I didn’t dance with El. I danced all night with Mother, stepping her a few times like the awful dancer I am.
Mother is feeding Brianna when I arrive downstairs. I toss my briefcase on the table and give Brianna a peck after bopping her nose. Mother watches our exchange. She is still taking it all in. The videos and pictures. She hasn’t spoken about them or what she feels about Brendan’s actions and I doubt she will.
“We will be leaving in a bit,” she says with a side glance at Father who has his phone pressed to his ear.
“Good morning.” My hand covers hers resting on the dinning table and I give it a small squeeze. “You can stay for dinner. The twins will be here.” I get them for the rest of this week and next until El arrives. She left with her mother while I danced with mine. A crash sounds, we dart a look at the balcony. Father tugs on his hair from the roots. He turns to us and waves, I return it without a trace of anger or malice. It is not so bad to be in the same house with them. “I’ll have someone drop you two in the morning.”
Brianna burps. I drag her wheelchair to me and wipe the froth at the corners of her lips. Her lips move in what I like to think of as a smile. I move her hands to the left and right, then place them back on her legs. She is quiet but watches everything I do. We are making slow progress but I’m too grateful to care.
Light filters in from the door leading to the balcony. I haven’t been on a date since but I have lost count of the number of dates El has gone on with that man. She never gets touchy with him, always formal but I still count it as a date. I must be a big idiot to think she will stop being friends with him for my sake.
“Are you getting back together with Elna?”
Anger fleets through me. She doesn’t get to play the role of a mother now.
I take a deep breath.
These flashes of raw emotions are normal and might occur frequently. Forgiveness has different stages, it doesn’t happen all at once. Shit. I sound too much like my therapist. I might need to stop talking to her. She has too many logical answers to every question. I squeeze Brianna’s knees and a smile forms on my lips. Only positive vibes around her.
“I don’t know.” I entwine my fingers with Brianna’s, rocking her hand gently until she falls asleep. I need to book her next appointment. The gym instructor comes here. He is not needed but I want her limbs functional as soon as possible and every hand has to be on deck, including non-medical practitioners.
Some heartbeats later, I ask, “Do you know why we broke up?”
El has not called yet. Our conversation was long enough to let me know she would be away for a while. I rest my jaw on my palm and tilt my head. Mother pushes Brianna’s bowl to one side and leans forward.
“No. But I have my theories.”
“Pray tell.” My gaze centres on Brianna who puckers her lips in her sleep. I hope she’s calmer than the twins. Mother takes Brianna’s second hand and rubs her thumb over her knuckles. “She’s a fighter.”
“Yeah.” Her eyes lift to me, she sighs. “Brendan.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. I nod. “She found out?” I nod again. Her lips quirk like she is contemplating her next words. “Maybe she needs space.”
If the person who made up the word, space, isn’t dead already, I will find him myself and throttle him.
“It has been five years.”
Mother’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “Took you five to talk to us,” she whispers. “Five more to have a conversation like this.” In both cases, it wouldn’t have happened without El. “She needs space.”
She takes my hand between hers. Her grip is soft but firm and my lips curve in a smile. I like her touch. It is calming. Elna calms me too but this is Mother. The effect is different when she’s the one touching me.
Everyone is wrong about Elna. What she needs is her husband, not space. Space does us no good.
“You were not exactly nice to her the first time.”
“We were angry, Brandon. At her. At you.” I frown. She releases my hand and sighs heavily. “Hurt too. But the anger was easier to handle. This new girl–”
My eyes narrow. “She was not new.”
El is not my favourite person at the moment but she comes first. I won’t take any disrespect to her, even from my parents. Mother waves off my retort.
“I know.” Her back goes rigid. “Something we didn’t know how to do, she did it in less than a year.” My lips twitch. I don’t mention the shit I gave El for the date to happen. “We didn’t know how to get to you but she knew. You actually came out to meet us.”
Her laugh is forced and fake. “Your father was certain you wouldn’t come.” This time, her smile is more genuine. “The longer we waited at the gazebo without any signs of you two, the more convinced he grew. Then you showed up.” Mother swipes her hand against her eyes brimming with tears, I stare at my feet while she composes herself. She has never broken down in front of us. “We are really sorry.”
“I know.” My shoulders sag, I force the words that have been nagging me out of my lips. “I’m sorry for shouting at you the other day. For throwing stuff at you two.” My fists clench and unclench at the memory. “I was so angry, Mother.” She sniffs and wipes the snot running down her nose. I pat her hand in an awkward show of support. “But not anymore. I’m not so mad at you.” I spare a glance at the balcony. Father is listening to us. “Or him.”
Her laughter catches in her throat, she ends up laughing soundlessly. “We can work with that.” My smile vanishes when I remember she is sick and probably dying soon. I want to ask about the nature of her sickness, find out her regime but I don’t. I am scared. I give her hand a pat. “She’s good for you.”
“I don’t deserve her,” I whisper.
Ava would have had my head for that. We have been working hard at getting my head in the right place but I always circle back to zero point when El is involved. I stare at my feet. I am emotionally exhausted.
“Yes, you do, Brandon,” she says. “You deserve her as much as she deserves you. She will come around.”
Her confidence almost spills over me. I push my legs under my chair. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Elna is stubborn. I’m not so sure she will come around. I steal a peek at my wristwatch. “I have to go.”
She nods. I lean forward to press a kiss to her forehead and embrace her. I like hugging Mother. It’s like she takes away the pain and anger. Her hand slides to my back, her eyes twinkle. “Have a good day.”
“You too, Mother.” I motion to Brianna and stand straighter. “Take care of my baby.”
“I will.”
Father and I exchange a nod, I sashay out of the house, chest puffing with a newfound pride. Air rushes into my lungs, I let out a small scream and smile sheepishly as Enzo pulls up with the car. He doesn’t say a word but I don’t miss his little smile.
I am bursting with happiness as I walk into my office building. My lips remain in a perpetual grin. I want everyone around me to share in my joy. The elevator slides open, Ed joins me and we stroll to my office together.
Sunlight pours into the office once I part the curtains. Ed sets my coffee on my desk. I watch quietly as my assistant gets my things ready like he has been doing in my absence. “You can take the day off.”
Ed does a double take. “I can?”
“Yes,” I answer with a nod, “you have earned it.”
His whole body deflates, I raise a finger. “Before you leave, I need you to book an appointment with the company’s lawyer. I would like to resell some shares to the owner.” Ed nods and brings out his tab. Brianna will get something else from me. Maybe a percent of Project El. “Today. Please, make it today.”
After a few minutes of typing on his tab, Ed raises his head. “Done.” He delays to leave. “Is that all, Sir?”
“Yes.” He walks backwards and I shake my head. “Wait.” He stops. “Do you have a girlfriend?” I continue when he replies in the positive, “How do you pacify her when she’s mad at you for something you did?”
Pushing his hands into his pockets, he says, “By doing all her favourite things.” I lean back on my seat. El has a lot of favourites and sweet tooth. I take another look at Ed. To be honest, I expected this scrawny workaholic to be single. “Being on my best behaviour too. She loves flowers so they also do the trick.”
El also loves flowers but she’s not in town. “Have a great day.”
He laughs. I think this is the first time I am hearing him laugh around me. “You too, Sir.”
I intend to. I will. And I will start by trying to win my wife back.