My eyelids flutter open to white ceiling and dim lights. I squint at the bulb while patting the soft surface I am sprawled on. This is not my office. Everything comes rushing back, images spill over me. El. Our argument. The blackout. My gaze returns to the ceiling, the walls become familiar. I am in my room.
Where are my girls?
An acute pain slices through my skull when I attempt to get out of the bed, I relax on the headboard till it subsides. A frown takes over my lips when I glance at my outfit, I am still in my work clothes. The door pushes open, Sophia walks in with another lady I instantly recognise as the second family doctor. Doctor Joy. I throw a leg over the bed, pushing myself until I am slouched over the edge.
The house is too quiet, the girls should be here, chewing my ears off with questions. Every nerve in my body screams for me to check on them but my limbs have turned to jelly, walking will be hell. I haven’t felt this weak in years.
“Where are my babies?” I ask.
“They are fine,” Doctor Joy answers. “Playing downstairs. You needed to rest without any disturbance.” I nod, eyes sweeping over her. Her curly hair frames her face, her red lips spread in a smile and she edges closer to me. Pointing to the bedside drawer with two bottles of pills, she says, “You are supposed to–”
“Am I okay?”
Doctor Joy chuckles and the corners of her eyes crinkle. “Yes, just stressed. I recommend lots of bedrest. Work from home if you must but get some rest,” she adds with a stern face. Her frown doesn’t ease up until I acquiesce with a nod, she picks a bottle from the drawer. “Start with this, once a day. Prescription is on the bottle. You also need to eat.” I grin, I am most guilty of this. “Don’t forget to take your vitamins and vegetables too, they are not only meant for the girls.” I flash her a grin. I should pay myself as much attention as I do my kids but they are my priority. “You will be feeling brand new in no time. Eat, rest.”
“I will,” I say to calm her. She wraps her arms around herself and nods. “Can I see my girls now?”
“Sure. I’ll send them up on my way out.” Doctor Joy looks over my head to her partner who stayed quiet throughout our exchange. The irritation brewing under the surface of her smile doesn’t escape me. I don’t know how this works. Do I apologise? I feel like an ass for sending that video with her phone but she is partly to blame. Yes, we have gone weeks without speaking to each other but it wasn’t because of a fight. Are we fighting? She never returned any of the calls she missed. I stand. “Sophia, you coming?”
Sophia clears her throat, I stagger to my wardrobe to get a change of clothes. “You can go on without me,” she answers. The door opens and closes, her footsteps fade but I don’t turn back. “I will draw up a food timetable for Lydia. It will include meals Doctor Joy suggested.” I start shaking my head, I don’t want to take Lydia from El and the kids, I can cook my own damn meals. Sophia cuts me off in a sharp tone that has my body twisting. Our eyes lock. “You don’t have much of a choice, Mr Stark.”
Confirmed. We are at war, better still, she’s fighting me. What the hell is with women and being so formal when upset? I run my fingers through my hair, I can’t do this with her. El is enough. “Sophia–”
“It’s Doctor Sophia to you.” Laughter escapes my throat, she crosses her leg at the ankle, arches a tweezed brow and I erupt in another round of laughter. Women can be funny. “You should be in bed.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I snap. Shrugging out of my shirt, I replace it with a T-shirt and pair it with a short. With Sophia, I have never cared about nudity, so it doesn’t affect us right now. When I am done, I return to my former position on the bed and relax on the headboard for support. Sophia remains by the door, one hand in the pocket of her oversized dress. “Are we going to talk about it or not?” I spit out. These women are slowly turning me into someone else. A talkative. I pat the spot beside me. “Please.”
I sigh softly as she occupies the space by the foot of the bed, she can maintain that much gap between us if it makes her comfortable. “El is still not talking to me,” she starts with a frown that deepens into a scowl. “She won’t talk to me until she gets the kids. You should have sent the video with your phone.”
Pushing a pillow behind me, I snigger. “How would that have hurt your feelings?” Her lips press into a thin line, she straightens her already straight hair and sighs. A sad look creeps into her eyes, it tugs at my heart. Shit. I didn’t know they were this close. “Look, we can just put this behind us. Elna will be fine.”
She scoffs. “You don’t get it.” I close my eyes, no idea what she’s yapping about. “It’s not that easy.”
