Chapter 200. 5,637 Regrets (6)
Why do people fight?
A simple question, and everyone will give the right answer.
Limited resources and a clash of interests.
A difference in beliefs.
Emotions like anger and jealousy.
A desire for revenge from a previous fight.
An evil nature or a good sense of justice that opposes it.
And so on.
Perhaps it's not just one of these, but several reasons.
If we were to delve into the origins anthropologically, beyond the individual, we would have to call in not just philosophers or diplomats, but theologians or historians who study ancient myths.
It is said that the first murder, where Cain killed Abel, stemmed from jealousy at not being chosen by God.
However, the reason why an ordinary person like me, who is far from a hero in a legend, fights with his life on the line is simpler than that.
Because I want to protect.
***
“Keoheok…!”
Blood and pieces of internal organs pouring out of my mouth.
Breath catching in my throat.
A violently pulsating heart.
Blurring vision and a consciousness sinking into the abyss.
<Why.>
Although I've experienced it countless times, it's a premonition of death that I can't get used to.
The front line, which had been slowly pushed back without using the decisive card of [The Warrior's Binding], finally ended in the defeat of the Empire and its allies after a fierce battle lasting three weeks.
On the ruins of the Imperial Capital.
The Emperor's limbs were torn apart, Tribus was burned by Lumer's solar secret art, and the main body, Count Ash, is buried in the debris with his back broken.
I, my soul form, have also collapsed on the spot, spitting blood.
That's right.
This time, too, the God of War has won.
However, he neither smiled arrogantly as before, nor did he strike me down with his palm like swatting a bug.
<Why? How? What's your scheme?>
Instead, he just repeats a question that has no answer with a trembling voice, as if having a fit.
<It was your victory. It was clearly a fight you would win. Why on earth did you give up winning?>
“……Kuluck.”
<It was your one and only chance to usurp the divine throne and take revenge on me. What were you thinking? What kind of judgment was that? Why? Why? How?>
I understand.
He must be anxious.
Because nothing instills more fear in a human than the incomprehensible.
In the end, even though he has seized the divine throne and is war itself, he is also a being who originated from a mere human.
It means he is far from the omniscience and omnipotence people usually think of.
<Answer me! Don't die, give me an answer!>
“Heh, heheh……”
It is a rare sight to see a being larger than a planet stamping his feet.
Even that is only for a moment.
Feeling his roar that shakes the soul, I slowly close my eyes.
[[The Warrior's Regret] is deployed.]
Before long, time stops just before death, and I am given a moment of respite again.
“And so the 3,841st battle has ended.”
The me of the first playthrough, the Warrior, who has now become familiar, approached, rubbing his nose with his finger.
“Rest up.”
‘Hyaaaam.’
I let out a long yawn and stretched my tensed body comfortably.
My body isn't actually moving.
Because time is stopped.
Still, just the thought of it gives me a lot of mental leeway.
I'll have to go back soon.
What should we talk about in the meantime.
It's boring to just zone out during a break.
And it's just the two of us whose consciousness is moving in this stopped space-time.
“No questions?”
‘Nope.’
In fact, I learned everything I needed to know a long time ago.
He doesn't seem to have any more information he wants to convey either.
Of course, he knows more, but most of his knowledge was accumulated as the God of War.
No matter what else he tells me, my cognitive ability, which has not escaped the 'human framework,' will not be able to reach that knowledge anyway.
So the conversations after the 500th battle were all repetitions of what we had talked about before, or trivial chats that came to mind at the time.
Although it was usually him who started the topic or asked the questions.
What did pizza taste like.
What did you call the plastic information label on a PET bottle.
Was there a woman you liked in the world.
Or what was the monthly rent, they were all trivial topics.
“Oh, right.”
‘Why?’
“What was your sister's name? I can't remember.”
‘Jina. Yoo Jina.’
“Ah, right.”
He nodded his head.
I was a little surprised.
To think he'd even forget his sister's name.
