — But I need money. That's why I'm here.
" Blatant...
After all these years he abandoned us, he now comes back and wants money for sure is for drinking. And because he did this to us, the only thing he knows how to do and knew how to hurt us, hurt us. Look how my mom is doing. He didn't even ask about her. He didn't even want to know how I was doing. And you've come asking me for money. They are little cardinals that we carry in life, and I see that for the rest of our lives this is the truth, I looked at it, almost cried, but I held back tears.
"You came all the way out here to ask for money, you didn't even ask about my mother, or how I am, why do you do it? To use drinks and look how you are, what father are you?
He shook his head and said:
"I'm here and what matters is I want money, I don't care about anything or anyone else. If you don't give it to me, I don't know what to do, I need that money, Valentina, and it has to be now because if I don't, I won't be able to walk the streets. I took pity on him. I looked again and took what I had in my wallet. And I put it on the table, and I left. I didn't look back. I couldn't, I couldn't take it, I stood by the restaurant and cried so much when I saw him leaving. I followed him, I wanted to know where he lived, what he was doing and why back now. After disappearing without even saying goodbye to us and when I approached, he doubled the corner and he went to the side under the central bridge and I went along, I stared.
And I couldn't stand to see that. Oh my god! He was buying drugs. A boy all tattooed, stranger. He still looked and I hid, and he bought it and came out of there all happy with it in his hand. I didn't believe that. He's living under the bridge. And he still uses drugs. Oh, my God, is that my dad?
I couldn't believe it. Two bad guys follow me to see me nearby and I hide and without strength I run away. I still made it out of that hideous place. Those bad-looking men. When I got home, I couldn't stand the pain. I started drinking and crying. Crying nonstop. I'm a good thing Enzo wasn't home, so I didn't have to give satisfaction. But I cried so much, and I drank. I looked at his picture and I didn't believe that man was that one? It's a stranger to me and now he was hurting me once more when I hear the door open he came and saw me there crest wise and drinking he looked at me and asked:
"What happened, Valentina?
"Don't ask me anything, please just hold me.
I jumped on his neck and hugged and cried non-stop and he stroked my hair and snug me in his chest.