They are both in the wrong as much as I am, the sooner we get this pity party out of the way, the faster I will get to asking about Brianna. I have too many questions. Will she wake again? Was that a one-time thing? It better not be. Should I keep hoping? Do I pull the plug? Hiding my face in my palms, I release a long sigh. I need to know. She can’t spend the rest of her life supported by a machine, that’s not living.
“What was she like?” I ask in a voice barely above a whisper, almost afraid to hear her answer. Vincent’s face rears in my mind, I clutch my head and groan. That bastard has gotten to me. “Will she be okay?”
“Yeah,” Sophia whispers. I look up, afraid to hope. She nods with a smile. “Give her a few days.” Days. My hope deflates as fast as it inflated. That was the same thing she told me at the beginning, to give her a few days that have eventually turned to years. “Brandon, Brianna will survive this. This time, I’m sure.”
A tiny ray of hope shines upon me, her words form a bubble around me. Her grin is infectious, my lips twitch. Relief soaks my being, I nod with more certainty. My baby will be okay. Chuckles slip past my lips. My princess will be okay. The relief fades, replaced by remorse, guilt and a wave of other overwhelming emotions I don’t care to decipher. I cross my legs and tug at my toes. It’s too late to take the video back.
“I fucked up,” I whisper. The silence carries my voice and my words echo seconds after as if to mock me.
“We all did.” Hugging a pillow, she says, “We were going to tell you, I swear. We just got caught up in the moment.” My head continues jerking, I understand them better now. Sincerity leaks from her voice, almost drowning me with shame for thinking the worst of them. “El was happy, so happy like it was her child. Like she was the one who waited all those years.” She splays her fingers on her laps and laughs, a small smile forms on my lips. I miss El. “And then you had to ruin everything.” Her scowl returns, she shakes her head. We ruined it, I didn’t do it alone. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, we didn’t know how.”
The silence drags on to something more peaceful. Brianna will be okay, it’s all that matters now. “Can I get a DNA test?” Sophia’s head jerks towards me. “I’ll explain later.” Uncertainty flashes across her face but she nods. I might have done a test in the past but I need another to confirm Brianna is my daughter. I need to shut that taunting voice in my head forever. She sighs, my eyes lower to the floor. Guilt weighs heavy on me, I am an awful friend. “The kids will be home today, you and Elna can patch things up.”
I follow her gaze to the plain walls she’s staring keenly at, she murmurs, “Yeah.” A brow lifts when she slaps a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles, she turns to me and bursts into ear-scratching laughter. I wait for her laughter to subside, the seconds ticking too slow with her showing no signs of stopping. My eyes linger on the door, the girls should be up here. “You are being nice. It’s odd,” she says with a laugh.
Pinning her with a glare, I say, “I am always nice.”
“You are always Brandon.” Whatever that means. Am I supposed to be another person? What happened to that shitty quote about being yourself? The sound of footsteps stops her from talking, she stands to open the door and the girls rush in with a bowl they dump on the stand. “Easy, girls. Daddy needs rest.”
But my girls are already in my arms, smothering me with hugs. I missed them too. They peck my cheeks, Sophia hisses and my tongue sticks out. She might want to reconsider marriage and kids. It is worth it.
“Daddy, how are you now?” Bren asks. Palming my face, she squints. “You look okay.”
Sophia roars with laughter, Wyn giggles and jumps off the bed to retrieve the bowl with diced fruits. She shoves a spoonful into my mouth, I chew diligently under their watchful gazes and we continue until the bowl is empty. A yawn escapes me minutes after I am done eating, tiredness hits me but my arms wrap around them as they get comfortable on my laps. Sophia notices my eyelids droop, she clears her throat.
“Your daddy needs to rest,” she says.
“Okay,” the girls chorus and slide off my legs. Fluffing pillows, they create space and say, “Rest, Daddy.”
Their voices leave no room for arguments, I bury my head in the pillow and their arms wrap protectively around me like the little angels they are. One of them kisses me, I don’t know who but it elicits a smile from me. Maybe I’ll ask them to talk to El on my behalf. No one can resist their charms.
“I’m leaving,” Sophia says in a small voice and I blink sleepily. “Don’t let him out of your sight, girls. He needs to rest.” I hear a door close but I don’t open my eyes to confirm, seconds later, I drift to sleep.