Chapter Nine
It was close to midnight when Shirley returned. She knocked on the door and I strode over and opened the door. I was greeted by a very grinning face Shirley herself, who looked like she went through a rollercoaster if her hair were any indication.
"Viri." Shirley let out a little squeal before I put a finger on my lips, silently telling her to quiet down before hugging her. Her hands were full with a box and shopping bags, so I pulled back quickly, taking some of her stuff to help her. Shirley let herself in while I quietly shut the door behind us.
Both of us walked over to our bed before plopping down it. Shirley let out a sigh as soon as she sat down. Looking like she was exhausted, which was the case since she was gone all afternoon and just came back, it was midnight. She must have met everyone in her orphanage, including the new ones who just came. She must have so much fun, but it was clear from her face that it took a toll on her. Especially travelling. We did not really go anywhere, that included long distance. Well, mostly me, but her as well. This long distance travel must have worn her down. It was far, even for her.
"Oh, how much I missed this dormroom ..." Shirley exhaled. I smiled as I stood from the bed. Walking to our mini fridge, I took out a bottle of water for her. She must be thirsty, no doubt.
"You missed the dormroom while you were there? That's not right." I commented, handing her the bottle of water before taking a seat beside her on the bed.
"Well, just not the dormroom but you too, my buttercup." She said, pinching my cheeks. I rolled my eyes before swatting her hands off my face. Shirley retreated her hands, grinning like an idiot.
"Did you cause any trouble?" She asked between gulping down water. My mind abruptly forced the face of Mike in the front of my mind but I pushed it back. Now was not the right time to talk about him. Shirley just came back, it would be unfair of me to start rambling about him, right at this moment.
Ignoring her question, I asked her the main question. "How was your trip? Did something change in your orphanage or everything is like it was before?" Shirley's eyes turned dreamy and I already knew that her trip went well. Shirley nodded her head. "It went pretty good, but -" She paused. "But?" I prodded her. "But ... things have changed." She told me. Her voice went from dreamy to a mature one.
"Changed, how?" I asked her. Shirley shook her head. "I don't know. I mean the place was just as before, well except for the few changes here and there, like changing of the paint here and there and building two new rooms, other than that, it was just that same."
"So, how was it different from the last time you visited?" I asked her. Shirley appeared to be shaking with some sadness.
"It did not feel like home anymore. It did not feel like a place where I had grown. It felt foreigner." She explained. Taking off her shoes, Shirley sat cross legged on her bed, picking a pillow to hold it close herself. "Nobody I knew was there anymore except for a few. Some of them have been sent to their new foster care or they have been adopted. Some got scholarships, although the number was very few. Our caretaker has changed and so have many others. New posts have been created and many new faces have joined that place. A new patch of kids were there, none that I knew. It was just - it was not the same anymore." She said, "My home did not feel like home anymore." She murmured to herself. "Maybe, it was because it never was." She concluded.
I could feel the sadness, seeping through her. Sucking me in, making me feel like a bad friend. I wish I could do something that could take that sadness away from her. Wish there was a way I could cheer her on.
I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. Wanting to comfort her but finding no way to do that. "I'm sorry to hear that Shirley. I really am, but I wonder what happens when we grow old." I told her, and she returned it with a very sad - sad smile. I continued. "Maybe, it is the new beginning of your life. Now, you will become a mature adult who will take care of herself and build herself a home, all on her own. Maybe, it's a sign from god that you should start new and should only look forward to it." I told her. I told her that because it was true and that was how I felt, but I also said it because I wanted to comfort her.
Shirley let out a teasing grin. "I could talk about the sad things all the time, just to see you behave like a big girl even when you are nothing more than a toddler in her pyjamas." She said, and just like that all my emotions that wanted to comfort her felt out of the window. I snatched my hand back, snorting. Shirley let out a low belly laugh at my reaction and I suddenly wanted to hit her with the pillow she held.
