Nick spent some time down in the quarantine area, where Penelope whatshername—Penelope Ann Montpelier, his augmented brain reminded him—was still stuck in her sick bed. He chatted with her for a few minutes. She seemed like a nice enough kid, but she was much more interested in playing games and learning things with her new HUD. She'd been trained to be polite, though, so if Nick hadn't gotten smarter he might have overstayed his welcome.
He checked on Sana in Sickbay to see if she needed anything. He could have done that with a simple message, and wished that he had, since he ran into her flirting with Jack Smith as she worked. He bowed out politely as quickly as he could. Better you than me, I suspect. Good luck.
He went to the bridge and looked over shoulders and asked questions until Geh!aoa pointedly asked him what he actually needed. He apologized and left.
He considered going to hang out with Alyssa, but that was a stupid idea. If he tried to tag along with Jillian and Brian, he'd be an annoying third wheel. By time he saw Father Mangiano coming his way, he already thought he knew how that conversation was going to go, and changed course.
He was all out of excuses. Time to man up and go back to his quarters. To the cabin that Maggie had insisted on sharing with him, despite the obvious logic that said she should have her own cabin while Nick and Brian shared the other.
She deserves an answer.
The problem was, even with augmented intelligence, he didn't see a good outcome either way. If he said no and broke her heart, he would have to deal with her pain constantly as she clung to him like an especially stubborn, sarcastic and possibly vengeful limpet. One soon to be much smarter than him, again, and probably able to find a hundred ways to make his life hell until he gave in.
On the other hand, if he could get past his mental block or grip on sanity, take your pick, and start a physical relationship with his best friend, there were a million stories of how that could crash and burn horribly. That alone might be bearable, and a lot of people learned to live with it or at least survive with the scars without killing themselves. But, he and Maggie would be the only two humans for possibly thousands of light-years. When she said that she would be his friend forever even if he dumped her, he had been very close to saying, "Maggie, I've known you for almost twenty years, and that has got to be the absolute dumbest thing you have ever said to me."
Besides, if I let her in, and she figures out that "smarter me" is too annoying to bear...I don't know if I could take that. I mean, I might go all Say Anything on her, but she might see it as stalking. Things don't work out neatly with a Hollywood ending and Happily Ever After. Going on without my best friend, knowing that she hated me, with that...hole...in...everything... Nick shuddered.
It was one thing to miss her, while I was stranded far away and knowing that she'd probably do almost anything to save me. I knew, all those months, that she, and the rest of the gang, were out there, and didn't hate me. But if she ends up hating me, and I'm all alone out here, again, with no one back there even wishing me well...
Nick thought about giving up on everything, but that was unworkable. He was responsible for Petra, and she needed him emotionally, whether anyone believed it or not. The Ooafans needed him—arguably less and less as they formed stronger ties with the Arrurans, but still. There were still...too many things to do, to think seriously about curling up in a depressed lump.
It was still going to suck, when the relationship with Maggie fell apart. Sooner or later, I'll fuck it up.
"Nick?"
Nick startled, and looked up. Father Mangiano was standing in front of him. A flicker of thought replayed the last twenty seconds at 5x speed, and he saw that the priest had changed course to follow him, while he dodged and then stood still in the passageway like an oblivious idiot.
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"I'm sorry, Father. I was lost in..." Everything went rainbow and he heard bullfrogs burping in six-part harmony for a second. Nick blinked away what had mentally dubbed a 'stupidity flashback.' "Sorry again, brain mods. I was saying that I was lost in thought."
"Yes, I could tell. You look quiet upset, Nick."
"Sorry, I don't mean to trouble you." Nick was embarrassed.
Father Mangiano's voice stayed quietly cheerful as he raised two fingers."Two things, Nick. First, meddling when someone is troubled is literally my job. And second, unlike most young men, when you get upset, the consequences are theoretically world-shaking. Worlds-shaking, plural." The priest smiled gently, and he was really good at smiling gently, Nick's augmented brain noticed. "So, I'd very much like to talk with you privately about whatever is troubling you. We can use my cabin, or somewhere else, as you like."
Nick hesitated. "I'm not a believer, Father."
The priest leaned closer and whispered past the back of his hand. "Just between you and me, I'm allowed to talk to people who don't believe. It's in the rulebook." He patted the Bible he always carried.
Nick couldn't help but laugh quietly for a moment. "Father, you're very good at your job."
"Thank you! I've worked hard to become so!"
Nick wasn't able to put up much of a struggle in the face of the charisma of the man twice his age, and found himself shepherded, so to speak, to Father Mangiano's cabin. Nick gave up on worrying about what kind of file the Catholic Church was going to have on him afterwards, especially as he was soon to be out of their reach forever.
So, he talked. He poured out his worries, his background, his whole relationship with Maggie, and the burdens of the situation he found himself in. When he finally ran down, Father Mangiano nodded gravely.
"I believe I understand the circumstances. Your problem is an old and familiar one, that many people have faced over the years. Fortunately, there is a way to get through this successfully, and the Church taught me what to do here. Nick, you have very logically laid out all the things that can go wrong for you both from this point on. The piece you are missing, is considering how things can go right."
Nick grimaced. "I'm not an optimist, Father."
"I figured that out at some point along the way, son," the priest deadpanned.
Nick, you dumbass.
Father Mangiano continued, "The good news is, you don't have to be an optimist. What you do have to be is stubborn, and you told me that you're good at that. Take the dangerous path, and work hard to avoid the pitfalls, and fix things when they break. Yes, you two might be at odds sometimes. In fact, it's a virtual certainty that you'll butt heads many times. But you'll be stuck together, as you've said. Once this ship leaves Earth for good, you're both committed. You need to both agree to work at it, not if it falters, but when it does."
"She said that she was going to be stubborn like that," Nick admitted.
"Good! But, this is too important to leave vague and unsettled. You've got to be clear. You need to talk, and say out loud to each other that you're both going to work at this. Maybe even get a contract written up, because this is that important. After all, you're talking about staying together until death do you part."
Nick stared at the priest for a full four seconds in total silence, as about ten tons of realization slowly slid off an imaginary shelf and landed on him.
Then, he lowered his head and covered his eyes with one hand. "Oh, my fucking God, I am such a dumbass." A moment later, he peeked upward and added, "uh, pardon my Kthufu, Father."
"No problem," the priest said dryly. Nick barely heard him.
She wasn't saying something stupid or foolish.
She was saying her marriage vows.
With the whole problem reframed like that, it only took Nick a minute to make up his mind.
Never thought I'd get married. Never thought I'd be good enough, or trust enough. But if I were going to marry someone...yeah. Maggie's clearly the best choice. And she's going into this with her eyes open. She's willing. She's willing to put up with me...for the rest of...
Nick was suddenly overcome with emotion, and had to wipe his eyes very determinedly. The priest watched him with curiosity and concern. As soon as he got his face under control, he spoke aloud for the priest's benefit.
"Petra, which printer is going to free up first, and when?"
"Printer nine, in eight minutes."
"Good. I need to print an engagement ring." He stood up. "Thank you, Father."
The priest beamed at him. "Congratulations, young man."
"Thanks!" Nick mentally had Petra flick the door control, almost at a run already.
"Petra, which way is Printer nine?"