Ash's POV
Eric assured me that my mate will one day return to me but his words aren't assuring enough to stop Sif from howling inside my head for Kane and it certainly isn't assuring enough to stop my heart from painfully aching for Thor.
There's this feeling of emptiness I have inside me that Eric's words of assurance couldn't fill up no matter how genuine they sounded. He told me I shouldn't attempt to see Thor. I can't even call him. He said I should give him a month to sort things out, everything will be back in place by then.
But how am I ever going to last a month when everything I think of is...
'I wonder what he's doing right now
I wonder if he's making love to Miranda right now
I wonder if they're out on a date right now...'
I don't think I'll last a month. I want my mate now. My body, heart, and soul yearned for him. My fervent need to see him makes it impossible for me to function at anything. I haven't stopped crying ever since Eric left. I am miserable to the extent that I start burning up with a fever.
Martha is worried. She wanted us to go to the hospital but I refused. I know my ailment and it transcends medicine. It was when she suggested we go see her cousin, Lilly that my conversation with the witch flashes through my mind. Especially her parting words to me...
'I'll be waiting for you here whenever you're ready to rise and rule alongside Thor... Goddess Sif!'
"Oh, god!" I say and immediately sit up in bed when the realization hits me. Those names meant nothing to me then. The witch's words just make sense now.
'Thor and Goddess Sif.'
The witch knew. She told me but I thought she was crazy. My eyes immediately fill up with tears again.
"What is it?" Martha asks with concern, pulling her chair nearer to my bed.
"Oh, god! Lilly tried to tell me, Martha... I thought she was talking rubbish. I called her crazy! I should have listened! I should have persuaded her more..." I sob as I tell her
Martha stand from the chair to sit on my bed then, holding my hand with hers
"You should have persuaded her about what?" She asks, not understanding my words. "Stop crying, child, please. I'm surprised you still have tears left in your eyes to shed... What did Lilly tell you?... Whatever it is, no point in blaming yourself over that, what is done is done!"
"No, Martha!... If I had listened and insisted she tell me more... She told me my mate's name is Thor. She told me my wolf's name is Sif but instead of listening, I called her delusional and..."
"But you didn't even know! You haven't even met your mate then! You even just found out his name this morning at the arena so why blame yourself for that!? Why blame yourself over what is clearly not your fault!?"
"You don't understand, Martha. My negligence and nonchalant attitude made me lose my mate! I should have asked Lilly more about the names when she mentioned them to me. I should have insisted she at least give me a clue even if she wasn't willing to tell me much. I should have done something instead of returning home like the empty shell I was when I went to see her. I should have..."
"Stop it! It's not all your fault. This is also my fault!" Martha suddenly let out a wail. I pull away from her arms to look at her and see she's also crying.
"Martha?"
"It's not all your fault, child. It's also my fault. As your mother, I should have insisted you tell me everything you both discussed instead of staying mum. Lilly is my cousin, I should have spoken to her myself instead of acting like a stranger. Living you to handle everything by yourself. God, I'm the worst mother ever! I'm not fit to be a mother and I hope you'll forgive me!..."
"Martha, please!" I raise my voice over hers. Our tears pour freely as we look at each other. "Mom– please don't put this on yourself," I beg softly. "You're the best mother any child could ever wish for. Don't blame yourself for this."
"Then stop!..." Her voice is soft but also firm. "Stop blaming yourself because this is also not your fault! Stop crying already! I know it's not easy– you want your mate– but please try... I promise I won't cry anymore if you also promise you won't cry anymore. Please..."
"I'll stop. No more crying!" I say as I hastily clean my tears before moving to hug her close. I just can't bear to see her this way because of me.
I'm glad to see she's smiling when I pull away from our hug. She starts to clean her tears as she talks.
"Eric said everything will be okay in a month and I believe in him. Have faith, Ash. Please have faith."
I smile and nod.
"I will have faith," I tell her
She brings food when it's time for dinner. Even though it feels like I'm chewing on cotton, I smile and force it down for her sake. All I want is my mate, not food. I start to feel like crying again but I comport myself.
"I'll check in on you later," She says as she takes away the used dishes.
I thought she had retired to bed when I didn't see her after a while. I freeze when she suddenly pushes my door open, catching me with tears silently falling down my face while I was looking at the photos of Thor and me that he took after I fell asleep the previous night.
I look at her guiltily. My lips tremble with emotions as I slowly wipe off the wet telltale of my deceit.
"I'm sorry..." I say in a whisper, directing my gaze back to the photo on my phone. I can't bear to look at her and see the hurt in her expression
She moves further inside and sets the tray in her hand on the table. She sits beside me in the bed and removes the phone from my hand to see what I was looking at before raising my face to look at hers.
"I understand..." She surprisingly says with a smile.
"You do?" I ask and she nods
"I never said it's going to be easy... I didn't say you can't think about him... I just want you to think of this situation as if he's on a business trip and will be back in a month... I wish you would just think about the happy moments you both shared together with a smile on your face and not tears... He's coming back to you, baby, believe."
I sigh helplessly and manage to put up a smile on my gloomy face.
"I'll try" I say, smiling.
"I know you will..." She replies and kisses the top of my head.
She stands and moves to the tray
"I brought you tea. It's made from fresh valerian root and Magnolia bark from the garden. It will help you sleep." She says as she pours the tea into a mug.
She hands the mug over to me
"Be careful. Blow on it, it's piping hot."
"Thank you," I reply, smiling at her.
I wrinkle my nose as I bring the cup closer to my face. She sits on the bed beside me again and watches as I blow softly into the cup before taking a sip. The tea surprisingly tastes better than what it smells like. She watches over me as I take sip after sip as if she's afraid I would throw some of it away if she so much as blink.
"Good girl!" She commends me with a satisfactory smile after I finish the tea. She then takes my phone, "You won't be needing this for now," She says and switches it off, opens my bedside drawer and places it inside.
"You're a werewolf so the combination of the two herbs will help you sleep like a baby." She says as she fluffs my pillows before helping me to get back in bed
Valerian root and Magnolia bark. A combination that can put even an elephant to sleep. The combination that finally seals my faith...