"Well, I think you might change your opinion if you find out that I have, in fact, stirred up trouble by going on a date with a boy who was supposed to be our senior." I replied back to her, annoyed by her smug face. However, as soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted it. Shit, that wasn't supposed to come out any time soon.
I glanced up, horror filling my veins, knowing I will see an expression that I have been dreading to see. A surprised face that had a mix of shock latched to it. Why could I not keep my mouth shut?
"What?" Shirley asked me as soon as my eyes met hers. "What did you say?" Shirley asked. I shrugged and Shirley let out an excited squeal. I covered her mouth, stopping her from waking our neighbours. She really should know more than squeal like that. We could be complained about.
"Really? With who? Do I know him? Do you know him? How long has this been going on, under my nose? No, wait - wait a second ..." She stopped and her eyes widened with horror. Worry took over her features and I knew what was coming my way.
"No, please don't tell me that it is Mike." She said, her eyes filled with distaste and disbelief. Shirley grabbed my hand, making me look in her eyes. "Please tell me that it is not, Mike." She said, asking for confirmation.
My heart dropped inside my stomach. What should I tell her now? I knew that she had warned me about him, and she never - ever says that about any other guy, therefore there must be a reason why she warned me about him. But, I did not know that reason and I saw no reason why I should not give him a chance.
He was good - looking, charming, funny but most of all, he was the first guy who had given me any sort of attention. I knew that yesterday, he had snapped at me out of frustration but that had happened to me too. I had snapped at Shirley many times when she annoyed me a little too much. Or whenever my day was going horrible, I felt cranky and hated as much as a chair or table for existing. That was with every person. Last night could be one of those nights for him as well. After all, he thought that he would get to sleep with me ... but he could not because I denied. Maybe it was his frustration that had seeped into our conversation?
A finger snapped in front of my face and I heard that Shirley was calling for my name. I had gone lost in thoughts. My focus shifted back on Shirley and I saw that her brows were drawn in. "He is. He is, isn't it. You are going on a date with Mike?" Shirley asked me. Her face sliding into an understanding expression. I could not let that happen. I needed her support, I needed her to not judge me on the only decision that I had made my whole life. If she got to know that it was Mike then she would only support me half - heartedly, no, she will in fact, she would despise Mike and my decision to do this. Or worse, she would try to convince me to walk out of this and to maintain my distance from Mike, after all she had warned me about him. She would try to argue with me and I can't let that happen. I knew that I would still take my chances, even if she disapproved, with Mike, which in turn would sour our friendship. And, I can't lose her.
I wanted her by my side even if that meant that I had to lie. And so, I lied.
"No, no. That's not like it." I told her, shaking my head at her like she was being dumb by even assuming that I would date Mike. "Didn't you warn me about him? Then, why would I date him?" I asked Shirley. Feeling terrible for lying to her like this, but I have no choice.
"Then how is it, Viri?" Shirley asked, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. She was not buying what I was saying. I gave her a smile. "I can't tell you the name right now." I told her. Shirley frowned at me. "Yeah, that clears the doubt." Shirley said sarcastically. "Just know that it is not Mike. I can't tell you right now but if our date goes well then I will certainly tell you who it is." I answered her.
"If it's not Mike, as you claim, then what is the problem in telling me the name? Now, or later won't make a difference, Viri." Shirley retorted. She was right but I could not come up with any other excuse than this. I could give her any other name later if my date with Mike did not go as planned but if I told her now ... No, I can't tell her now.
"It does to me. Please, just trust me okay." I took Shirley's hand in mine and squeezed her hand. "I need you to trust me in this." I told her. "I - I just can't tell you the name right now but I will. Please, can't you just support me on this one without asking a question?" I asked her. Needing her to say yes, I gave her a pleading look. Shirley sighed.
"Fine, don't tell me. I trust this, but are you sure that it is not Mike?" She asked me, I nodded eagerly and she smiled at me. Opening up the box of donuts, she took out one and stuffed one in her mouth.
"Tell me everything." Shirley said and I smiled.