No, is that natural?
Because even for me, it's now a distant memory.
It's been almost a decade since I fell into this land.
How is it for him.
“Exactly 45,882,913 years.”
‘You counted that? You crazy bastard.’
“If I hadn't said it properly, you would have said, 'How can you be a god and not even be able to count,' wouldn't you?”
‘How did you know?’
“Because you cursed me exactly like that, without a single word changed, when the 2,019th battle ended.”
He chuckled.
In fact, it's a joke we've repeated dozens of times already.
Was he starved for human contact for so long?
He always laughed happily at such silly jokes.
“Haaa……”
And then, each time, he would let out a long exhale and look up at the ceiling of the huge room filled with darkness.
“A lot of time has passed.”
He, who sometimes seems to see a giant being, once again lets out a complaint.
“Deciding not to go back. Maybe I did it even knowing what would happen. Because I thought reality was that shitty back then.”
‘It was shitty.’
“My Achilles tendon didn't heal properly and became completely messed up. My mom and dad were dead. My sister, right, Jina was also in a coma. Is Jina doing well?”
‘She's doing well. Though she's unconscious.’
“I see.”
Hoo.
He sighed.
I think I've heard a similar story dozens of times already, but I have nothing else to do.
It's not like I can't listen to the complaints of a dead person.
Because he is the me of the past.
“I had to experience it to know. The price of choosing endless power. Even if someone had told me that the real me would continue to create new timelines, and that those worlds would be destroyed… well. Honestly, you don't really know what it means for the world to end, right? I was just a kid who hadn't even lived for a thousand years.”
By the way, who was it that said the dead are silent.
Nonsense.
They can't speak because they don't have a mouth, but if they did, wouldn't they be chattering away?
In fact, the Princess of Blood, Hebrun, had said that if you held onto a soul for a while with necromancy, they would pour out everything they had to say without stopping.
For reference, he, the Warrior, is not really here.
He is a fragment of the original that the Warrior buried in his power, [The Warrior's Regret].
Should I call it a kind of clone?
So right now, I'm listening to the complaints of a soul fragment that has lived for millions of years.
“I regretted it. That I shouldn't have started the game. No, at the very least, I should have chosen to go back to my shitty life. I'm a selfish person, but it was hard to watch trillions of lives be annihilated because of me.”
‘I see.’
“But I couldn't turn back my own time. Even though I had the power to peek into all the other timelines. And I couldn't directly cross over to other timelines either.”
One more sigh.
After letting out a long exhale, he dropped his head.
“So I split my power.”
‘…….’
“The main body will probably die. The power of the Sacred Relics is something I gained by becoming the God of War, but I split all the original power I had before that. That is the power of the Warrior.”
‘Didn't you want to live?’
“My world is already destroyed. My comrades are dead, the world has become a wasteland, and the boundary between the spirit world and the material world is collapsing.”
‘I wondered what you meant by destroyed by war, but it's a surprisingly strange way to be destroyed.’
“Yes. Well, since I'm the master of the divine throne, I could survive for another thousand or two thousand years on my own. But is that really living?”
He shook his head.
And looked at me with powerless eyes.
“By the way, why did you quit this time? Because the King-of-Kings, Ungol, died at the beginning?”
‘Yes. Siollus also suffered an irreversible fatal injury. And most importantly, I haven't gathered enough troops to save Kkumteuli and his friends yet.’
“To even try to save the Outer Gods.”
He said with a hollow laugh.
Well, that's how it is.
The reason I abandon the chance to win and repeat the same fight is for no other reason.
Because what I want is not just victory in battle.
‘I promised to save as many of my people as possible.’
I promised in front of Terren's cenotaph.
And the emperor, who has now become another me, vowed in front of the gravestone of his childhood first love.
The psychopath with a broken personality, Tribus….
Let's make him an exception.
Anyway, my current goal is to save as many of my people as possible.
