She slowly looks up from her hands to my face, wonderingly
"Something?" She asks as she wipes her tears with her hands. It's obvious she's clueless about what I just asked her but I'm not about to repeat myself. Let her figure out what she's hiding from me herself
"I'm sorry Alpha, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know..." She immediately stopped talking when I raised an eyebrow questioningly at her
For some seconds, I glared at her while she nervously clutched at her fingers.
"Ohh, yes..." She suddenly says and looks at me. "The only thing I know I should have let you know is that uhmmm... I– I mean..." She stammers and goes back to looking down at her fingers.
"Do you think I have all day to spend dilly-dallying with you!?" I coldly ask.
"No!... I mean, I'm sorry, Alpha. I– I don't mean to waste your time. Uhmmm... The only thing I know I should have let you know is that... I– I found my mate." She finally says, peeking at me from under her veil of hair. Gauging my facial expression I suppose.
She continues speaking after a while that I don't say anything in response to the bomb she feels she just dropped on me...
"I'm sorry! I know I should have first informed you about him yesterday night when I came to you. Just that he's... He's a..." She stammers as she wipes the fresh tears streaming down her eyes "He's a rogue! I found my mate and he's a rogue." She says in a tiny voice, sniffing and wiping more tears from her eyes.
"I should have told you. I'm sorry I didn't. Just that, how am I supposed to tell people?... How am I supposed to tell you that I found my mate and he's a rogue!? One of the most hateful shifters on earth! How!?...
I just couldn't. And I would have loved to reject him right there where we met but I couldn't either since I don't know his name and family name. So I just figured since I already pledged to be your concubine, what is left is just to make us official. You know, have sex with you and get on with the blood oath... That's what I came to your room to do. I didn't mean to hurt you! I swear it Alpha, I didn't..."
"You couldn't reject him but you could kill him. Why didn't you!?" I cut off her rambling
"Huh?" She says like she didn't hear what I just said
"You heard me so don't pretend like you didn't," I say, point blank.
She looks away from me again
"You are mated to... Let me borrow your words, 'one of the most hateful shifters on earth.' He's despicable! A cold-blooded killer that you just witnessed biting and filling your Beta with venom! A murderer who has killed people from this pack. If I remember correctly, your mother lost three of her warriors to this bastard. No?" I ask with my head cocks aside in a wandering manner
"Since there was no way for you to reject him, my question is, why didn't you kill him?... You had a gun and a perfect opportunity to blow this bastard's fucking head off. To rid the world of this scum of the earth yet you didn't take it! Why Victoria!?" I snap
"I... I– I... I don't know!... I couldn't! I– I don't know why I couldn't do it!" She wails
"You couldn't do it, so you let him get away!" I shout. Banging hard on the mahogany table between us.
She flinches away, looking like she wants to run for the door.
"I couldn't, alright!... I wish I could... I wanted to but I just couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger! I couldn't kill him despite the fact that he was a murderer that killed my friends. God, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" She sobs
My eyes soften. I take a deep breath in, forcing myself to calm down. I also wait for her to put her emotions under control before I continue speaking
"I understand..." I say and her head snaps up to look at me. Her eyes widen with surprise. She can't believe that I'll understand her predicament.
"He wouldn't be your true mate if you were able to easily kill him. What I don't understand is, since you've already fallen in love with him as your mate then..."
"Uhm, no!" She exclaims. Looking aghast at my choice of words.
"I'm sorry Alpha, but I never claimed to love him!"
I arch a brow at her
"I must have been stupid then, right!?" I say sarcastically.
She looks away. Her countenance looks stormy. She strongly disagrees with me, refusing to accept the truth but it is what it is.
"You don't have to agree with me. All I know is, you couldn't kill him because something in you stirred for him. What I don't understand for the life of me is how you can feel so strongly about your mate and still come to another man for sex!?"
She exhales
"The fact that I can't kill him doesn't automatically mean I want to be with him, Alpha!"
"Oh! You would rather pitch us against each other then? Is that it? You want to kill two birds with one stone?"
"No! Pitch you against him!? Why would I want to do that!?"
"I don't know! Why don't you tell me! Why don't you explain to me why you come to me for sex when you're already mated to another Alpha!?"
Her eyes first widen with disbelief before frowning with concentration. She opens her mouth to talk but no words come out of it.
"What!?..." I coldly ask and chuckle. Are you surprised that I found out? You wanted him to declare war on my pack because you think he's powerful enough to kill me? Is that it?"
"What? No! For god's sake, I don't know what you're talking about!... You said he's Alpha?... " She asks, looking surprised. "How is that possible!? How can an Alpha be a rogue!?" She looks at me pleadingly as she asks but I have no answer to her questions.
Right then, I realized she really has no idea of his status
"Alpha, I swear to you that I didn't know!"
"You didn't know!? He has deep red eyes! How could you not have known!?" I ask hypocritically as if I would have known the difference from watching the CCTV if it wasn't for Eric who pointed out the truth to me.
"But I thought his red eyes were a result of him being mixed blood! I didn't..."
"What?..." I chuckle in disbelief at the way she described him.
"Did you just call him mixed blood?... Really?"
A vampire plus werewolf creature is an abomination in society. That was why vampire and werewolf mating was forbidden a long time ago and here she is, calling him a mixed-blood instead of a hybrid that his kind is called.
She can lie to herself all she wants. She might not realize it yet but she's already making excuses and defending him as a true mate should.
She has gone back to looking away from me but it doesn't matter. I'm done with the topic anyway so I changed the subject.
"Tomorrow, I'll be on trial for the murder of my father and your father, aren't you excited for me to be found guilty and sentenced to death!? I ask and she looks at me as if I'm going out of my mind
"Why would I be excited? You already told me you didn't kill them."
"Well, I am excited. You should know that I'm giddy with excitement about a lot of things, not just the trial alone." I say, smiling at the thought of my mate.
"You may leave. We'll talk about you and your mate after the trial" I say and get up from my seat. I still have the appointment with Alpha Nate and I wonder which time it's scheduled for and why Eric has not called to remind me
"There's nothing to talk about Alpha! I don't see him as my mate and I'm prepared to reject him the moment I find out his name and family name! I can't and will never be with such a person!"
"Good luck with that!" I reply as I stand and walk out of the room. My mind automatically reverts to thinking about Ash, my mate.