"You're not a sorcerer?" I ask with surprise "But Martha said you are, and she would never lie to me!"
"Yes, but my young cousin is always getting things mixed up. I'm a witch, not a sorcerer. There's a difference between the two
"Oh, you're a witch!? - Wait, did you just say your young cousin? That must be a slip of tongue, you meant to say older cousin, didn't you?"
She chuckles
"What do you think? Am I the older or younger cousin?"
"Isn't that obvious enough?"
"Yes, it is. It must have been a slip of tongue then"
It must have been a slip of tongue or it is a slip of tongue? I wonder. She certainly sounds like she's teasing me which is surprising since I've never heard anyone say good things about witches. I heard they make use of magic or supernatural powers to harm or manipulate others into doing their will.
"I'm sorry but aren't witches supposed to be... You know... I thought witches are evil! I heard they sacrifice innocent people especially kids for their own wicked deeds!" I couldn't stop myself from asking
She laughs
"You thought and heard wrong dear. Of course, witches and sorcerers both make use of spells and magic to practice. Witches and wizards are born with the powers while anybody can become a sorcerer if they know the right spell to use. Witchcraft is associated with good intentions while sorcerers and sorcery are for the opposite, so there's a whole world of difference between us."
"I see..." I say with a nod but in actual fact, I didn't see anything. She didn't manage to successfully convince me about the goodness of witchcraft. She only added sorcerers and sorcery to my growing list of bad people on earth
"Okay!..." She says and shrugs. I guess she suspected I wasn't really convinced and I'm glad she decided to move on with why I came to see her and not try to explain any further.
"So Martha said you have questions about your wolf. What would you like to know? I'm not sure I understand what she meant when she said your wolf is different from others. How is your wolf different?... Maybe you should tell me from the beginning. About your parents I mean..."
"I was adopted. I don't know anything about my real parents and..."
"Yeah, Martha already told me that part. Tell me about your parents that raised you. They had you from when you were a baby, yeah?... I want to know, is there anything they've ever told you was different about you when you were a baby?... Sorry, I believe the right choice of word is pup right?"
"Yes" I reply and she nods
"Great! So when you were much younger did they tell you something sets you apart or anything that makes you different from other pups?"
"No! They'd never said anything to me about being different from other pups while growing up. Well, except for when they nicknamed me 'freak' because I didn't get my wolf at the right age that others got theirs...
And they didn't really raise me. As far back as I can remember, they didn't do much raising, I raised myself! The only thing my supposed mom was concerned and cared about up until yesterday when she kicked me out was my hair. She always wanted to keep my hair short and dyed brunette like hers, said she wanted me to look like her since Kent, my brother looks like dad.
"Hmm...." Lilly knowingly says and chuckles "Now I understand... Please continue. When did you get your wolf and how could you tell she's different?"
"I'm a late bloomer. The normal shifting age for shifters is between fifteen to sixteen, some shift earlier but never later than sixteen. I shifted yesterday morning, a few days to my eighteenth birthday."
"How could you now tell your wolf is different? Why don't you describe to me what she looks like."
"I don't have an actual wolf like all the shifters that I know. I shifted into something that looks like a monster. She's like half-human, half-wolf. You know, like I was not quite there before I got stuck in between the process of shifting kinda situation...
She stood tall, about eight feet, if not more, with long sharp claws and a hairy body. She walks on two legs like a human instead of on all fours like a real wolf should and I think she's stronger than a wolf... Are you getting my description?"
"Crystal ..." She replies looking straight into my eyes. For some seconds her eyes drill into mine. It feels as if she's looking into my soul until I'm becoming uncomfortable and lowers my gaze first.
"I know what you are... But I am sorry I won't be able to help you."
My brows shot up by her declaration and she hurriedly adds "It is not my place to reveal that secret to you."
I am surprised by her words. As we look into each other's eyes, I see finality in hers and I realize no amount of pleading will change her mind to helping me. I became disappointed and angry.
"Thanks for nothing then!" I snap in annoyance as I stand from the swing chair to leave.
I know I sounded like an ungrateful, spiteful bitch and shouldn't have talked to her like that, especially when she agreed to see me at this odd hour. Just that I'm scared. Scared of not knowing what or who I am. Not knowing what I'm capable of doing or if I pose danger to people around me!?
Despite having the answers to all these questions that bother me, how could she have still chosen not to help me!? It is disheartening to me to know I came many miles to see her and it's all for nothing!
"Wait!..." Her voice stops me mid-strides and I hopefully turn back towards her, thinking maybe she had a change of mind about helping me.
"Please understand that I have good reasons for my decision. The truth is... You're more than a shifter and I'm sorry that I cannot tell you more than that about yourself. Telling you will only make things worse for you and your purpose in life. Telling you will cause you to deviate from who you really are. It will upset the balance of nature that you came to earth to restore. I hope you understand me?"
I look at her critically as she talks wondering if she has suddenly gone crazy. What exactly is she talking about 'purpose in life' and 'balance of nature?'
'What the fucking hell are you talking about?" I ask, throwing my hands up in frustration
"You might not understand me now but you will in the future..."
"I might not understand what exactly because you aren't making sense at all!" I say with frustration
"Your wolf is not ordinary, and she is not late..." She firmly says, "It is you who isn't prepared to accept her. She's not supposed to come to you at all until you're ready for her! You said the normal shifting age is fifteen, your wolf would have come to you even when you were just ten years old if your human body was made ready to accommodate her but you weren't."
She talks with so much frustration, I ask myself why she's that worked up about my wolf when she was adamant about not helping me. I came to her for answers that she refused to give so what's with the frustration!?' I wonder as she talks.
"She wouldn't have come to you if you had not been in danger and she needed to save your life. You wouldn't have had a wolf at all because clearly, you're far from being ready to accommodate her!" She said the word 'clearly' with her eyes running all over me like she was assessing if I'm truly worthy or not.
She stands from her seat and walks to a plant behind her, plucks out three leaves which she crushes and rubs all over her hands before walking towards me. When she hold my two hands in hers, I feel my body spasm all over as some kind of current that came from her hands run through me. Then I feel my wolf's eyes flash for a second in their sockets...
"If she's with her real parents, they would have prepared her for you in advance Goddess Sif, I apologized on her behalf."
I'm at a loss for words when she suddenly changes to a third-person pronoun, addressing me as if I'm not there. I look back to see if there was somebody behind me that she might be talking to but nobody was in the garden except us.
"Goddess!? What in God's name are you talking about!? Who are you referring to as Goddess Sif!?... I came for an answer, thinking you could actually help me but instead, you've only managed to confuse me more!..."