"Beast used me," tears voluntarily fell as soon as I stepped out of his lair. And it kills me every time.
I walked away from the parameter of the surveillance camera in front of the big door. I leaned my whole weight on the hallway's carpeted wall.
"Beast has been using me all my life," I corrected myself, “And I let him do it!”
Then the silent weeping turned into howling. I bawled my eyes out and pounded the innocent wall.
I could feel my hands would probably swell any moment now.
The lamentation lasted for almost half an hour. While I'm in my deepest trance, a fragment of my memory vividly appeared,
"But you have to promise, you have to live! You have to live for all of us!" The sweet innocent woman in front of me yelled these words.
"Live and be happy!" The warm voice continued to pamper my heavy heart.
I took a deep breath. One. Twice. Thrice.
I clenched my fist, "I can't let Beast use me forever. I have to endure it all. I will endure it until my plan's perfect and ready, then one day..."
I paused, "One day, I'll get to live the freedom I've been longing for: the freedom we've been all longing for."
***
(Audrey's Dream - The Haunting Past)
Bog!
Bog! Bog!
I heard a disturbing sound while I'm asleep.
I knew for sure, I was half awake.
Bog!
Someone's been pounding on my apartment door.
Disoriented, I got up to check what was happening.
The disturbing sound continued as I go down the stairs,
"Can't you wait?! I said I'm coming!", I shouted angrily.
But when I tried to grab the doorknob, my hand passed through.
"Is this a dream?" I curiously asked myself.
I tried to analyze the situation so as not to panic.
I closed my eyes, opened them, and scratched to see if I was dreaming. I pinched myself but I felt nothing.
This was indeed a dream.
I shortly forgot about the person banging the door, but as soon as I roamed my eyes around, the visual of this place looked familiar.
Then it hit me.
"This isn't my apartment," my heart started to pound.
"This was our house," I started to panic. Why, because I knew where this dream would go.
Yet again, another worst nightmare.
I couldn’t breathe and my body suddenly felt heavy.
"Wake me up, please. Somebody, wake me up," I pleaded and pleaded but nobody responded.
A few moments after, I suddenly saw the teenage version of myself rushing towards the door.
I called out to her, "Hey wait!" but no voice comes out. She couldn't hear me. And she just passed through me.
"Hey!"I yelled with all my might.
What am I doing? It's a dream, right? Why am I crying? What is this I'm feeling?
I wanted to tell her so badly not to open that door. But I couldn't reach her. My voice couldn't reach her.
I knew it. This was what exactly happened nine years ago on that horrible night.
I heard the thunder's roar.
The rain poured heavily as if heaven was crying for me. The rain sent chills down my spine. Something bad will happen, and I knew it for sure.
I kneeled, "Please, stop this. I don’t want to remember it. Please!" I cried, closing my eyes as hard as I could, but it was pointless, I could see it in my mind. I covered my ears so I wouldn't hear anything, but the voice echoed in my mind.
"Stop this nightmare! Please, somebody, wake me up please!" I wailed. But no matter how desperate I was, I could still see them, and I could still hear them.
I know I buried this long ago, but it keeps on coming back.
If only I had the courage to remember all the things that happened on that horrible night, I would remember every single scene from that incident.
"Maybe I can..." then images came back, the scene where the fifteen-year-old Audrey was standing in front of the door.
I stared at her. My legs were wobbling, but I tried to be as close to her as possible.
The nightmare began.
The disturbing sounds continued. The younger Audrey opened the door, and men rushed into our house.
The mud on their shoes was all over the wooden floor. The trail of rainwater from their clothes soaked the whole living room. They were armed with guns.
They were goons.
"Wait. I knew them. Their faces seem younger, still, I know that they are Beast's men", I gathered.
The fifteen-year-old me was shocked. Seeing the scary figures ramming the house, she was paralyzed. She tried to scream, but her voice wouldn't come out.
She cried and cried, she tried to run but Joe and Diego easily caught her with their arms. The men, who went upstairs, went back to where we are, pulling my mom on her hair, and dragging my dad and sister downstairs.
The rage inside me despite knowing that this was just a dream overflowed, "Mom!!! Dad!!! Sister!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Seeing them made my heart want to jump. I wanted to hold them but I couldn't. I wanted to rescue all of them but how? They're long gone.
