Irtaza was in his office. His brain was filled with a lot of assumptions as he continued to think about Zahra's confessions the night before. His brain didn't believe that she loved him, though his heart wanted to trust her words. He wanted her to love him but his mind wasn't accepting the fact that she was telling the truth making a chain of questions arise in his mind.
From the very start, his heart always had compelled him to trust her which he did but the change in her attitude, her nervousness, her confession that night that she loved him was making him more and more confused.
He was in a dilemma for the first time in his life. He was damn sure that Zahra was hiding something from him, his brain kept on forcing him not to trust her on the other hand, his heart, wanted him to trust her, believe her. He was in love with her but past experiences in his life enabled him to trust anyone.
He was confused about whether to trust Zahra or not because trust is the base of every relationship.
It takes seconds to break someone's trust and centuries to build it again.
This was his view. He never had trusted anyone and there was a big reason for it. His mind flashed back as his brain recalled memories of his past.
Flashback
"Irtaza wake up." Seven years old Shehryaar shook his elder brother in sleep, waking him up from deep slumber. The sky was dark and the haveli was silent.
"What is it?" The nine-year-old boy asked in his croaky heavy voice.
"Irtaza I want water. Please can you come with me to the kitchen so I can get some water? " He told.
"Can't you go alone?"
"I'm afraid. It's dark all around and there is no one at haveli other than Dada, Dadi, and mama." He blinked several times, making a puppy face knowing very well that his brother won't deny him now.
"Ughh.... come on now," Irtaza said and got up from the bed and they both went to the kitchen.
After getting the bottle from the fridge, they both were on their way back to the room when they heard some voices coming from their parent's room. Both of them got startled and decided to follow behind the voices.
On reaching, the room's door, Irtaza slightly turned the knob and without making much sound pushed the door opened and the scene in front of him left his mouth hanging. Shahryar pushed aside him a little and made entry into the room and the whole scene in front of him got imprinted into his mind forever.
Their mother lay on the bed, naked and another man clinging to her body as they continued to fuck each other. The whole room resonated with her throaty moans and his satisfactory grunts.
Her lips were pasted on his and her legs around his torso, her eyes closed as if she was enjoying every bit of it. Both of their skin slapped each other as that man pounded on her.
Her sparkling grey eyes opened on feeling someone's presence and widened the very next second, both her sons stood by the door watching her sinful acts. She panicked and immediately pushed the man aside before wearing a robe and getting up from the bed.
"Go away from here. I'll be contacting you soon" She gritted to that unknown man who hurriedly wore back his clothes and left the room immediately, making his way out of the haveli.
"Irtaza, Shehryaar" She called lovingly and moved towards them before placing her hand on Mortaza's cheek.
"You both will not be telling about this to anyone. Ok?" She said in her sweet melodious tone, trying
Irtaza immediately pulled her hand away and looked at her with disdain.
His eyes showed complete hatred and pure rage.
He held Shehryaar's hand and ran towards his Dada's room leaving her mother behind.
Flashback ends
Since that day, Irtaza determined in his mind that he will never trust anyone, he will never believe anyone, and he will never love anyone. When his mother is betraying her children and is not worthy of his trust then how come anyone else could be sincere with him.
When his mother's love was fake then how could any love be real and when his mother wasn't trustworthy then how anyone else could be trustworthy?
People say that no love is parallel to a mother's love for her children. When his own mother's love was so weak for him then how anyone else could show him the real meaning behind true love.
His past was the base because of which he never had trusted anyone and now life has brought him to a point of life where an inner turmoil is running inside him. There was a clash between his heart and his brain. His heart wants to trust Zahra but his brain, keeping in view, his past experiences and his sixth sense, putting all the assumptions in front of him, are compelling him not to trust Zahra.
But he decided to place all his assumptions aside and trust his wife, suppressing all the negative thoughts and taking all the directions of his sixth sense just as a mere illusion because he didn't want to believe that Zahra could ever betray him like her mother. It would shatter his heart into pieces.
For the peace of his own heart, he suppressed this thought of Zahra's betrayal. Moreover, he thought that Zahra could not ever dare to deceive him because the innocence he witnessed on her face enabled him to think that way.
Her innocent actions, her childish behavior, her everything was captivating his heart.
His heart.
His dead heart.
Which became unable to feel anything after witnessing that horrendous incident of his life.
Flashback
"Mene tumhe talaq di."
"Talaq di."
"Talaq di."
(I divorce you)
Haider shouted those three words and smashed the divorce papers on her face, before leaving the place, his eyes held unshed tears. She stood in the middle of the lounge with a disheveled state while the whole family spectated the scene which happened in front of them.
"You can get out of here. We don't want your presence anymore in this house. It was my mistake that I had married my son to a whore like you. I am sparing your life only because you're part of this family and the daughter of my late brother. Now get out of here we don't even want to see your face now." His grandfather, Shabbir Haider Syed, barked at his mother, Jahan ara.
"Please, let me live here where will I go. I've no place to live. This haveli is the last place where I can seek some shelter. You had already killed Umer and no one can give me someplace where I can live. At least provide me some money." His mother cried while the whole family witnessed the scene occurring in front of their eyes.
Umer was the man with whom she was involved. Her parents had forcefully bonded her into this marriage and she had no choice but to accept this relationship and marry Haider but she loved Umer.
After two years of her marriage her parents died in a car accident, who used to live in the haveli before and that very month she got a message from Umer, who wanted her back and she happily accepted it.
When the head of the haveli, Shabbir Haider Syed came to know that his dearest daughter in law who was also his younger brother's eldest daughter is caught red-handed fucking a man, his anger knew no bounds then and he ordered his men to hunt out that man whom she was involved with and lay him dead in front of his eyes.
He was brutally killed by him, with his body cut into several pieces and thrown into the sea but not before making her spectate the whole scene of his brutal murder.
Then she was ordered by him to leave the haveli instantly but she had no place to live as she used to live here before her marriage.
"Please where will I go. Have mercy"
"Go wherever you want to but not here."
"Ok, I'm leaving. But let me first collect some clothes of mine." She said and wiped her tears away as she moved towards her room, entered inside, and closed the door, before giving a smile to both Irtaza and Shehryaar.
Several minutes passed but she didn't come out of her room. Not even a single sound came from the room.
His grandfather stood up and walked towards the room, while both Irtaza and Shehryaar followed behind him.
The door opened and their eyes widened.
Jahan ara committed suicide.
His mother committed suicide.
Her lifeless body hung from the ceiling fan as a rope was tightened around her throat.
Her eyes were opened. She didn't get a chance to close them.