Everything is slow. Time seems to be taking a break. I collapse on my seat, brows knitted together. A lot of thoughts contest for space in my mind, my heart shrinks as Bren’s voice echoes in my head and a new wave of anger for El uncoils inside me. Bren thought it was their fault. Does Wyn also think that way?
I straighten up at the sound of my phone going off. It is a text from Ava. To check up on me, find out the reason I skipped today’s session. I place the phone face down without replying her. If I want to feel good about myself, I will let her know. Monsters don’t need to feel good. I need to be punished for making my little girl cry. She didn’t even kiss me goodbye. That’s what makes it worse. Bren never gets that angry.
Tempted to call El to beg for her forgiveness and another chance with us as a family, I turn on my laptop. El doesn’t need an apology from me. It doesn’t matter whatever I do or say, I will always remain less of a man than T. Does she even see me? When she looks at me, does she see her husband or a murderer? It doesn’t matter anymore, I am giving her all the space in the world.
I send a short text to Sophia. Vincent will be at Dynasty later this night, she can’t fuck this up. Her reply comes in the form of a thumbs up. I pinch the bridge of the nose and sigh again when she sends another text to inquire about my beloved wife.
The pictures splayed on my table mock me. My eyes twitch furiously at the faces smiling at me. I shove them to the side. She is probably between T’s legs sucking the bastard off, ready to tell a lie to my face about their friendship if I dare to question her.
Does she like to cup his balls too or call him baby? Old friends indeed. Friends who know how each other tastes. She compared me to that wimp. If she didn’t like any of my friends, I wouldn’t hesitate to cut them off.
I groan. Not these silly thoughts again. I am over that woman. El can have him, I will keep my girls. I need to focus on making more money. Money never hurts anyone’s feelings. I also need to figure out Vincent and Jei. Between the two of them, I am not sure who annoys me more. The fucker, Jei for pausing our plans midway or the wanker, Vincent for getting into my head. No worries, I will have all I need to know about the bastard by next week. The idiot isn’t as sly as he thinks. I have played this game before and I never lose.
The telephone rings, I stare at it in mock fascination without picking. It rings for a few minutes until the caller tires himself out. A knock sounds on the door, my eyes wander to it but I remain mute. The knocks cease, the knob jerks as if the person behind the door is contemplating his next move. Ed doesn’t need to call me before showing up. He has free access to my office except I demand an undisturbed moment.
I clasp my hands on the desk, the door finally opens and Joshua saunters in. He plops himself on one of the two seats in front of me without a word, looking more defeated than I did when El decided staying together wasn’t the right decision for us. As the good big brother I am, I ignore him and pull up a calendar on my laptop screen. Misery loves company.
Next week Saturday is the charity event we are supposed to attend together. She begged me to join her. Does the invitation still stand? After the event is a small party to celebrate Loan Dolphin at four. Maybe I am an ass for owning shares in her company for as long as two years without breathing a word to her.
I almost ruined our chance together when I found out she didn’t tell me about Brianna. A knowledge she kept away from me for only two weeks. But they are not the same. I am well aware she wanted to start Loan Dolphin without a quarter from me. To become a successful business mogul, it is for that reason I stepped in. How the fuck was I supposed to know she had a back up plan? Even Joshua had no idea.
We wanted to help.
“El is not picking my calls,” Joshua finally says.
My fingers halt on the keyboard. “She found out.”
His shocked gasp travels through the air. I flash him a sadistic grin and he narrows his eyes. Feels good to have a partner in my misery. Joshua leans forward to whisper, “Brandon, did you tell her?”
Does it matter? She knows what we did. She went on another date with T to prove to me she’s doing fine. Really? Two days is all it took for her to get over me and move on with the same man I loathe. I don’t care that they were not holding hands or were dressed in formal outfits. A date is a date. And she knows. She knows I am watching. My creepy ass is back to stalking her. I deserve better.
“What difference does it make?” I ask, a bit perplexed at the incredulity spreading to his face.
“All the difference.” I resume typing but pause briefly as the image of El and T assaults my mind. I should have stayed home because today has been futile. I push the pictures of those two under my laptop. I should shred them, burn T’s eyes off but I can’t. Seeing them all cozy in that restaurant makes El words more believable. She hates me. She is with a better man. Joshua pries a copy. He holds it above his head, then flicks a finger over it. “What are you doing with a picture of Terrence?”
