João Felipe
My parents had called me in the afternoon, informing me that they were already in my apartment and that the trip had been smooth. Despite missing them, I had to complete some deals before I could go home to see them.
As soon as I walked in, just because of the climate of the place, I could feel like I wasn't alone and that feeling of coming home and meeting my family was really good and I had no idea how much I missed it.
"Good night, son!" Soon my father got up from the couch where he was when I arrived and hugged me" I was missing my son very much. ''
He released me from his embrace and looked at me as if assessing my appearance. Before his gaze of displeasure and before he could say anything, I stepped forward and asked for Mom.
"He's resting in the room. The trip made her quite tired. ''
" But Mom always made these trips and when she got here she was already getting ready to go out and do her dear shopping " I was surprised.
"Your mother is no longer so young, son. We need to talk and I think it's even better that she is not present, so as not to wear her down even more. ''
"How so? Is she sick? ''
"Let's sit down, it's better. ''
I was going to say I'd rather stand, but at my father's commanding gaze, I thought it best to heed his request, and after putting my work bag on top of a sideboard, I sat in an armchair next to the couch where he was, as he pointed out to me. I understood that I wanted to be very close to me so that I could speak quietly and prevent Mom from eventually hearing our conversation if she woke up.
"How are you, João Felipe? It seems very dejected to me. ''
"I thought we were going to talk about Mom. ''
"You've been very evasive, son. We try to talk to you, but it always seems like we have to rip off any information about your life or your daily routine. Tell me what's the problem. ''
"I have no problem at all, Dad. Whatever you want to know, just ask that I answer. ''
"Then answer my question. ''
"I've already answered. I have no problem at all. Things are going very well in our branch, the deals are being closed in a big way. You should see our balance sheets and projections. ''
He looked at me intently and, after signing tiredly, seemed to give up anything he was going to say and said only:
"I've been following along, yes. ''
I was relieved when he just agreed with my explanation and didn't insist on knowing more about me. I didn't have much to say and some subjects didn't appeal to me, so I preferred to keep avoiding them.
"What about Mommy? ''
"Your mother has gone through a very serious health problem in the last year and I can say that she is still fully recovering. She is fine, but her state of health requires care, as there are still some risks. ''
"How so? What does Mom have? Why didn't they tell me sooner? " I spoke, getting up and walking around the room, restlessly.
"She had breast cancer and has already done all the procedures indicated by the specialist who is following her case. She is cured. But we are still apprehensive about everything your mother went through and worry about her health. ''
I was silent for a moment listening to what my father was saying, absorbing the magnitude of what he was telling me only now, a year later!
"How did my mother go through such a situation when no one told me?" I asked indignantly.
" You were in search of achieving your goals and I did not want me to be an obstacle in your life so minimally planned, João Felipe " My mother entered the room, surprised and my father, because we did not hear any movement denounced that she had woken up and was close to us. ''
"That's absurd, Mom. You would never be considered an obstacle in my life. In no sense! "
I was feeling amazed at the way she put herself. My family was the most important thing in my entire existence. I'd do anything for them.
" Exactly" she spoke serenely, sitting elegantly in an armchair farther away from us.
My mother had an aristocratic bearing that was natural to her personality, but I noticed that she was different. It was something I'd been noticing for a long time, but I didn't know exactly what the change was, by looking at it, I could see that it wasn't just an impression of mine.
"I didn't want you to fail to accomplish your goals, João Felipe You always made it clear that when you finished the courses you intended, you would install the Mendes branch here in New York and intended to show your full business potential. I didn't want to mess you up and everything came to fruition as planned. We are happy and proud of you, dear. ''
"But I could postpone my plans after all. I could never have put my mother second in my life," I said unhappily that I had been set apart from such a delicate moment in my family's life.
"The important thing, my son, is that you have managed to accomplish what you wanted and our branch is a success. We are doing much bigger deals than what we used to do before you joined our board and the balance sheets do not negate your great talent. ''
"While my mother was facing a problem of this magnitude! ''
" Your father and João Pedro were with me the whole time," she spoke calmly.
" I also wish I had been " more grumbled than I said.
My parents told me better about my mother's struggle to cure breast cancer and the whole battle during the period she had to have radiation therapy, as well as the emotional strain from the removal of the breast and the subsequent reconstruction she underwent.
" To think that my mother went through all this and did not want one of her children by her side, in such an exhausting moment, made me doubt her love for me, you know, Mrs. Marta?" I said, partly jokingly to alleviate the heavy mood that had settled in the living room of our apartment, but partly because it was more or less what I was feeling.
"Son, never doubt my love for you. But it was in the name of the love I feel for my children that I let him fulfill his wishes first and do what he always planned for himself, before deciding what he wants to do next, and who knows, perhaps, come home and stay with us longer. ''
Although I could not yet accept what they had done, after my mother's words, I took a better look at my actions and felt that I was the one to convey this image that they had of me and that I needed to try to change the way my parents saw me.
"I need to ask you for forgiveness, Mom. ''
"But why, son? There's no reason for that," my mother said.
"Your mother is right, João Felipe It was her decision and you didn't do anything wrong" My father agreed with my mother's position.
"Yes, because if you thought there was something in this world that was more important than being by your side in a time as delicate as what you went through, then it's my fault, that I let you think that way. ''
I walked over to her and took her delicate hand, silently asking her to get up so I could hug her tightly.
Being there cuddled with my mother, thinking about what she had been through while I was just living for work, trying to prove something I didn't even know what it was anymore, showed me how much I missed the affection of my family. My father also got up and hugged us, and at that moment I immediately remembered my brother and felt the tightness in my chest again.
I was longing to talk to João Pedro. He missed our camaraderie, our sibling banter. We've always been so close-knit and because of Viviane, we ended up moving away that way.
I felt like I was very wrong in that whole story.