CHAPTER 43. COMPLICATED
RYDER
Nearing the border, I got a mind link from Jason. Turns out Ciara had lost her mind and ambushed Hara with her media buddies. I alighted from the car with the speed of lightning, ignoring the elders and whatever lecture they hurled at me.
The old temple and whatever sick sacrifices we had to make had to wait. Hara was my priority, she always will be.
In my human form, I was at a disadvantage, as I had to stick around and hitchhike a ride. And if I requested they come pick me up, that'll take forever.
Jason had sounded rather serious and I wasn't taking any fucking chances. I had to go to Hara and see with my own eyes that Ciara hadn't done as much as touch a strand of her hair.
Taking in her appearance, it seems Ciara had done more than just touching her hair strands. That bitch is gonna get it from me, no way am I gonna forgive this.
Jason looked like he wanted to stick around much longer but I wasn't about to keep him around while I tried to straighten things out with Hara.
He glanced at me and back at Hara before leaving. With him gone, it was just us.
“I don't want you here…“ She began, but she was shivering and could barely say the words without stuttering.
“Get off that duvet.“ I said, itching to go yank that damn thing away from her body. “You're gonna catch a cold,“
“That's none of your business, just get out!”
“I didn't shift into my wolf form to get here just to watch you freeze to death. Take that damned thing off,“
“I said it's none…“ Her teeth clattered and she hugged herself from the cold. “...of your business,“
“Fuck this!“ Throwing caution in the wind, I closed up the distance and pulled her into my arms. Writhing and squirming, she fought to break free. I took off the drenched duvet and with her struggles, getting her warm clothes was impossible. I yanked off the sheets from the bed and wrapped them around her.
Her fist landed on my shoulders and face in weak punches. She was screaming that I let her go, she was going completely berserk. There was no way I was letting her go in that state.
“Hara, please. Get a hold of yourself.“ I tried soothing her, my arms caging her from the back so she wouldn't hit my face anymore.
“Let me go! I don't want you anywhere close to me,“
“I'm gonna let you go, but you need to chill first. This isn't good for you or your child. Take a deep breath, please,“
“Just let me go already!“ She clenched out, willed to free herself from my hold. It was a shocker to see this aggressive side of her. Hurts me shitless to know I'm the reason behind it.
“Please, please, Queen. Just breathe, I promise I'll let you go, but just fucking breathe,“ I whispered into her ears, nuzzling her ear lobe, wishing she'll chill out a bit.
“I'm not your queen. Ciara is, and she made that pretty clear a while ago.“
“She's not my queen…“
“Yes, she is!“ This time, she broke out of my hold, and I took steps back, destroying our proximity. “You're a hell of a liar. A bloody trickster. But I don't understand why you chose me in your game of manipulation and lies. Why did you have to put me in this mess?!“
”Hara…“
“Don't say a word. I'm not done talking,“ she hushed me with her hand.
I remained silent and just listened. Her words, every bit of them brutally jabbed at my wounded heart. She was calling me nasty names, branding me the villain. Crucifying me without hearing my side of the story. She was so hurt, so bittered and it fueled my urge to send Ciara to hell.
“And you wanna know what makes me angrier?“ She rambled on, sniffing back her tears. “Last night, I was more than eager to have you inside of me. You call me your mate and that scares me but last night, I was willing to let go of that fear just for a moment with you. And now, realizing it was just some sick game of yours makes me feel dirty and promiscuous. I'm angrier at myself than I am with you and your sidekick!“
“Hara…“
“I'm not your mate, Alpha-Prince. Never will be. Feeling a certain attraction for you at some point doesn't mean I embrace your madness of calling me your mate. I have a mate…“
”Fucking let me talk!“ My outburst made her flinch but got her silenced too. About damn time! “You're hurting? You feel cheated? Well, newsflash Queen, I feel worse. Whatever you feel right now doesn't come close to how I felt twenty-seven years ago, and a few months back when I went to your pack. From the moment I picked up your scent on that son of a bitch and found out you disappeared, my whole world crumbled. You were all I thought of, all I dreamt of…“
“You didn't know what I looked like….“ she muttered, completely astonished.
