Thor's POV
"Feral!?" I shockingly repeat out loud.
'Feral' The word every shifter doesn't want associate with them unless you want to get locked up in heavy silver chains inside a council dungeon
"What the fuck are you talking about? Why will I be going feral?" I ask in disbelief. My eyes look from Eric to Ivar and then back to Eric again.
'They can't be serious.' I think to myself as I frantically look around the room for a mirror to confirm their words. Of course, I know they will never yank my chain with something as crazy as me going feral but I still had to see for myself. I don't see any mirror in side the office so I set out to search for their toilet, closely followed by Eric and Ivar. Bear abandoned where he stood guarding the door to also follow behind us.
Right there inside the lady's room, I finally confirm what I already suspected to be true to myself. My right eye; pupil, iris, and sclera, are pitch black like it belongs to a demon while the other is deep red like an Alpha's.
I questioningly look at Eric and Ivar who also enter the bathroom with me. I don't need to say anything but they understand
"Why is this happening to me again?" I finally ask through the mirror after almost staring holes through them but they have no answer for me.
Yes, I've been feral before. I became feral after the death of our parents. I was in a wild state. I was ferocious and brutal. I would be calm one moment and raging mad the next, not recognizing anyone around me but Eric.
It was in my feral state that I almost beat my martial art coach to death with my bare hands. That was why nobody could hold me down. Not even my all-powerful uncle. If I was that terrorizing as a kid, what would my adult feral state be like?...
The answer to my question scares me. Not because of myself but because of the people around me. My mate especially. What if I end up hurting her in my feral state? Killing her! The thought of hurting Ash sickened me to the pit of my stomach. Pain is some kind of physical wake-up call so I want to hurt myself so bad. Maybe if I hit my head on the wall hard enough my freezing brain will thaw and I'll remember.
Henrik chose that moment to return. Of course, he returned empty-handed. Now I know he left to avoid poking the bear, so to speak. Knowing I'm going feral, he had no intention of getting any alcoholic drink for me. I would have loved to hear the excuse he want to give for coming back empty handed but I have a more important situation on my hand.
"Why aren't you answering my question, hmm?..." I slowly turn around from the mirror to face them. "Why is this happening to me again, Eric?..." I call Eric's name but I look at each one of their faces.
"See, I've been having this strange feeling since after the duel..." I say with my eyes focused on only Eric this time. "Something definitely is not right with me here..." I point at my temple before closing my eyes in frustration.
"I am going feral because of something. Something very important but... I don't know what it is! I can't for the life of me remember what the 'something' is! I know it's there but still, not there!... So what is it?" I calmly ask but get no reply from them still.
"Fucking answer my question!" I suddenly growl out loud while driving my fist into the large mirror on the bathroom wall, making glass shards fall around my feet.
My blood drips freely but it feels so good. I see myself on the part of the mirror that is still hanging on the wall and see my left eye flickering between black and red.
My sudden move on the mirror startles them but they're not surprised. They'd seen me go over the edge before so they knew what to expect
"C'mon, man. Try to control yourself" Eric says as if he has ever seen a feral shifter be in control of their senses
"But I can't! Why don't you understand and tell me what I want to know... I know quite well that you, no, all four of you know why I'm going crazy, except for me who is going crazy... Isn't that crazy?" I ask and start to laugh. I laugh so hard till I suddenly put my foot through one of the toilet stall doors, breaking it into pieces.
"General!" Henrik and Ivar say at once but there's no stopping me
I go inside the toilet, rip the cistern off the wall, and crash it over the remaining part of the mirror that is still hanging on the wall. A broken piece of the tank fly back and cut me across the face. It's a deep gash, bleeding profusely but I don't care. The pain is not affecting me yet. Not strong enough to give the desired effect. I start to pace again with frustration, my eyes darting around the place to see what more damage I can wreck.
I catch my reflection in some part of the mirror that is still hanging on the wall. I look insane. My hair is hanging around my face like a wild man. My blood drips everywhere and water sprayed me from the broken tap inside the toilet.
"Thor!..." Eric growls out in frustration. "C'mon man, please!" He says, making me wonder...
Does he think I'm doing this deliberately? How do I make him understand that I'm venting my anger to prevent myself from hurting them? He doesn't understand that I'm going insane. That I'm in pain. Not the physical pain from my injuries but the emotional kind that stems from my brain, the emotional pains that I can't find words to perfectly describe
"Tell me what I want to know Eric! Something is making me go feral! What is it!? Unless you want me to completely go out of control then you'll tell me what the thing is."
He shakes his head
"I can't man! I wish I could but I can't" he replies in resignation
"Why? Why can't you?" I ask without pausing from my pacing to look at him. I can't stay put. I'm strung too tightly to be able to relax.
"Because according to the seer, this is a phase that will surely pass. I know it's difficult, brother but It's important that you bear it and learn to live through it for now. Otherwise, that very important something that you so much want to know about might end up being taken away from you forever. Do you understand me, man? Please!" He pleads but I only look back at him, thinking about his words inside my head
"The Beta and best friend duties that you joked about?— Is it related to it?" I ask with a frown
"Yes..." He replies with a nod. "We might not understand the way you're feeling right now but I want you to trust us and bear with this discomfort for a little while longer. It's very important that you bear it. Will that be possible? Will you be able to do that?" He asks, his eyes doubtful as they search mine.
"I'll try"
He sighs with relief
"Okay... Your wounds are healing already. Right now, we need to get you in bed," He says. "Ivar, call Ella. Tell her to get some dried valerian root and magnolia bark ready..." Eric is saying when Henrik interrupts
"No need to call Ella, I already got them. It's in the car." He says looking apologetically at me.
"Oh— That's the booze you went to get for me, I guess?" I ask with a raised brow.
"I— I didn't mean to disobey your orders, General, I'm sorry. Just that taking alcohol would only worsen your feral state. Kill me if you want but I don't regret not getting it... I'm really sorry, sir!"
I nod
"Great speech... But be careful what you wish for next time. Especially when I'm in this state. Who knows, I might just grant your wish." I say and brush past them to walk out of the bathroom