‘This is all what I can offer.’
That was just the stuff of my mind the whole time I was meditating on the beach. Nothing much happened throughout the day. I slept in my room because their group is out of sight.
That’s also good because I also don’t know how I’m going to deal with Erato after what happened to the two of us. And one more thing, I am not feeling so well because I think my time of the month is coming. My breasts are sore and so I think I'm ovulating.
The next day the same process happened. The only difference is that I acted with them first. I was already on the beach when they gathered in the hall for breakfast, so I didn't even know if they were still with Erato or what. I sighed hard and reached for my phone after. I fell asleep after I soaked and now that is the content of my mind again.
"Jade," she opened.
"Hi."
"What's the matter?" she asked with a bedroom voice.
"I miss you," I pouted.
"God Jade, it's been just two goddamn weeks. Stop calling me, it's so cold! I want to sleep more." I blushed as I suppressed a playful smile.
“Don’t go back soon. ” I smirked.
The other line is quiet, to the point that I have to check the screen if she's still on.
"Spill it." she said briefly.
It was as if I was tickled by his ability to know that I had some event in my life that he needed to know.
"Just ..." I couldn't continue to say because I saw Erato's figure pass by the lounger I was lying on.
His bold body caught my whole attention. He walked straight into the water to dive into it. My heart beat went wild seeing him. When will I get used to the presence of this one?
"... life, Olivia. I'm living my life." I said nothing to myself.
"Really? You just called and messed my sleep just to say you're living your life on that hot ass beach while I'm in this freezing cold country? Fvck you and good bye!"
Instead of being annoyed by her sudden killing of the call, I was not even stunned by Erato. His silhouette fit so well with the breath taking scenery. As the sun was shining, he was glowing in my eyes. I bit my lip unconsciously.
Damn. That is life, right there.
Almost half of my life has been attached to him. If he had no idea about that and my feelings are all nothing for him, it is not his fault. Though, I'm really not blaming him nor myself, it's just that I have no regrets.
I've been hurt by him in all possible ways without him knowing but never did I blame him for all of those pain. I can’t count the times I looked stupid for him. I may not be the obvious type but rather than feeling the embarrassment from others I feel more humiliated knowing how embarrassing I am.
It's embarrassing and embarrassing to know for yourself that you have to go through everything just to be able to include yourself in his life. I decided to like him, so it is my decision too to be responsible of the consequences of that feeling.
And for me, it's all worth it. If it's him, then it's all worth it. In all honesty, I couldn't think of anything else but him. It doesn’t matter anything or anyone, cause and effect don’t matter. What's important for me is him, not even myself is worthwhile.
"Jade!" My sentiments were interrupt when someone called my name.
I turned to Ali, I could not answer him because of the noise following him. Maybe they'll take a bath together.
"Let's go! Burn more skin, come on!" Ali was with me, while his friends had already sailed the sea.
My eye even caught Erato who was shoulder high and low because of the ascent from the dive.
"Uh- yeah! I'll just put some sun block." I smiled politely.
I reached for the sunscreen tube to start rubbing on my body.
"How are you feeling by the way? You drank so much last-last night. I didn't know you're a hard one," he teased.
I smirked. I was shaken while rubbing my thigh. He's standing in front of me while I face him.
"I didn't drink that much though. No hang over at all." I said proudly.
"Wow!" he laughed, I also barely laughed.
"Go on, I'll be right next." I said, because he didn't seem to have any intention of leaving in front of me.
"You want me to help you?" he asked me. He was referring to my placement of the sun screen.
I smiled politely. "Uh, no. I'm good."
"Come on! You're missing some parts here."
I gasped a little when he snatched my sunscreen on my hands and went to my back so he can do it himself. My lips parted in shock. But not just because of that. I can almost see the flame in Erato's eyes when he caught us in our position.
Ali was saying something else behind me as his palm touched my skin but I couldn't imagine it. My attention was focused only on him. I saw how he threw the ball that a friend passed him. It slapped him but he didn't even turn it around because his eyes were still on me.
"U-uh, I think I'm all good Ali,"
I quickly snatched the sunblock from him. He just shrugged and invited me again before leaving and paddling. I gulped while looking at Erato. He looked sharply at Ali unconsciously.
My knees weaken as I see him rising out of the water. He trailed on my direction while I was almost bleeding at the sight of him. I thought he would stop in front of me, my mouth parted when he just passed by me.
He walks straight while his body is elegant and distracting, I think towards the villa.
"Erato," I called him. He didn't even look at me.
I didn't follow him on my own and I even left my belongings there on the sun lounger.
"Erato!" I shouted when he arrived at the villa.