There was no time to be embarrassed.
Lucia had to throw on one of Damon's long-tailed shirts and hurry to the house. There, in the bedroom where she’d been using since Julietta had gone to the hospital the first time, she hurriedly dressed and then, despairing of getting a comb through her damp, hopelessly tangled hair, she looped down the hall to find Julietta huddled in her bed.
‘‘They’re four minutes apart and they’re strong.” Julietta’s eyes were wide with dark smudges beneath. There was a waver in her voice too, but it was stronger than it had been at the hospital before. And she didn’t look panicky, just nervous. "The doctor said the more time, the better. I hope this is enough.’’
“It’s enough,’’ Lucia assured, and prayed that she was right.
Moments later Damon came in. He wore clean jeans and an open-necked blue shirt, which wasn’t entirely tucked in. Still, he looked far more put together than Lucia knew she did. Having one’s hair combed was indeed a help.
'‘Ready?’’ he asked Julietta.
She nodded toward the small suitcase by the dresser. "All packed. I just… need to go in and see Alex.”
"You’re going to wake him?’’ Damon frowned. Julietta shook her head. ‘‘Just see him.’’ Holding her abdomen, she trundled into Alex’s room and bent over him for just a moment.
Her hand touched his hair and he stirred slightly, but didn’t wake. Then awkwardly she leaned down and dropped a kiss on his cheek. She looked at Lucia, standing in the door to the hallway.
'‘All set now.”
Lucia stepped out of the way. Damon, who had put her case in the car, was just coming back in. He looked at Lucia, his face whiskers shadowed and haggard, with a hint of desperation in his eyes.
Lucia thought she knew what the desperation was about. He’d just realized that one of them was going to have to go to the hospital with Julietta.
One of them might even have to coach her through her labor and delivery. One of them was going to have to tell Mr. Walter. And one of them was going to get to stay home with Alex.
She knew what he expected her to say. She was, after all, the logical one to stay home. She was the nanny.
But she was his nanny. And in this case there was no deliberation at all. She had to do what was best for her charge. And in this case it was letting him stay with Alex. It was, if the truth were known, best for Alex, too.
They were brothers. They needed each other.
Later, when Alex was awake, when he could be a buffer between Damon and the pain, it would soon be tough for them to come to the hospital.
She held out a hand to him. His' was cold and clammy. She gave it a squeeze. ‘‘You stay,” she said. "I’ll go.”
Something flickered in his eyes. Something relaxed in his body. His fingers returned the squeeze and he noted. “We'll come later.”
Julietta looked at the two of them and smiled right.
One other contraction hit. Then she said, "We’d be going.’’
“A girl?” Alex looked doubtful when Damon gave him the news several hours later. Julietta’s labor had been quick. The baby was small, but apparently strong.
"Mother and daughter are doing well,’’ Lucia had called and told him a while ago. "You have a sister.”
A sister. A dainty dark-haired child who would grow up to knock men’s socks off, Damon had no doubt. He supposed that meant he would have to be vigilant, pro texting her from rakes and scoundrels. From men like him.
Men who took and didn’t give.
But, some voice inside him argued. He hadn’t taken from Lucia last night. She had given and he had received. It was the most beautiful gift he’d ever had.
That was certain. He would cherish it for the rest of his life.
He would cherish her.
But he wouldn’t marry her. He didn’t dare.
‘‘Girls aren’t bad he said now, his voice a little rough. And at Alex’s still dubious look, he ruffled the boy’s hair. "You’ll see.”’
Alex hopped around the kitchen, having finished the bowl of cereal Damon had given him. "When, can we go soon?”
"Soon," Damon promised. ‘‘Just let me clean up here.”
In fact it took a little longer than he thought. He had two phone calls, one from Claudia about regular business matters and another more desperate one from Brian a little later. He took some notes and promised to get right on it.
"Do that,’’ Brian said. ‘‘And when the hell are you coming back? You’re out of the cast now, aren’t you?”
'‘Yeah. It’s just… I’ve been needed here.”
“Well, you’re needed here too, old man. thought you weren't going to let your father run you.’’
"He’s not. It has nothing to do with him.”
‘‘Whatever you say,’’ Brian said. But Damon didn’t need much imagination to hear the skepticism in his voice.
He hung up rather more forcefully than necessary, then turned to Alex. ‘‘Come on. Let’s go to the hospital.’’
She was a dainty dark-haired child. Just over five pounds, with a red mottled face and the longest eyelashes he’d ever seen.
'‘She looks sort of like a monkey,’’ Alex whispered to him nervously, out of Julietta’s hearing.
She did, in fact. But, ‘‘She’ll grow out of it,’’ Damon assured him.
“Did I look like a monkey?’’ Alex asked.
“I didn’t see you when you were a baby,’’ Damon admitted.
"How come?’’
“I was...out of the country.’’ And wouldn’t have been willing to come and see this new half-brother even if he hadn’t been though. But of course he didn’t tell Alex that.
He’d considered Alex’s birth more of his father’s folly. It wasn’t enough that he married a trophy wife young enough to be his daughter! Then the old man had to go and get her with child. Damon had been furious When he’d found out.
