Chapter Twenty - Three
Shirley stopped talking to me. It had been a whole week and throughout this time she completely ignored me. I tried talking to her but she did not reply to me. She simply pretended that she did not hear me.
Or pretended that I did not even exist.
She wakes up in the morning, gets freshened up and leaves for school without me. Not only that, she went as far as exchanging the seat with another girl, so that she did not have to sit with me. I was invisible to her. No, for her, I just stopped existing because I went against the very thing she told me not to.
Maybe, for a very good reason.
I still could not believe her story. It seemed too ... I don't know, unrealistic and unbelievable? My mind was unable to wrap around this whole incident. Mike was not like that. He did not appear to be a person who would do this. It must have been some misunderstanding between her and Mike. I was pretty sure that Mike's friend was the one who tried to sell her ... Sell her! As if, she was some commodity to be given away. It was disgusting. If I get a chance to beat up those… whatever.
But, I still think that it was not Mike.
I would have asked her about it - if she ever confronted Mike, but she wasn't speaking to me. In fact, she did not say a word to me after our fight. I was guilty and regretted the harsh things that I had said to her. I went a little overboard, but at that moment, I could not control myself. It is hard to control, when you are so angry. Anger blind us and we say stupid things that we don't mean at that moment. Our only motto becomes to make other person realise that they are wrong, no matter how.
The heartache of hearing what Shirley had been through tore away at me, but what was even worse, was her pretending that I cease to exist for her anymore. It was like someone kept squeezing my heart everytime, I went unheard from her.
Now, guilt was of no use, since Shirley had already made up her mind. She was ignoring me. I had so many questions about her story that it was hard for me not to just grab her by the arms and shake her until she began to talk to me again and spill everything, but I did not. All of my efforts in the past week, to make her speak with me, went in vain because she was hell bent on ignoring me.
About the ignoring thing, Mike was doing the same thing. Well, in all truth and matter, I did the same. Since last week, I have not contacted Mike. I was in clear need for a break since so much was happening, therefore I avoided contacting him. But he did not reach out to me either. After last week, when he dropped me off to my dorm room, right after we had spent time in his house, he didn't text me back. Or later that night.
There were no messages, no calls, no emails, no - nothing. I didn't even see him in the commonly used hallways, where we usually see each other. Maybe, he waited somewhere else for us, like in our hideaway place or the backside of our school or maybe he waited for me on the corners of rooftops, where we escaped before, but I did not know. Because, I did not go there to see him.
Whatever it was, he did not contact me. Perhaps, he got busy in his life for some reason, just like I did. Or perhaps something else came up. Whatever it may have been, his reasons would have been a lot different from mine. Maybe, not so painful and depressing. His absence made things difficult.
It did not bother me, though. His absence was a blur to me because the centre of my attention was somebody else. In fact, I hardly noticed it except whenever I was reminded of Shirley's incident. I was hurt and frustrated by Shirley's side. Figuring that she would not answer my questions about that incident, I decided that I would confront Mike on my own today.
I would ask him if this incident was the reason for the beef between Shirley and him. I would ask him straight out if what Shirley was telling was real. Did he, indeed, set her up to pay for his drugs? That, he even do drugs? I would ask him all these questions on his face. Because, deep down inside me, I did not believe that he was like that. Somewhere in my heart, I felt like there was some huge misunderstanding between him and Shirley. Maybe, somehow, I will be able to resolve whatever bad - blood was going on between them.
"Did you hear what happened?" I heard some girl speak in the back of the seats.
"Yeah ... obviously. Everybody knows." Another girl exclaimed.
Usually, I did not pay attention to the gossip, but today, for some reason, I decided to listen in. Currently, I was sitting in my third class of the day. Like, starting from the week, Shirley had managed to avoid me in the first class of the day. Her ignorance was still getting the best of me, so as a way of distraction, I decided to pay attention to these girls' conversations. Our teacher was yet to come and our whole class was hardly full.
"What happened? What's going on? I don't know. Someone tell me." Another girl chimed in.
One girl asked the one who asked the question. "What do you mean, you don't know. Everybody knows." She said annoyed.
"Oh ho. Just tell me. I'm the only one who's left behind." The first girl complained. Without even turning my back, I could literally feel everyone rolling their eyes.
"One of the graduating seniors from our highschool turned out to be pregnant." One explained excitedly.
"What?" Asked one.
"Yes. Turned out that she had been pregnant throughout her senior year but she hid it until she passed out of our school." Explained one girl.
"Whoa ... really? That's impossible. How did she hide it? When did she find out?" One person questioned. Now, their voices hushed and when I glanced over my shoulder they were huddling close together. Me being snoopy, their conversation catching my interest, I leaned in too. To hear what they were saying.
"I don't know much but she missed her period once. When she went to the hospital for a check up, she found out that she was pregnant. Her boyfriend and she decided to keep it a secret together. I don't know much, somebody told me that she was able to hide the pregnancy because when her stomach started showing up, it had turned winter. Not only that but she also, taking many leaves ..." The girl's words faded into distance, as my mind wandered on her one sentence. And it almost gave me a heart attack. The hair on my back neck stood up as something struck me.
She Missed Her Periods.
When was the date for my periods to start? Last week.
LAST WEEK.
Suddenly, I turned in my chair, my back straightening. My whole body went into an alert mode. I was late.
The teacher entered the class along with other students, telling students to settle in as he was about to teach something that … but my brain had stopped working.
Maybe, maybe, I was overreacting. I mean, stress was a major cause for periods being late but what if ... what if ...
Was there a possibility that I was pregnant? God, no. That can't happen. After all, Mike used cond -
Oh Shit!
Oh Shit! Oh Shit!
He did not use a condom.
How could he forget? How could I not notice? Now, there was a definite possibility that I might be ...
I tapped my feet throughout the class in nervousness. As soon as the lunch bell rang, I was out the door and going to the classroom. Students were not allowed to leave until the school was over but I did not care. The punky kids of school had found many ways to bunk school and avoid being caught. In my time doing the same with Mike, I had learned a few. So, today had to be that.
Somehow, I managed to sneak out of the school without being caught and decided to head to a nearby store. My heart dropped in my stomach as soon as I entered the store. I had to be the one to buy a pregnancy test. I could not afford to go to a hospital, nor could I take that risk but a pregnancy test from here? It could help me determine how valid my fear was.
The store had only two to three people, after all it was the afternoon, which I was thankful for. However, still, having these two to three people was scary enough.
Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I headed to the aisle where faminine products were placed. With my shaking hand, I picked up a pregnancy test box and took it. With my sweaty hand, I handed the cashier the box, who was a lady thankfully, and paid for it. When she saw who was buying it, she frowned but then went on her job like this was way common for then it naturally was.
Maybe she had seen many girls my age buy these things but she had not seen a girl Like me, who had bought this test. I was different from all the other girls. And that was the main problem.
Anyway, I sauntered to the store's loo and went in to use one of the stalls. I read the instructions and peed on the side of the stick the instructions had directed me to.
I waited for two minutes until ...
Oh no.
A tear rushed down my cheek.
I was pregnant.