Chapter Seven
In the afternoon, Shirley did leave. However, before going to her orphanage she told me that she would bring my favourite donuts and that we would talk all night. At last, she waved at me from outside the class and disappeared from sight. It was a long wait after that.
Right after Shirley went to see her orphanage, I attended my English class. It felt way more boring than normal. Time went slower and I did not participate in class that much. Probably because Shirley was not at my side. That was normal, I guess. It was supposed to happen when you share your seat with somebody daily and then suddenly the seat beside you was left empty, or sat by somebody else. Not having her by my side, made me feel very empty. Lonely.
Lonely was not a word I would use for what I felt at lunch time.
As soon as the bell rang, indicating the end of class, every student rushed towards the cafeteria. I was slow to pack up my stuff. I was not in a hurry. To be honest, I was really hungry but knowing that I will be eating alone without Shirley, I was not too eager to eat lunch.
I walked to the cafeteria and picked up the food that I usually eat. My whole meal along with the rest of the amenities here, were covered by the scholarship I got here. So, for me and for every other student who got the scholarship like Shirley, the food was free of cost.
Ignoring the fact that I was alone, I picked up my usual seat in the corner, where Shirley and I sat together. I started eating the egg sandwich from my plate. While I chewed on the food, I observed people around me.
Everywhere I looked people were happily chatting, laughing and eating together. The talking crowd drowned every other sound in this big cafeteria. All of a sudden, I felt like the odd one in this place. Sitting alone like a loner with no friends. Not that I could do anything about it. So, I just decided that it was for the best for me to just focus on my eating and forget about everyone else. And so I did.
I ate as much as I could but still I could not eat much. So, as much as it pained me to throw away the rest of the food, even knowing the value of it so deeply, I threw it in the trash bin near me and walked out of the cafeteria.
There was still time for the lunch to be over and for the next period to start. Normally, I would have gone to the library and found something to study but today, I was just not in the mood. The weather was sunny and the ground was empty, and having nothing to do, I decided to go sit on one of the empty benches.
It has been a time when I just somewhere alone and enjoy the weather. As I sat down on the bench, near a tree, I realised how nice it was. The quietness. For once, I pushed back all the thoughts about books and assignments. All the homework that I needed to do.
I closed my eyes and raised my face to the sun. Letting its warmth seep into me.
"You like the fresh air a lot, huh?" I jerked at the sudden intrusion of a voice. My eyes snapped open to find Mike standing near me. I didn't even realise when he came here. He did not make any noise, not even footsteps. That was freaky. He was standing with one hand in pant and a smirk playing on his face. Like he had caught me cheating on an exam or something.
After the initial shock wore off, I gave him a smile. His words gave me those warm fuzzy feelings that I had felt yesterday. "Yeah ... I mean no ... No, I mean ..." I shook my head at my stupidity. What was I trying to say? Why weren't the words forming correctly in my mouth? Why?
Mike let out a chuckle at my stupidity, finding humour at my uncollected condition. He took a step toward me and I took it as if he wanted to sit. Therefore, I scooted over and pulled my bag in my lap to create some space for him. Mike took the invitation and sat down.
He sat just by side and that grabbed my attention for more than a few seconds. Never had a guy sit so close to me. It made me nervous and it had my stomach coiling inside, so I decided to ignore it. I was already so not myself around him, if I let myself ponder on it more than a few seconds, I might go into a seizure.
Trying to distract myself from that, I gathered my wits and said, "What I meant to say was, that yes, I do like fresh air but it's not what I always do. It's because you only always catch me doing that." I told him. Then I whispered to myself, "Even though it's only the second time we met."
Even though I whispered my last sentence and it was only supposed to be heard by me, Mike understood what I said. And at that, he let out a belly laugh. It was not supposed to be funny or anything. It was definitely not supposed to be something to laugh at, but the way his shoulder shook and he threw his head back, I felt like my words were worth it. He laughed at me. He found me funny.
I smiled internally, even though I was embarrassed. Both of these feelings made me shy. At last, when he finally had his fill, he stopped laughing. He wiped the side of his eyes to get rid of tears that had emerged as a result of his laughter.
"You know. If you want, we could make our second meeting into a third one." He suggested. At his suggestion, my stomach did a flip. Was this wrong? If my father would find out about it then I would get beaten badly. And my brother would particularly take part in the deed. Talking to a guy, it in itself meant that I was bringing shame to my family, but going out with one? That meant the way straight to hell. My father will buture me.
On the other hand, I remembered how Shirley always told me to live my life. She always told me that as long as my parents were not here and they did not get to know what was going on here, I could live a life of a free bird. As long as my parents did not know. But then again, she warned me to stay away from Mike as well. Should I listen to her?
I tucked my hair back behind my ear. Not sure what to do. "I don't know. Yesterday, you kind of snapped at me for not knowing how to behave around a guy. And I'm pretty sure that you count as one." I replied. Suddenly, I realised that I just gave him a witty answer without ever intending to be one.
For one short second, I saw his eyes darken. But the moment was so short that I was not sure if I had imagined it or did it really happen. He shook his head, looking embarrassed? He was looking embarrassed?
"I'm sorry about that. I let booze control my talking yesterday." He said. "I should not have snapped like that. I did not mean anything I said yesterday, nor I mean the way I said it. I hope you can forgive me for that." Mike said, softly. He stared at me, waiting for some sort of answer and when I finally nodded, he gave me a smile.
After that none of us spoke. I glanced at the sun when suddenly, the bell rang loudly. I jolted at the loud noise and realised that the lunch was over. Mike stood up from my side and soon, so did I. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at me. "So, should I take your acceptance of the apology as a yes for our third meeting?" He asked.
My mind went over all the possible questions and things. The guilt of talking to a guy was already eating away at me but above that the fear about my family finding out about it made me want to reject him on the spot. But then I recalled Shirley's advice to live life. I recalled yesterday how awesome it had felt to let go just for a few moments. Letting go of the burden of expectations and fear of my family and living as a normal teenager. And I felt that it was worth the risks for a few moments of life.
Thus, with my heart racing and my subconscious screaming at me to say no, I nodded my head in yes. I wanted to have a say in my life. If only for a few moments or even a few seconds. I wanted to live free, like how a girl should feel. I suppressed all the feelings of panic and told him yes.
Mike smiled at me when I told him yes. His grin got wider by the seconds.
"Great. Then, I would call you and share you all the details." He told me. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. With that he hugged me in a sudden reaction before he pulled back in seconds and ran away smiling like he had won a lottery. I smiled at his disappeared figure.