Gwen’s POV
Six days.
That’s how long it’s been since Stefan practically ran out of the bed in the middle of what was possibly going to be the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life. I’ll never know, will I?
Six days is also exactly how long it’s been since we were intimate like that. Sure, we’ve been keeping up the nightly runs. But each night, he makes it clear, one way or another, that he isn’t ready to get freaky again.
And that’s fine, I guess. It’s not like I’m going through a body-crushing need to have sex with him.
Come to think of it, maybe that–having that uncontrollable need–is what will have to happen before I’m in his arms again.
But it’s all good, I convince myself as I bring my glass of wine to my lips. It’s not like our relationship is all about sex. Actually, after how everything got started around here, maybe taking a step back from any physical activities of that kind is a good idea. Get to know each other, you know.
I mean…
We are getting married tonight, for heavens' sake.
Heck, at what point did I decide that all this was normal? Meet some guy, find out he’s a werewolf, get turned into one, have otherworldly sex with him, and get hitched within three weeks of knowing each other.
Damn, even if I were to write my own fantasy love story, I wouldn’t have been so quick with it.
This is all so surreal, but then again, isn’t this entire world that I’ve found myself in?
“Bridal jitters?”
I turn as Hanna walks into the room, her eyes drawn to my glass of wine.
I shrug and take the last sip. “You could say.”
“Well, I hope you’re not planning on escaping before the ceremony because then, I’ll have hundreds of angry werewolves in my hands and I would rather not.”
I chuckle. “Hundreds, huh? Exactly how popular is your boy?”
“You mean your man? He’s a king, what do you think? Even those who don’t like him have to show up.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not planning an escape.”
“Don’t feel pressured, okay? This is not your usual wedding ceremony.”
“Yeah, I figured.” We’ll be hunting down an elk or moose, or whichever poor animal is out there tonight, for one. Not exactly an activity you’ll find on the program of your everyday wedding.
“Actually, it’s quite simple. You go out there and hunt while the rest of us wait while we party and whatnot, you come back with your catch, do a little ritual presided by a priestess, and then you join the party.”
“And then we can walk into our happily ever after,” I add.
“You get it.” Hanna tilts her head side to side, frowning a little. “What exactly is bothering you?” She takes a seat next to me. “Stefan has been a total prince charming, right? He hasn’t done something stupid to make you not want this, right?”
The concern in her eyes makes me want to spill every little concern and insecurity I have. Instead, I shrug. “I’m just… I guess it’s all finally hitting home. I think it was easier to not think too much of it when it was just me and Stefan. But now there are hundreds of people who I don’t even know milling around out there waiting to witness our ceremony. It’s crazy. And I know it’s different from the weddings I’ve grown up knowing, but it’s still the same kind of vow, and I’m trying to wrap my head around all this, how this suddenly became my new normal. And when I start thinking like that, it starts feeling like I’m dreaming, but then again I really want it, and I don’t know what to do with the part of me that feels like I’m making a mistake…”
“Shhh,” Hanna coos as she scoots across the space between us and embraces me, bringing my head to her shoulder and her hands to get back. “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Just take a breather, okay? Relax. This is all different from everything you were used to, so it’s normal that you’re feeling like this. Deep breaths, okay? Good. Like that.”
After a long while, Hanna pulls back and looks at me earnestly. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want, you know. You can—”
“I want to,” I cut her off, wiping my hand across my teary lashes. “I want to be with Stefan. That I’m sure of.”
She smiles and nods. “Good. That’s all that matters.”
“Besides, I’ve been running through the woods as a wolf for the last two weeks. It’s a little too late to begin questioning my new existence, I think.”
“You do you,” she tells me, giving me a wink. She feels like the older sister I never had. I have no idea who I would be opening up to if she wasn’t here. The only other women I’ve met around here besides the housekeeper and healer are the ones who kidnapped me to Martha’s house.
There’s a knock on my door and Hanna shoots to her feet. “I’ll get that,” she offers.
I nod and wipe my cheeks to ensure there are no remaining tears while she gets it.
The sound of Stefan’s voice brings me to my feet. Hanna looks back at me. “Later,” she tells me, giving me a short wave.
She disappears and Stefan steps inside, closing the door behind him. “Hey,” he says, walking towards me.
I find myself wrapping my arms around myself self-consciously. “Hey.”
“Are you okay?” he asks, coming to a stop in front of me.
I nod. “Yeah.”
“I know this could be too much for you, and if you want to bail, it’s okay. We are already mates in every sense of the word, and this ceremony is just–”
“I want to do it,” I tell him.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. We’ve been preparing for this all week. I’m ready.”
He nods, but his brows pull together. “What is it, then?”
I rock on my feet. “What?”
“Something is bothering you, I can tell.”
Since when did I become an open book?
I chuckle lightly. “Nothing special. Normal bridal jitters.” Thanks to Hanna for putting that thought in my head.
Stefan takes a step closer and reaches out to brush hair behind my ear. “Anything I can do to make it better?”
This close, I can smell his scent, feel his heat. I want to wrap myself in that, but we should be downstairs in a bit, get this crazy-ass night started.
So I settle for the next best thing. Tilting my face up towards him, I say, “Kiss me.”
His lips stretch in a semi-smile, and then he bends towards me. “You got it,” he whispers before claiming my lips in his.
He kisses me slow and long as if we have all the time in the world. I place my hands on his shoulders while he frames my face, holding me steady.
When we separate, I’m panting for air, and my heart is hammering behind my ribs. Forget sexual attraction, this is a different kind of thrill. The kind of thrill you get when you love being with someone so much your knees go weak and your insecurities disappear into thin air.
“Better?” he asks, pressing our foreheads together.
“Yeah,” I reply, lips trembling.
“Good,” he says, then pulls me in, for a hug this time.
With my ear to his chest, I find out that it’s not just my heart that’s wilding out.
And all of a sudden, everything feels so right. I was meant to be here, with him. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to cower from this amazing thing that is happening to me.