Now he didn’t know what he felt.
Not fury certainly. Somewhere over the course of his stay in the cottage he’d seen real affection between his father and Julietta. As hard as it was to fathom, they actually acted like they loved each other. If he hadn't believed it before, he certainly did after seeing his father's white face when he got off the plane that afternoon and then overhearing his father’s conversation with his wife.
That was no man talking to a trophy. That was a man in love.
But if seeing that his father really cared for Julietta had reconciled Damon to his father’s second marriage, it hadn’t stopped the hurt.
What about his own mother? If his Father actually had the capacity to love, why hadn’t he loved her?
Of course Damon wouldn’t ask.
He hadn’t seen his father since right after the old man’s heart attack. Seeing his father with tubes and bags and monitors all around him had made Damon ill.
He’d felt himself get light-headed and, though assured by the nurse that his father was holding his own, Damon couldn’t stay.
‘‘Better if I don’t," he’d told Lucia when she asked the next day if he was coming to the hospital with them. "Give him another one just to see me there.”
She hadn’t argued with him, which pretty much proved she felt the same way. She came back later and told him that things were looking good.
“He’s stable. It was a mild attack, and his being in the hospital when it happened helped a lot.’’
Every day he’d improved—or so Damon heard. He never went back.
Today, of course, he did. When Lucia called and said the baby had been born, that Georgiana Elizabeth Walter was alive and well and snuggled in her mother’s arms, he’d known great relief.
He’d been glad to take Alex, to stand outside the nursery and hold the Little boy up so they could both look at the child in the pink blanket cloned bassinets.
“What do you think of your sister?"
The quiet, raspy Greeks accented voice behind Damon almost caused him to drop Alex. He turned, holding the boy like a shield.
‘‘Papa!’’ Alex crowed, and wriggled to get down, took a turn and embraced the man who leaned on a walker and looked at them both.
Reluctantly, slowly, Damon let him down, then watched as the boy skirted the walker, then slowed down and carefully put his arms around his father’s legs.
One of Mr. Walters' hands left the walker to touch Alex’s hair, and stroke its softness. His gaze dropped, too.
And then he raised it again.
“Damon?”
There was something hard and huge in Damon's throat. It took him a moment to get the word past it, but finally he managed. ‘‘Congratulations.”
And then he turned away.
She found him at the far end of the parking lot. He was standing with his back to the hospital, staring off into space, but she doubted if he was seeing anything. She had witnessed the encounter between him and his father from the end of the hall. She’d seen the emotions as they had flickered across his face one by one.
Surprise. Hurt. Need. Resignation. And then she’d seen him turn and walk away. She’d wanted to run after him then. But she’d had to wait to be sure that Walter could manage Alex.
And by the time she’d finally got father and younger son settled in and visited Julietta’s room, Damon was long gone.
"Sit down," Mr. Walter had commanded her when she moved restlessly about. But Lucia couldn’t. She prowled the hallway, went to the waiting room, then came back.
Even then she couldn’t settle. In desperation she looked out the window and that’s when she saw him.
"I’ve got to go,’’ she said. And, not caring what any of them thought, she hurried out.
"Lucy?" She heard Julietta’s concerned voice follow her.
"Miss Stone!’’ Mr. Walters' peremptory tone clearly expected her to stop.
But Lucia didn’t stop. Not until she was within ten feet of Damon, facing his back. Then she did. She stopped, panicking.
It was practically the first time she’d spoken to him since they’d made love. They’d shared a few necessary sentences since—but none had to do with what had happened between them.
Now didn’t seem exactly like the time to talk either. But maybe it was time for something other than talk. Sometimes, she told the parents she worked with, talk didn’t say what needed to be said.
Now, Lucia suspected, it was one of those times.
So, gearing up her courage, unsure what kind of a reception she was going to get, she came up behind him.
"Damon."
He stiffened, then turned slowly, his eyes meeting hers. It was all still there: the hurt, the confusion, the pain, the resignation. But, for just an instant, she saw something else—something more. Something, she dared think, for her.
She opened her arms and stepped forward, sliding them around him, pressing against him. She didn’t kiss him. She only held him. I love you, she told him silently with her arms and her body and her warmth.
This wasn’t the passion she’d found with Damon from the first moment. This was something deeper and something far more precious.
It was love.
She felt a tremor run through him. He stood stone still. A statue. Not even breathing. And then she felt the weight as he laid his head against her hair. His arms came around her too. His hands locked against her back, holding them together. He drew a long shuddering breath. First one, then another.
“I love you.’’ She said the words now. She pulled back just a little, enough to look up into his eyes. "I love you,” she repeated.
His gaze dropped for a moment, then lifted to meet hers again. ‘‘I know,’’ he said, his voice ragged. ‘‘I know you do.”
He made a reservation for London that afternoon. He would leave the following morning. He told Lucia what he’d done that afternoon when she brought Alex home for dinner.
"You’re leaving?’’ She stared at him in disbelief.