A chill wraps itself around my spine. I arch a brow. “T?” I forget about my laptop. “You know him?”
Joshua nods. A broad smile makes an appearance on his lips as his fingers trace the face of T. “Terrence? Yes. Guy has got big dreams.” Like snatching my wife. “El, Clarissa and I, we all do. Everyone knows him.”
The excitement in his voice rubs me off the wrong way. Like that of a proud father. Has he ever smiled this hard at the mention of my name? Shit. I am such a dramatic pussy. I shouldn’t have skipped my session.
“Everyone but me,” I say, tone flat. He lifts a brow, I shrug. T is self-made and attained success early. Big deal. I had so much to my name at that age. The media claims he is kind because he donates to numerous charities but it doesn’t make him likeable. It might be part of his game plan. Serial killers have been known to be nice right before they turn on their victims. He doesn’t fool me. “You like him too?”
Joshua sets the picture on the table, he observes me for a moment before saying, “He’s a friend.”
An emotion stirs inside me. That part of me that has always wondered who he will pick if he has to make a choice between me and El. I squeeze my knees, pulse quickening at his smile. “But I’m your brother.”
“No doubts about that. Can’t miss the Stark genes.”
Our eyes lock in a fierce battle of stares, the younger Stark doesn’t give up and I am forced to look away. So what if he likes that man? They might truly be friends from school. My shoulders sag with defeat.
“Can you get him to stay away from El?” I ask in a pathetic whisper. If she won’t listen to me, she might listen to him. Men are men and women are women. Terrence likes Elna in the way a man likes a woman.
Joshua crosses his legs and offers me a smug smile. If we were younger, I would have smacked the living daylights out of him. “Nope.” He grins at my deep frown, switching to an accent. “Can’t do that, Bruv.”
His words reverberate in my head in that mocking tone that makes me want to throttle myself. I snap.
“What’s wrong with you?” I take a deep breath on seeing his bored face. I am the one who is always in control of my emotions. What happened to that version of me? “How can you like the guy who likes my wife?”
“Everyone likes your wife,” he says, “get used to it.”
“Everyone? Does that include you?” Joshua’s lips pull into a thin line. I am certain my face is a bright red ball of tomato as I slam my fist on my desk. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?” He stares gloomily at me like I have grown a horn. Maybe I will since we are now all about the unacceptable. “Elna is your sister-in-law.”
“So? I’m not supposed to like her?” he quips. It is one thing for a stranger to have feelings for your wife, it’s another if it’s your brother. I can’t deal with this a second time. A rivalry that might begin because one person is trying to prove to be the better option. Is he insane? We have an unspoken understanding about this. I sigh. A look crosses his face and he bursts out laughing. “No. No, I don’t like El that way.”
“Hmm.” Heat crawls up my neck as he laughs harder. The brat had me for a second. “Well, T does.” That part of my brain that’s convinced I am over her goes on a vacation. I twiddle my fingers and blurt out, “And she doesn’t want to see me.”
“She said that?”
“More or less.” I sigh. Lowering my voice to sound like El’s, I murmur, “Brandon, this is not working.”
Joshua’s mocking laughter tickles me at my poor imitation of El. He snorts and falls back on his seat with laughter. He’s too happy. Too carefree. Man, it must be lovely to be able to laugh at silly things like this.
“To be fair, if I find out my wife owns shares in–”
“Snap out of it, Man. You are not married and you are not a therapist. I don’t need you to break it down for me.” He flashes me that his stupid grin. Someone needs to hit this kid with a truckload of bad news. Sap a bit of that positive energy. “I fucked up, I get it. But I was trying to help.” She was trying to help too but I still shoved my dick in some other woman’s mouth. I close my eyes, forcing the thoughts down. If I could forgive her, she can do the same. “If she doesn’t think it’s working, then it’s not working.”
I sound so confident I almost begin to believe I am really over her. Joshua hums under his breath.
“She’s just upset but she will come around,” Joshua says. He lifts one shoulder in a careless shrug. “If it makes you feel any better, she’s also ignoring me.”
For the first time since his arrival, a smile settles on my lips. I feel better knowing that.