Lightning struck as this man spoke as if the higher deity bestowed him with power, "Give me Audrey now and I'll let the three of you live. I waited long enough. It's time to take what's mine!" I knew that voice. How could I ever forget that voice? That is the voice of a murderer.
My dad looked at him fiercely, "Never! You will never have her Beast. Just kill me!!!"
"Oh, that's easy, believe me. Not only you but all of you!" He laughed maniacally, he even added, "Are you sure that you're willing to sacrifice your own life, your wife, and your eldest daughter for this one kid?" Beast mockingly trampled on his pride.
"Yes. We are. I'll definitely kill you if you touch her," my father stood for me the best way that he could.
In the end, Beast mimicked him, "I'll definitely kill you if–", he made an outrageous expression on his face, turned to my dad, and said, "You know that she's mine! Or do you want me to remind you?"
My father's face went blank. He didn't speak but he looked at my younger self with a sad expression.
So my mind asked, "What did he mean? Why are you looking at me like that, dad?"
Beast's face was filled with anger and ordered Joe to hand me over to him. The fifteen-year-old me was still in a state of shock. Her little fingers were glued to her dress. She cried in front of him. She knew who he was.
She knew he was someone to be feared.
Beast stood in front of him like a giant and whispered something to this innocent girl,
"Do you want to see them dying?"
"No. Please", the little girl cried, pulling his shirt for mercy. She begged him.
He touched the little girl's face, and he smiled as if he had been possessed, "Then you'll do whatever I want to save them."
The little girl quietly nodded. I will never forget that face. Three things clouded her eyes: fear, anger, and hatred.
Beast, made his move, he shredded the little girl's dress with his bare fingers, and he looked at my father scornfully, "See? I can do whatever I want with her, and I can touch her," he crawled his hand inside the little girl's undergarment and felt the full breasts of the little girl, he laughed in a manic way. The little girl froze with her eyes shut.
"You're a demon! Let go of her!" The real me revolted against this monster, but my existence in this dream is nowhere near.
My sister dragged her feet to Beast, and with the littlest strength she had, she tried to get this monster's attention.
"Please," she whimpered.
She grabbed his footwear and scratched his left heel with her fingernails,
"Ah!" The mighty Beast screamed in pain, so he kicked her far away.
"Puta!" his face turned demonic as he cursed.
But that didn't stop my sister. She crawled back to his position, kissed her left food, and begged.
With a loud cry she spoke, "Please, take me instead. Let my sister go. I will be your slave. I'm begging you!"
My mom and dad were startled but they didn't say anything. They chose silence.
While the younger me broke loose from Beast's grip and ran towards her older sister, "Sister, no!"
As Beast's hand grabbed my sister's neck to lift her, I bellowed, "No!"
***
(Present Time)
"No!" I found myself back in my bed.
My hand was reaching to the ceiling, my whole body was sweating while I was panting.
I swallowed my saliva and caught my breath. I supported myself with my hands unknowingly clenching the blanket.
I was about to pass out, so I tried to get up and sat on the bed, leaning my back against the head board.
"That dream, again!" I panted.
"It's all coming back, bit by bit." I gasped for more air.
I was about to go back to bed when I heard someone knocking on my door.
"Miss!" The voice sounded familiar. I was now staying at the unit beside Torres’s.
I gathered my strength and brought my feet to the wooden ground.
Trying to find my balance, I walked slowly barefoot.
"Miss, it's me," I kept following the voice.
I felt extremely nauseous, but I managed to get to the door somehow.
The man kept on knocking, " Miss, somebody complains about your whining. I just want to check if you're okay."
His words were inaudible. I couldn't understand a thing.
I covered my mouth trying not to puke as I turned the knob and opened the door,
I saw Beast's men and that made me tremble, dream and reality seemed to clash.
I closed my eyes again and took one last look. There, I saw the caretaker,
"Oh, Senor–", I muttered weakly.
"Miss–" Mr. But was saying something when he was pushed aside.
A masculine man, with his men at the back stepped forward,
"Woman, are you trying to keep the whole building awake", Oh, it was Torres for sure. I knew his scent. But he sounded irritated, why?
Before I could even speak, I extended my right arm, but suddenly lost my balance. My legs gave in and now, I was looking at the ceiling. The light seemed so bright until it twinkled.
I gasped for air.
My fragile sweating body was carried by his healthy arms.
"Where is he taking me?" my disoriented mind questioned myself, then I collapsed.