Chapter 152: Go Investigate Her
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"Last night, I encountered... The Gate of Truth..."
I forced myself to stay calm, burying the intense unease and fear deep inside my heart, and haltingly recounted to Victoria what had happened the night before. I told her: the people from The Gate of Truth had launched a suicide attack on me, blowing their own bodies apart with the Fire of Sin. By that point I had already been slipping in and out of consciousness, and I couldn't remember much of what happened afterward, I just stumbled home in a daze.
That was the only version I could give her.
After finishing, the dread inside me only grew heavier, because I was lying... or rather, hiding things. True, the scene last night had been absolute chaos, the Fire of Sin had set the buildings ablaze, and thick smoke had filled the entire street, which actually made the Death Smoke around me far less noticeable. But I wasn't sure whether anyone had witnessed the whole thing from start to finish. The me from back then... wouldn't have cared about something like that. Deep down, I had been completely indifferent to the idea of "exposing my identity."
But now it was different. I was terrified that some civilian might have seen me wreathed in Death Smoke, terrified to the point of genuine fear. I was afraid someone would report it to Victoria, and she would ask me what it was. I had no way to explain it to her. Victoria was too sharp; she would think of things no one else would, and I... had no real confidence I could fool her.
Victoria said nothing.
She listened in silence for a moment after I finished, then gave me a small, quiet nod. "I see."
Then she stood up and walked toward the bedroom door. That cold, detached reaction actually caught me off guard.
"Victoria..."
Her name slipped out of my mouth on instinct. Victoria paused and turned back, waiting quietly for me to continue.
But I didn't know what to say. After a long hesitation, I could only mutter weakly, "Your hair is a mess..."
"I know." She answered, and her feet began to move again.
I quickly said: "Wait, Cataloma—"
But the moment that name left my lips, Victoria seemed to already know what I was thinking, and immediately cut me off before I could finish.
"Lecter is on it. Rest for now. I'll update you on the progress this afternoon."
I shook my head slightly. "I want to go..."
"Rest."
Slam. The door shut.
Victoria left the bedroom, and the room fell quiet.
I stared blankly up at the ceiling.
...That woman, honestly.
She has absolutely no idea how to consider other people's feelings. She doesn't even know how to be kind to someone... That thing with the medicine, to be honest, startled me a little. It was so unlike something Victoria would do... That's what maids are for, you know? Aren't you always so protective of your own time? Why waste it on something like this.
Victoria... might actually be a little oblivious in certain ways.
Even queens are human, I suppose.
Tick. Tick.
The only sound in the room was the faint rhythm of the clock's hands.
After a while, I shifted to the edge of the bed, slowly climbed out, braced myself against the wall, and staggered, unsteady on my feet, into the bathroom — to take care of an urgent problem.
After changing into a fresh sanitary pad, I crawled back into bed and pulled the blanket over myself like a good girl.
I actually wanted to go to Cataloma, to check on the situation... but my head was spinning, and I had no strength left.
I needed to rest.
Any other day I would've pushed through it! But today...
"Haah—"
I let out a soft breath, and the air that left my lips felt faintly warm.
I felt awful. That long-forgotten feeling of being sick washed over my entire body. I couldn't do anything today... I couldn't do anything...
No.
I was just afraid.
I was afraid of who I had been last night.
I had a perfectly clear memory of it now. I knew exactly what I had been like in that moment, and it was frightening.
But what scared me even more was that, at the time, I hadn't realized how terrifying I was.
It wasn't some so-called "going berserk," turning into a mindless shell that had lost all reason. The me from back then had a perfectly clear head and sharp, coherent thoughts. My memory hadn't been scrambled at all. I knew exactly what I was doing — I had simply given in to the overwhelming urge to destroy that lived somewhere deep in my core. I wanted to kill. Not just the heretics. I had even wanted to kill other people. To kill more. So, so badly.
And that urge... or rather, that emotion, I remembered it vividly, but I had no idea where it had come from. That terrifying, unstoppable impulse erupted from the bottom of my heart without warning, carrying a twisted, all-consuming hatred, and swallowed me whole in an instant.
That bone-deep hatred... it was absolutely, absolutely not something that could have come solely from what happened in the Valen Empire 3 years ago. I had remembered that chapter of the past, and Edward was already dead by now... This hatred was not my own emotion.
Was it the influence of the Abyss... because I had been suppressing myself for too long...
I didn't know. But I was terrified of becoming that again. Truly terrified. I had no idea what to do. This wasn't something I could tell anyone.
There was no one to talk it over with. I could only carry it alone, in silence... Until my body recovered, I didn't dare make any moves.
So for today... I'd leave it to Victoria to worry about. With her around, things should be fine.
I didn't want to think about last night anymore.
But Abel had acted so strangely. He might... have some kind of connection to The Gate of Truth, at least to some degree.
I didn't really believe he was actually one of The Gate of Truth's people. Even though the first time I met him, he was just a petty thief trying to rob me... he wasn't the kind of person who would hurt others. He just wanted to survive. But through what happened last night, I understood, Abel... and the Cataloma Orphanage, must have some connection to The Gate of Truth.
If not, how could a note written by a helpless, lonely child have been exposed? No one would have paid it any attention otherwise.
He must know something... something the heretics don't want me to know.
Thinking about that, I couldn't help but feel worried for him. Last night... if only I'd thought to question those heretics properly... last night... wait, the note...
Suddenly, my eyes flew wide open.
Who knew that Abel had given me a note... only...
"Victoria..."
I forced myself out of bed, fighting down the waves of dizziness and nausea, and staggered to the bedroom door. I shoved it open with a creak, drew a deep breath, and with every last ounce of strength I had, screamed at the top of my lungs: "Victo— ria—!"
I hoped she hadn't left yet.
"Victoria!"
"...Ugh—!"
The effort of screaming with everything I had made the nausea surge even worse, and my head spun harder.
One step. Two steps... It's just a staircase, you can do this, Pontifical Knight Sylvia...
But reality isn't a manga. A strong will can't fix a body that's falling apart. I hadn't even made it down 10 steps before my legs buckled. I missed a step, and with a loud crash, I tumbled down.
"...Ngh!"
A pitiful cry.
I had fallen down the staircase. My whole body ached, and my vision exploded with stars.
...That really hurt.
"Victoria..." A sound came from my lips, barely more than a murmur.
No one answered.
Victoria had perhaps returned to her own mansion... or even gone to the royal palace. But no matter what, I would crawl on my hands and knees to get the message to her...
"...What exactly do you think you're doing."
A cool, clear voice rang out close to my ear. My heart leapt with relief, and I struggled to force my eyes open... and I saw that breathtakingly beautiful face I had been picturing.
Victoria was still here. She crouched down and helped me up.
"Didn't I tell you to rest."
She said, but there was no way I could think about that right now.
I forced the words out with great difficulty: "Theresa... it's Theresa... she's the only one who knew... go investigate her..."