"I'm not gonna have a boyfriend again, until I turn 18. I'm sorry, Oliver."
I saw his face turned pale. Oliver has been courting me for a month and just this morning I woke up and realized that I should tell him that he basted.
"Jade, it's just been what? A month?" He said languidly.
I gulped and look around. I could see a few looking at us, in the back of my mind I needed to speed up our conversation.
"I know it's my fault-"
"No, Jade. I understand, really. And trust me I'm willing to wait."
He pleaded and touched my palm. I slowly shook my head and untied his grip.
"I'm really sorry, Oliver. I don't want to give you hopes anymore. Let's just stay as friends."
And that's how I manage to live.
"And what do you want me to do? Make him expect more, Olivia?" I ranted.
We are walking in the oval one bright sunny day.
"No! I'm just saying that you should have not let him court you in the first place. Look at him now, talking shit behind your back."
She nagged.
"I don't care, let him call his battalion."
His grandmother is the school's head administrator. After turning him down, I've been hearing bad humors about me. Oliver allegedly spread the word that I condemned him because I was making them court me all at the same time. Having Aiden as a friend is another thing. So they are even more convinced that what Oliver is spreading is really true.
Although I was very affected by what happened between Erato and me, I still chose to act normally. I'm so used to it to be honest- him, being rude to me.
What I am not used to is that he gives me attention. Instead of realizing that I shouldn't flirt with anyone, I'd rather do it if that's the only thing that can catch his attention.
But I was to ambitious to think about that. I allowed Oliver to flirt for a month, but neither hi nor hello did I hear from him. Of course! Why would I think he might be jealous?
I can only think of that! Even the wise man would not think that. So days have passed by and I'm back to normal. I prefer to focus first on simultaneous school works, and sometimes still hanging out with friends.
"Daddy, I'm going out tonight."
"Take care and bring your body guard with you."
I fell silent and stared at him. Only the sounds of the dishes could be heard on the table. I estimate his movements, I also pay attention to Jax who’s eating now because this is where he stays now.
"Uhm, Daddy?"
He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.
“After my debut, can I stop having body guards?"
He stopped chewing. I pursed my lips and my used my doe eyes while looking at him.
"No."
"But dad!"
"You know what's the reason of this all, Jade. Don't make me mad at petty things. I'm still not over with your brother."
"Oh? Why me again?" My older brother's forehead was furrowed.
They are still arguing about the campaign. Brother still doesn't agree that he is the one who should ran for the election, and took his place.
"If only you would obey me-"
"Obey you? You knew I'm not gonna do some dumb shit things just because you want me to."
"It's a dumb shit thing because you focus too much on things you shouldn't focus into."
"I said I don't want to do it, I'm not doing things I'm gonna regret in the end."
The rattle of tableware I heard before he left. Dad called him but he didn't even looked back. I was silently left on the table.
"Did you see the disobedience your brother is committing? I'm hoping you're better than him, Jade."
Dad said emphatically.
"But dad ..."
"You're insisting? Well then, you're grounded."
I gasped and words didn't come out, he put down the cutlery he was holding and left the table. And I was left alone. It's one of those times when all thoughts just came rushing in. As I stare at the wild table left with no one but myself. I bit my lips and cursed at myself.
"You should have kept your mouth shut Jade." I uttered.
"Good thing you know!" Olivia's teasing.
Since I was grounded for days, I stayed here one day after I realized I was so bored alone at home. Jax is also here but he's busy with whatever the hell he has.
"I just want to experience being independent Olivia. I've been sheltered since when? I don't even know what it feels like to have my own walk. I always have someone beside me."
She stopped his complicated pose and returned to the lotus position to cool down. While I have not done my yoga routine properly. I'm to engrossed venting out to her.
"Girl, you have to understand. The world is such a scary place to live in, we have no choice. Your father is a governor, many enemies and all. What if something happens to you? You are really independent for life! 6 feet below the ground! "
I stared at her. Because everything she said made sense. I'm just really this big problem.
"Pull your shits together. You should just accept your fate life has given you."
Fate. I used to not believe in that. I used to believe that it's pointless, that we make our own choices and change is the only constant thing in this world. So what's the point in believing in that, when you can change anything, anywhere and any time you wanted?
For me life is always a blank page. Not a novel that has a desired ending. I make my own chapters, and it's my choice whether what circumstances and events will turn out.
Not that I realized what Olivia had told me. Because her head would grow big when she found out that this is how I acted after I talked to her.
I just realize it myself, I should at least apologize to my dad because he's obviously stressed about his own life.