••• Prince •••
…Afflicted by love, you became my desires, my addiction, this heart is your slave now. Come into my arms and let me live into this sanctuary…
I am your well wisher Cinzel. It was me who has protected you all this time. This masquerade was all to keep you secure but wasted against my feelings.
I immersed you in this swamp, unable to pursue how I developed these feelings for the past four years.
It was me who kept all the harm away from you.
These lethal emotions might not need a name but are broken from your dream. Look where I left us...
Urging to have you in the lines of my palm, I suffocated beneath the sheet of suffering only to find sanctuary in your smiles. To keep you secure and blended with emulation for what he gave you, I lost myself.
These thoughts troubled my mind. I wanted to suppress them forever but was unable to, its intensity is not letting me.
“Fuck.. what the hell am I thinking?” I whispered.
The cold droplets of water rolled down my skin, my hands placed upon the wall, I emit a deep sigh to escape these terrible thoughts.
Breathing heavily I turned off the shower, wore my trousers and walked out.
Forgetting the fact someone whose very soul trembles by my name was outside and upon seeing me without a shirt, the crimson shade over her face gave me a detailed explanation of her arousal, distress and of course fear.
With an expressionless gaze, I stared at her face until she got up to leave but I held her wrist.
"Cinzel."
She flinched by my touch, radiating heat and screeching breath of timidness.
Shivering, she hesitantly turned to me, shutting her eyes, even holding her breath by the proximity between my exposed chest and her petite form.
"Open your eyes." I said in a low but firm tone. She shook her head no, clutching her shirt tightly.
"Open them, it's okay. You can look." I said tenderly, moving my hands to her shoulder, receiving utmost terror rushing adrenaline in her but still having no effect.
The quiver I could feel urged to eradicate by closing but it will only enhance her flushed and frightened reaction.
"Cinzel." I called her name, leaning close to her face.
After struggling, she opened her eyes and met mine which were trying to reassure her but failed.
"P-Please, g-get away…" She whispered back breathlessly.
"You are scared." I told her the bitter fact I could obliterate from her heart.
"It's okay to be afraid." I murmured, moving my hand to her cheek, cupping it slowly, she stood still, half lid eyes barely espying at my face apprehensively while I proceeded gradually.
"Relax…"
"I can't." Her immediate reply came, her rapid breath reaching my skin, intensifying my heartbeats.
Holding myself back, I exhaled in her ears, her back arched up a little with tears brimming in her eyes. I took her hand and was about to place it on my chest but she pulled away with a gasp.
"I.. I can't…" Her voice came out croaked.
"Hey, It's okay, It's-"
"I can't."
Shaking her head, she took a step back, holding the hem of her shirt, she moved back with a tear rolling down her cheek and ran out of the room as I was left dazed by her heartbreaking utterance, echoing in my mind, submerging it in devastation.
‘And to be honest, even these traces laced with chaos were desirable. ‘
Sighing, I wore my shirt and went to sleep. The next day I woke up and saw Cinzel was still sleeping.
Usually she wakes up before me just to avoid me. Seemingly last night's encounter left her lost as she couldn't even sleep with me.
I got out and picked her slumbering form from the sofa and the moment I put her on the bed, her eyes fluttered open.
Squeaking and crawling back by the vicinity, convulsing with stimulation creeping upon her skin. But soon she relaxed a little after grasping I did nothing.
I sighed and sat on the bed, "I am leaving for Italy for a few days on Sunday. You can ease up then." I told her.
Swallowing hard, she nodded a little, calming down by the panic-stricken wakeup call.
"Then… will you come to Sky's parents day on Friday?" She asked, "She wants me to attend it as her mother."
I was taken aback, certainly not expecting Sky to get attached with Cinzel so early to the extent of giving her mother's place.
"I see. I'd be busy, I might not even come home." I told her calmly, getting up.
"So you truly don't pay heed to her." She mumbled to herself but I heard her say.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
Shaking my head at her agitated reaction, I went to the bathroom.
••••••
"You just set an example of getting what you desire; marrying your own nephew's bride." Garry taunted.
"How long are you going to stick with this marriage ordeal?" I sighed.
"Did you visit the factory? I want all the guns to be shipped tomorrow."
