"I can't believe this."
I whispered feeling so high. I licked my lips and touched it afterwards.
He kissed me again. And talking about what he did to entertain Jax just to lose sight on us. I’ve been lying here in the bedroom for hours because I still don’t know how to heap mixed emotions.
I checked his ig story last night and I felt euphoric reading the 'baby' in it. Is it really me or is this one just beating me up? '
And then it did suddenly hit me.
Right, he kisses me whenever he wants to, and I'm still very comfortable there. Knowing his reputations with girls made me suddenly wonder, what even are we?
Are we flings? Just like what we do with others when we're on own or it's just his nature to do so? Because him finally liking me will never be an option. So impossible.
So I am content with whatever he gives me now. I immediately shook my head because I didn’t want to ruin my mixture.
Even if it's not me, the fact that he did tried to flaunt that he'd fulfilled my wish is enough reason to me to feel like this. And of course, the kiss!
The amount of questions I ask myself is endless. What is the real reason why he is here? Did Jax or dad invite him? Or maybe he really has a purpose here in the Visayas? Well, wait a minute.
Why am I even questioning things? Why do I no longer seem to be satisfied with what he gives me? It was never like this before. I should just nurture the moment because events like this are far more from reality.
That's why when I knocked on my door for dinner and a strange chapter of nervousness again I felt.
"Uhm ... where are they?"
I hesitated to ask daddy while at the table. I didn't expect just the two of us to share. I thought brother Jax and Erato will join us, but daddy and I are the only ones here at the seaside to have dinner.
"I don't know, night out maybe?"
"Night out?" I replied quickly to dad.
He nodded softly while still busy eating as I lost interest.
"B-but where?"
Dad looked up at me and I was dumbfounded.
He narrowed his eyes on me.
"I just want to know." I whispered more.
"Maybe from the neighbor resort, I don't really know Jade."
I'm pissed and I don't seem to really know where they are unless I text my brother.
Shocks, he won't reply to me because he doesn't want to include me. I just frowned as I played with the steak on my plate. What if I ask Erato? But-
"I'm the one who sent Erato here."
I didn't even look up at daddy when he spoke.
"Huh?"
He averted his gaze from me.
"I made him come here to have a look at out resort."
My mouth parted and nodded slowly. I don't know why he suddenly opened a topic like this.
"Are you not happy he's here?" He asked.
"Huh?" I was shocked to ask again. The side of his lips rose.
"O-of course, I am." I feel like I'm blushing because of dad's question. When did he even became this supportive when it comes to this part of my life.
"That's good. You have your company here while I'm away."
I don’t know how many more times I’ll be shocked.
"You're leaving?" I wonder the question.
He wiped his lips with the cloth and talked without meeting my eyes.
"I have some important meetings there, I'll be back if I'm free."
"Wait, you'll leave me here?" I protested.
"You don't want to?" His eyes with mine. For some reasons I felt like I get what he just said. Is that why he invited Erato to be here? I averted my gaze from him.
"So he'll baby sit me, right?" I hissed.
"I thought you like him here?"
"Yes. But that doesn't mean that we have to go this way. What will he think dad?"
The chisel seemed to spread through my system. Now I know the real reason why he's here. It's just disappointing that I still know the real reason. I was all assuming that he really came here because he thought I'm wishing him to be here with me. But it's all dad's decision.
"Alright. I'm sorry,"
I sighed looking at my dad.
"I just want you to enjoy the rest of the vacation. Besides, your older brother is still here to look after you."
I carried the weight until dinner was over. I decided not to enter the room first and just enjoy the outdoors. I walked on the shore enjoying the realizing breeze of the night. I could see the little lights in the distance, they seemed to be lights floating in the ocean. I smiled and making myself relax.
"This isn't what I wanted to happen." I uttered.
I have also been here at the resort for a few days. I can't even roam because I don't have anyone with me. I feel like I'm just going to get bored here. This is the downside of being the only child.
That's why I love kids, because it felt lonely being alone. I can’t get why others even get jealous of their siblings. While I'm here hoping to have one. I walked again and trailed the shore, but I didn't realize that I had reached the border of our resort.
I didn't even realize that there were noises not far away. I glanced at my self. I'm wearing a floral beach dress. It's not that maybe it's bad, maybe this outfit is also appropriate for their event.
So without any hesitation and I crossed the border that divides our resort and beyond. The night is awake and so the people. Even though I’m still not socializing my system seems to have come to life with the noise people create. I can't really let go of the night outs. I want to go back to Manila ASAP.