For reference, this 'people' includes not only humans, but also elves, dwarves, other demi-humans, and even the Outer Gods.
‘In a way, the Outer Gods are also guys that 'I' created, right? If the Outer Gods fight among themselves, they could receive a near-fatal blow.’
“They don't really die. They just fall asleep for a few thousand years until they recover. At least they wake up when the timeline changes.”
‘What's the difference between that and dying? To fall into a possibly eternal sleep at the moment when you should be enjoying the joy of victory.’
“Hmm, is that so.”
I know.
That I can't save everyone.
If I have to choose, I would give more weight to one person who is close to me than a hundred people I only know by face.
After all, I am also a selfish human.
Still, if possible, I want to save even one more person.
For that, I am gathering troops.
I glanced over the notification window that I had pushed to a small corner of my vision.
[[Warrior's Binding] is deployed.]
[The defeated enemy has been bound.]
[Pupated Variant (12), Unstable Variant (7)]
[The defeated enemy has been bound.]
[Eastern Heavenly Thunder Gunner (1)]
[The defeated enemy has been bound.]
[Pupated Variant (4), Eastern Grand General (1)]
[The defeated enemy has been…….]
To say it now, the ability that has the most excellent synergy with [The Warrior's Regret] was [The Warrior's Binding].
Because although [Warrior's Insight] cannot reacquire a skill once it has been acquired, this one could acquire the same troop type again and again.
Even if they are completely identical individuals, they are acquired individually.
For example, if there is a 'spearman Kim Cheol-soo from Milun Castle who is in charge of the western front,' you can acquire him in duplicates like spearman Kim Cheol-soo (1), spearman Kim Cheol-soo (2), and so on.
‘It's not even like they're doppelgangers.’
Honestly, I don't know why this is possible.
According to the Warrior, it's because if even their memories are slightly different, they are no different from different individuals.
My thoughts are a little different.
Even if their memories of the battle are slightly different, if their life trajectories are the same, aren't they almost the same person?
“How many times do I have to explain this? Even if you put in the same ingredients, if the mixing ratio changes, they will have completely different properties. Humans are sophisticated compounds where organic matter is fused with soul and memory.”
‘...Who gives a shit.’
“Hah. To think I'm this ignorant, even though I haven't lived for that long. This is why you young people.”
He clicked his tongue.
Well, anyway, if the result is good, then it's good.
As a result of repeating the same battle over three thousand times, I have obtained hundreds of thousands of monster legions and Eastern central army troops.
I could fight a frontal battle with the Eastern Empire expeditionary force several times over.
Even without [The Warrior's Binding], I had almost seized victory.
If I released even 10%, the battle would end at that point.
However, it is still not enough to save everyone.
That's why I am not releasing any and am just accumulating them.
“You're a stubborn one.”
Anyway, this is just 'looking into' the possibility.
Until I want to confirm it as reality, it is just a fleeting dream.
It is heartbreaking to see my comrades and soldiers die every time, but no one is actually dying.
The only one who is having a hard time is me.
It's not an easy task to stay on the battlefield that repeats like a broken record for months, years, or even decades….
“Well, I was that kind of guy when I was young.”
In my school days, how many times did I run the same track over and over without a trait like [Lord's Unyielding Mind].
Perhaps it was thanks to that training that I was able to face the nightmare that repeated every night in this world head-on.
“Still, get ready. You know that the remaining chances are not infinite, right?”
‘Don't worry. I won't try until the very last moment.’
For some reason, it seemed like he wanted to say something more, but time was up.
There will be a chance after the next battle.
He covered my eyes and snapped his fingers.
<I welcome you.>
The 3,842nd battle.
The nightmare-like battlefield I have returned to.
I fight for as long as possible and take as many enemy troops as I can with [The Warrior's Binding].
It should be enough if I gather just a little more.
If I gather just a little more, I can minimize the sacrifices on our side.
To the extent that I can even bind the incarnate body of the Outer God to this land. Outer God to this land.