Kendra knew now what true loneliness was.
She thought she did before, but she had never realised that there was loneliness, and then there was loneliness.
She now understood the word in its true, raw form.
Artemis had gone back to her hometown for a little while Rhea, her nanny had also gone to Kreiway to see her bouncy baby grandson.
As for Maymunah, the she-wolf told herself that she’d rather hang at the gallows than go seeking the old hag’s company.
She was still angry with the Oracle… because it wasn’t as though she could exactly go and pour her frustrations out on Selene, the goddess of the moon— so Maymunah was a close enough second.
And Killian, the one who usually made things a bit more bearable did not want to see her.
Or at least that was what the female Beta thought.
You see, guilt was eating her alive.
More so than usual, in fact.
And so she was back to her old ways of avoiding him… wanting to save them both the trouble and spare them another awkward encounter, or even worse, more hurt.
It was all a little humorous for the she-wolf really— how they were once so tight, you could barely pull them apart, but now, they seemed to be stuck in a never ending cycle of hurting and avoiding one another.
Here she was now, sitting at her favorite spot in the gardens, just wishing that everything will go back to the way it was before.
Where Killian was cursed, but his curse did not affect the pack.
True, even then, Killian’s plight had been pitiful, but then he had kind of resigned himself to his fate and she had done everything she possibly could to be there for him.
But the only thing Killian really cared about— his pack— was being threatened now, and knowing him, he was going to move heaven, earth and hell to make sure that they didn’t go down with him.
Kendra needed to head over to the barns to supervise the she-wolves stocking up for the upcoming winter, but here she was, thinking about things that she apparently had no control over.
With a loud, weary sigh, she stood up from the bench and trudged wearily to the barns.
The barn work was mostly left to the females, even though a few male wolves littered the place, helping with the more heavy stuff. People chattered amongst themselves, oblivious to their approaching Beta, laughing and sharing conspiratorial looks and chuckles.
Kendra groaned inwardly.
Women!
She was never going to understand why they loved juicy information so.
It wasn’t exactly a ‘pick me’ kind of thing for the Beta… it was just that her reputation had been badly tarnished once as a result of gossip and so the feeling had left a bitter taste in her mouth, almost making anyone who seemed to love to partake in such stuff an instant enemy of some kind.
Usually, she avoided this part of her duties like the plague, choosing to swap with their gamma, Miguel instead who was always more than happy to be in the company of women who appreciated his looks and whatnot.
But not today.
Today, all her duties involved working with Killian, and guaranteed… she could be professional when it came to it, but when there was a third option of swapping with another person to save them all the hassle, braving it out just seemed like a crazy idea.
And so here she was.
She could already tell that it was going to be the longest four hours of her life.
There was an abrupt hush in the huge barn as wolves recognized their Beta. People were suddenly so serious, loading sacks of grain and stacking them in huge columns.
Kendra chuckled inwardly at the swift change, but she somehow managed to look every bit of the no nonsense Beta that she was.
“Thank you all so much for taking time of your busy schedules to help the pack with your little contributions, please carry on as though I’m not here.” She briefly addressed them, rolling up the sleeves of her gown to join them.
They worked in silence for about an hour, and then the chattering slowly lifted once more… people were beginning to feel more comfortable around her it seemed.
As time went on, Kendra realised that she didn’t really mind the chit-chat as much as she usually did. It wasn’t exactly bad.
And it wasn’t all exactly gossip.
She was quick to realise.
Maybe she had been a bit harsh— a bit hasty in her judgement.
A loud wail suddenly pierced the air, interrupting her stream of thoughts and causing her to look around in confusion.
It was a little girl, about nine months old, bawling her heart out for reasons unbeknownst to the Beta and making her mum miserable as the poor woman struggled to think of what could possibly be wrong with her wee pup.
Kendra approached them tentatively. She wasn’t exactly the good with kids type, and so she was a bit out of her element here.
No, scratch that— she was a lot out of her element!
“Is everything okay? Why is she crying?” She asked in concern.
“Me have no idea, Beta Sullivan. Sh’was perfectly fine, and then she suddenly start to wail. Me no know what is goin’ on…” The mother wolf explained, still trying to soothe her young one.
“Uhm… would you like to take her out a little bit? Maybe she needs some fresh air.” Kendra suggested weakly. “I-I think it’s a little too hot in here.”
“Me thinks you’re right, milady… me goes to do that immediately,” The she-wolf said, proceeding to get her kid out of the barn, but the cries became even louder, the sounds making the lanky mother look up to the Beta in frustration. “Me don’t think she wants to leave your presence, Beta Sullivan. Would you like to hold her?”
Oh.
This was more than Kendra had bargained for.
“Uhm, I haven’t really carried a young pup before, I-I’m sure I’ll make her cries worse.” She protested weakly, gesticulating wildly in her state of nervousness. But then something just as funny as it was amazing happened.
The young wolf suddenly stopped crying, a small chuckle leaving her lips at the female-Beta’s little gestures and words.
“See? Me thinks she likes you.” The mother grinned proudly at Kendra closing the distance between them, just as Kendra took a tentative step back.
“G-good. I-I think I’ll go back to helping with packing. You can take a break and deal with the young one.” She made to turn away, but the young child let go of her mother and grasped onto the necklace hanging around the beta’s neck.
Out of reflex, Kendra reached for the kid, not wanting her to fall down and hurt herself.
A bubble of laughter slipped past the young child’s lips as she babbled excitedly. Now in Kendra’s arms, she tugged at her necklace some more. The Beta almost wished she could drop the startling creature, but for some reason— probably instinct— she still held on to her.
“See? Me tolds you she likes you,” The she-wolf grinned proudly.
“What’s your name?”
The grin suddenly disappeared, the she-wolf’s head bowing in submission, “Margery, milady.” Came her reply.
“Nice to meet you, Margery. And the little one?”
“She’s young Elinor, milady.”
The blonde haired, adorable child raised her head at her name, her blue eyes shining with mischief as she still held on to Kendra’s necklace as though her life depended on it. “Mama!” She pulled at the necklace again, trying to show it to her mum.
Kendra’s heart warmed at the cute scene.
Kids.
She didn’t really know how she felt about them.
She probably wanted one in the future, but as at now, they were the last thing on her mind.
“Here, have her… I have to check on the milling group as well,” Kendra muttered, closing the gap between them to hand the child back to her mother, but young Elinor only started her annoying wails again, clinging to the Beta’s gown like her life depended on it.
“Elinor! You come here this once, or I’ma whoop your little ass! You’re disgracing me, child.”
“It’s alright.” Kendra interjected on behalf of the child. “I can just take her along, I hope you don’t mind.”
Kendra found that she didn’t the child’s ass ‘whooped’ on her account.
“Me can’t possibly let you do that, milady.”
“Oh, I don’t mind.” Kendra quickly replied. The young child stared up at her in curiosity, her small chubby hands reaching out to lightly caress her face, “Beba,” She babbled.
Kendra chuckled.
Now even she had understood that one, “Yes, Elinor… I’m your Beta,” She cooed softly, another chuckle escaping her lips at how ridiculous she probably looked.
She came in here all lonely and sad, but she no longer felt that way anymore… for in the little wee pup,
She had found a new friend.