He hardened his heart against it. It was better this way, he assured himself. Yes, she loved him. But that didn’t matter. When has love ever brought anything but pain? Look what it had done to his mother, after all.
He didn’t want to hurt her the way his father had hurt his mother. He was sparing Lucia pain.
If he was honest, of course, he had to admit he was sparing himself pain too.
"I need to get back,’’ he said implacably, ignoring the expression on her face. ‘‘I have a life there. A job. It’s where I belong. I only stayed because of Alex. You know that. But Alex will be alright now. The baby is here. Julietta is fine. In a few days even he will be home. No one will need me.”
He was glad Alex was playing in the other room. At least this time his little brother couldn’t contradict him.
And Lucia wouldn’t. He knew that.
He knew, despite the pain he saw in her eyes, that she would let him go. It was the right thing for both of them. She could do far better than him. Ultimately she would understand that.
And he?
He would be fine. He would be fine. He would say it until it came true.
'‘I’m going in the morning,’’ he told her. ‘‘I have to go."
He wouldn’t do it. She didn’t believe him.
He couldn’t walk away from her so easily, she told herself. He couldn’t just turn his back. He loved her too! She knew he did.
But she couldn’t insist. It was for him to say the words. They would mean nothing if she had to drag them out of him.
Say it, she begged silently. Say you love me.
But he didn’t say anything at all.
He would see reason, Lucia told herself. She passed on as cheerful a smile as she could manage and, after supper, took Alex back to the hospital to see his parents and his new baby sister. They brought helium balloons, one for each, and Alex carried them proudly to each room.
They took Georgiana’s to the nursery first. While Alex watched, the nurse as she tied the pink and silver foil bobbing heart to her bassinet.
‘‘So she can see it when she looks up,’’ Alex explained to Lucia when he studied his sister through the glass.
“She is looking better," he decided. ‘‘The first time I saw her, she looked pretty much like a monkey." Lucia hid a smile. ‘‘She’ll get better,’’ she promised.
Alex nodded sagely. “That’s what Damon says.”
Lucia couldn’t count the number of times over the last few days that Alex had quoted his brother.
Damon was clearly a hero in the little boy’s eyes. Alex would miss Damon, He couldn’t leave Alex, could he?
They took Julietta her balloon next. Alex’s mother was very much herself now that she’d had some rest and was past the stress of labor. She looked much more relaxed today. And she was thrilled with the balloon Alex gave her, tying it to the rail at the foot of her bed, saying,
"So I can see it all the time.’’
'‘Just like Georgie,’’ he said happily, hopping from one foot to the other. ‘‘Lucia, and I brought Georgie one, too. An’ this one’s for my daddy.’’ He jiggled the one with the happy face on it.
"Wonderful,’’ Julietta said. "He’ll be so happy to get it. Georgiana and I are going to come home tomorrow, and Daddy’s going to have to stay here all alone."
‘‘How come?’’ Alex asked.
‘‘Because he needs a few more day's rest,’’ Julietta told him and Alex’s lower lip jutted out. ‘‘But he’s okay?’’ he insisted.
Julietta patted the bed and Alex scrambled up next to her, snuggling in. ‘‘He’s okay, darling. He’ll be fine.” She gave him a quick hug. The bedside phone rang and She picked it up. And her eyes lit up immediately.
“He’s right here,’’ she said. “Yes. Good idea. Are you sure you can walk that far? Alright then.’’ She hung up.
‘‘That was Daddy,’’ she told Alex. ‘‘He’s coming to visit, and he wants to know if you’ll meet him at the nursery. You can take his balloon.”
Alex beamed and hopped off the bed, running to the door.
“Walk,” His mother called after him.
He slowed, but not much.
Julietta smiled. ‘‘He’s going to keep things lively,” she said, shaking her head. ‘‘I wish you were going to be staying to help me with him.’’
Lucia felt as if the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. ‘‘I’m not?’’ She shouldn’t have said the words. They weren’t professional. If Julietta didn’t want her, she had no right to question it.
Julietta’s brow furrowed. ‘‘Well, I assumed you’d be going with Damon when he goes... wherever he goes. We saw you two." She added, with a tip of her head toward the window, ‘‘when you were in the parking lot. We thought...”
Yes, Lucia had thought, too. Or maybe hoped was the truer word.
Now she shook her head. ‘‘No, Damon is leaving. Tomorrow morning.”
"What!"
Lucia shrugged. ‘‘He has to go.”
"You love him." Julietta had no doubt about that. Of course, she’d seen them together and, during the last few days of her pregnancy, she’d had nothing to do but watch and think.
Lucia knew there was no point in denying it. ‘‘He’s still leaving,’’ she said.
“He loves you, too.”
She wouldn’t argue that either, though she suspected might. ‘'I don’t think he wants to love anyone.” She looked at Julietta, tried to smile, to sound brave and determined, but there was such compassion in Julietta’s eyes that Lucia couldn't look at Juliette as she spoke. Her gaze slid away.
‘Oh, Damon,' Julietta murmured sadly. She shook her head and looked at Lucia again. ‘Oh, my dear.