“You think?” I reached for my pocket and fished out that photo of her, showing it to her. “I needed proof that you existed and I wasn't just being deranged. That son of a bitch gave this to me and I've held on to it ever since.“
“Geez…“
“And when you showed up in my bar, damn, I fucking died and felt alive at the same time. Then I saw you were carrying his child and it was a hard blow to me. But it's nothing compared to the bond that ties us. And I'm more than willing to be a father to your child. But after how our first meeting went, I decided to keep my distance. I was scared that if I came at you stronger, you'd run off. You have no idea how hard it was for me. You were near but yet so far, that's the most painful shit I've ever had to go through, Mate,”
“That's crazy. I can't be – I already have…“
“Then maybe you're destined to have two mates. Probably meet the first one at the early stage of your life, then meet the second later on and stay with him. 'Because I'm not letting you go. I'll be damned,“
“This is insane!“ She shook her head as if trying to fight off the possibility. “I can't be caught in such a twist,“
“I'm afraid you already are. And I'm willing to go easy on you till it sinks in. But I just need you to understand that we're both suffering. And when you think you're having it worse, just remember there's a man out there who feels the mate bond with a woman carrying another man's child. I'm sure that sounds more pathetic,“
“Wait, don't confuse me.” She ruffled her hair like she was fighting to keep her mind from going off a sanity cliff. “Why were you staking out my apartment?“
“Rackline will soon be hit by the flood. I was making sure you were alright,“
“And Jason?“
“What about him?”
“He came in here every night too. According to Ciara, it seems you send him ahead of your arrival. Why's that?“
I couldn't make sense of her words. I'm sure I've been staking out her apartment. But I sure as hell haven't been taking Jason with me. This past week, I forbade him from meeting Hara. He was only supposed to meet her today because I was leaving. So what's this talk about him coming in here at night?
“Has Jason been visiting you at night?“
“Yes. He told me his boss wouldn't let him see me anymore. But from Ciara's theory, it seems you two were in it together. So tell me, what exactly was the purpose of his visits?“
”I don't know about that.” That double-crossing jerk will have to answer me when I get back.
“That's another lie. You just can't stop lying!“ She flared up, ”You know what, I don't care. Keep lying, that only shows how compatible you are with Ciara. And I'm gonna say this just once so listen carefully, I have a mate. And just because I confided in Jason about my painful past with Roland doesn't make me the perfect pawn for whatever craziness you two are weaving. Stop messing with my head and just leave me alone!“ she was crying now, sitting on her bed with her head bowed in between her thighs.
“You confided in Jason about what?“ my question came out in a musing whisper. There was so much to this and Jason seems to be in the middle of it all.
Just then, his voice came in through the mind-link.
“Ryder, you gotta get your ass back. The videos have gone viral and people are going crazy. You gotta come talk to them,“
“On my way. Jason, get a press conference in the main hall. I gotta undo what Ciara did,“
“On it.“
The mind-link ended and I knew I had to leave. She was still sobbing and as much as I wanted to soothe her, I couldn't.
Never seen a mate bond so fucked up and twisted as ours. Whenever I take a step closer, she takes a million steps backward. Like the universe was fighting to keep us away. It's depressing!
“Please leave,” She was muttering, but in my ears, it was a scream.
”Sure. I'm willing to leave now, but I'll be back. And before you come up with any funny ideas, just know my men would be outside. You understand, right?“
“You're keeping me hostage in my apartment,“ She looked up, her puffy eyes wet with tears.
“I'm sorry, but I can't let you out of my sight, Hara. I'd rather die. I'll rather end my fucking life,“ I replied, taking steps backward till I was out the door, holding her gaze till the door was shut between us.