"I will take care of it, you tell me about the little stunt of Killing James you pulled at the party?" He asked. I sighed, reloading my gun and looked up at him.
"He worked for Nathaniel. That bastard was keeping an eye on us all this time. Honestly, at this point everyone is suspicious. Who knows, even Sky’s ex-caretaker Amanda would work for him too." I told him with a dry chuckle.
"They fear me, that's why they aren't doing anything but the day this terror will end, so will we. Besides, Ayle lineage is awaiting this moment, to hit me from behind." I chuckled dryly.
"I don't understand you, Young Lord." Garry sighed.
"Hmm?"
"You are complex. You literally know most of the things people think you don't still don't take action. You know Nathaniel wants to kill you, Theo and Zaniel might plot against you, Issac needs you still don’t react.” He said.
"It's simple, I wait for the right moment." I smirked.
"Just like you did with your young bride?" He smirked back.
"You can say it." I hummed.
"Anyways, things are going to become rough so let's indulge in the reprieve." I said, took my keys and left for my favorite pub to get wasted and leave this trap of woe but it chased me even in this drunk condition.
"You have drunk too much, Young Lord. Let me drop you home." Garry said and held my shoulder but I yanked his hand away.
"It's not a home. It was a cage, sewed with terrible memories… blood stained walls and heavy hearts still… how can you call this place a home?!" I hissed, slamming my hand on the table.
“If it would be a home then I would have to think twice or feel afraid to talk or show affection before my sweet Astrid and her children whose Father I killed by my own hands!” My voice broke, losing my composure from anguish.
“I made my one sister a window. Took away the daughter-in-law of my other sister. Stole Zaniel’s bride. Jake and Minnie’s Father. Sky’s mother…” I took a pause, agony collected in my chest and hurt me terribly.
"Am I cheating on Dania, Garry?" I asked, hiding my face in my hands.
"No, you are not."
"Then why do I feel what I have never felt before- even with Dania with Cinzel?" I asked myself but my wrath came more keen than before and what slipped my lips I was trying to control.
"Goddammit!" I hissed, turning to Garry pitying my desperation.
"You know what, Garry…"
"I hate her because I love her!" I enunciated, not in my senses.
"You are drunk. Let me drop you home." Garry said sternly, helping me to stand.
"No, I don't wanna go." I whined but he took me away.
"Drop me at the farmhouse because Every time I see her, it makes me want to touch her, explore those plum lips, rake my finger in her locks, stare at her and this... This terrifies her." I said as my heart clenched in incomprehensible pain, looking at my void hands.
“She is afraid of her husband…”
Garry laughed a little, "What do you expect from someone whom you forcefully married, threatened and hid everything from her?" And this guy threw the facts right at my face.
"But... Amid all this she couldn't see my desperation. My... Despair." I mumbled sadly.
"Did you even let her?"
Curling my hands in a fist, I scowled with sheer determination, "I hate her. She is just a defiled Alroy. Contaminated blood."
"You are not in your senses." She made me senseless!
But my fury once again calmed down as I began to say again with my voice getting low and grieved,
"I never wanted her to be scared, I just tried to make her obedient but it unwillingly induced fright in her."
"Too late for that."
"Stop speaking curses dammit!" I yelled at him for increasing my ravaged state by his words.
"It's the part of reality you have created, Young Lord. There is a thin line between fear and obedience and you crossed that line."
The painful words I couldn't speak, he is putting them right before me and it is beyond this fragile heart's abilities to subdue it.
"It infuriates me to see her with Zaniel, what does he have? He practically lied to her, gave her deception under the name of love." I cursed, lowering my head, my senses were fading in a blur.
"And you can truly provide her love." He finally smiled, turning to look at me as we stopped outside the farmhouse.
"If given a chance... Do you think I can remove this fear?" I asked innocently, disheartened at where fastening my heart led me.
"Judging how you have treated her till now. No." He shrugged.
"It was all to protect her."
I reasoned as desperately as if I am pleading with Cinzel herself to believe my empty consolation and filled them up by her radiance.
"She neither knows nor understands." I hummed, nodding.
"We're here. Let's go." He said, helping me to get put as I passed out.