Viviane
I knew this would be the time to tell what had been worrying me and keeping me awake the last few days, but I couldn't. I looked at Felipe and I was afraid of what he might say when he found out I could be pregnant.
I was desperate and if so, I had no idea what to do.
We always take precautions and I had an appointment with my gynecologist to request a contraceptive for me. We talked about it and made that decision. A child was out of the question in our relationship.
" I'm just tense, I think it's due to a situation that Julia is going through and that messed with me a lot”.
I told a half-truth. Julia was really in a situation very similar to mine, as she ended up falling for Max's chat and the two ended up meeting again, but without remembering to use any protection, and now she was terrified of the possibility of a pregnancy.
She had taken the morning-after pill, but almost twenty-four hours after intercourse. Now she was waiting to spend a few more days to have a blood test and then be sure if her irresponsibility had resulted in a pregnancy or not.
I hadn't confessed to her that I was also going through something similar, because in fact it had been more than ten days late and I still hadn't had the courage to take an exam.
" What happened to Julia? Can I know?”
" It's something very intimate, I can't tell you .." I said undecided " It's something very personal and I believe she wouldn't want me to talk to anyone.”
Maybe I could see what his reaction would be and I would already know more or less what to expect, in case my situation was confirmed as a pregnancy..., but I soon realized how much of a coward I was being and confirmed the words I had said.
" I understood.”
" I'm going home, trying to get some rest. These last few days I've been looking for an internship and it's left me a little physically worn out. Not to mention the emotional.”
" Why didn't you talk to Daddy? He can get you easily. You know you can always count on him.”
With him yes, but with you never... I thought sadly. I was João Felipe's dirty little secret and he would never take me out publicly.
" I'll think about it, although I don't know how I could fit into a company like Mendes de Albuquerque, since my degree is in Social Work " I looked at him carefully, to confirm if I was just imagining things, or what Felipe hadn't even paid attention to such basic information about me.
" Do not look at me that way! I know what your course is. I was just trying to help. But you're right about not having a role for you in our company, but Dad could talk to some partners.”
" You're right. Now, let me go... all right?”
I didn't tell him that I had gotten a very good opportunity at a foundation that offered sports to low-income children. It was a very prestigious institution and I was very happy until I realized that my cycle was late and I began to analyze my possibilities in the face of a positive result.
He still held onto my arm and released it slowly. But he was soon holding me by both sides of my face and kissing me desperately.
" I don't want you to leave here upset with me.”
" I'm not.”
I'm sad with myself for accepting so little from someone.
" I'm really crazy about you and I'm very satisfied with what we have. Believe me," she asked.
"I know you are," I said, trying to hide the sarcasm.
After kissing me once more, João Felipe released me and I went back and gave him another kiss, to reassure him. This still wouldn't be our goodbye. But it was very close to the end of that relationship that had already begun doomed to failure.
João Felipe
Viviane had been acting strange since our disagreement in the apartment on Friday. We didn't see each other during the weekend, as she claimed the most varied excuses for us not to meet.
I ended up going out with my friends on Saturday. It was Alicia and Nicolas's birthday, and Henrique and I ended up agreeing to attend, after much insistence on her part. We had returned to the same friendship as before I went to live in the United States and it didn't seem like we had been apart for so many years, as it was the same camaraderie as always.
Ricardo was a little further away from us, always traveling for work, but he also attended Alicia's party.
I tried to have fun and despite the pleasant company of my friends, which made up for the birthday girl's nonsense and excesses, I couldn't stop thinking about Viviane and I would rather be with her in our apartment than at that party.
But the moments that we could spend the night together in the last month were rare since there was no way to justify these absences without involving several people in our lives, which was something I preferred not to risk at all.
Nobody knew about our involvement and I preferred it that way.
" João Felipe, you have that passionate face that is ridiculous in any self-respecting man," Henrique said. " Don't follow Nicolas's example, who is going to get married and abandon the wonderful single life.”
" Are you really going to marry Bruna?” I asked, surprised.
" Next month " he just said, but he didn't look like a happy man. Just conformed.
"It's no use trying to get him to change his mind. I've already given up" Henrique continued.
Concluded that I would follow his advice. Everyone knows what is best for himself.
"I won't change my mind," he said resolutely.
Faced with his very definitive words, I decided to change the subject and as soon as possible, I would leave. I wasn't in the mood for parties.
" I'll stay with the brunette, and you? " Henrique said and discreetly pointed to two very beautiful women who were at a neighboring table and I noticed that they didn't take their eyes off us.
" So enjoy your night. I'm leaving.”
" You can only be in love to dismiss a woman like that, that way.”
I paid no attention to my childhood friend and just waved at the two brothers, heading toward the exit.