Chapter . 62
He extended his hand wearing a ring toward the mage. The mage approached him, trembling severely. At first, I thought it was a natural reaction, but he shook his body too intensely. As if he had chills or was suffering from a heat seizure.
Despite looking like he was having trouble moving, he came and kissed the ring on the hand Desmond extended. And then he raised his head.
The mage was no longer trembling. The unnatural convulsions had stopped. Whether it was fear or physical pain, whatever made him tremble had disappeared. The moment he kissed Desmond’s hand.
As if that sign of obedience toward Desmond had cured his pain, even for a moment. Or made him forget it.
Or both.
I knew what that was.
Because I had experienced it myself.
-You will not forget, you will remember.
While words from the past were awakening me.
Before my memories, how did my oblivion begin.
-I know how painful it is. Do not worry, you no longer need to carry that unspeakable pain alone.
What this mage went through.
-How could you, who are innocent, bear such pain. Be free from the pain that crushes you. Entrust that pain to my hands.
What I, too, had experienced before the regression.
-With this, I will take away all your pain. From now on, you will gain healing from my hands.
Amidst days of merely surviving amidst the family’s contempt and people’s ridicule, there were moments when I wanted to follow my dead nanny. Moments I hated to recall even now.
At that time, amidst all that sorrow, anger, pain, injustice, and unfairness, the only voice that comforted me, which was even sweet.
…I had stamped the seal of the contract like that.
Bound to the one who comforted me.
Without even knowing that it was not handing over my pain but my freedom, and that the meager healing gained in return was actually oblivion at the moment of enslaving a slave.
Oblivion… yes, oblivion! Another trap!
-I am sorry to say this. But this contract cannot be broken. You must give up.
Even Master, who endlessly encouraged me not to give up on magic even though I had no mana, spoke like that about my contract.
-What kind of contract was it? How did you come to make that contract? Tell me every detail of the contract ritual.
When Master asked that, I answered. Everything.
-Is that all? Everything? It cannot be!
Master could not believe my words. But I really told everything.
It was just that I did not even remember the fact that I did not remember.
So Master’s leading questions were useless. Because I forgot even the fact that I forgot, I didn't even try to remember. Because I believed I told everything while being unable to say anything.
“Brother? Why are you suddenly like this? Your face is pale!”
A voice was heard from the side. Ah, although it is more mature, this voice was heard along with that voice too…….
-If you do not sincerely obey me, I will not reach out my hand. If you continue to rebel, I don't need your obedience either!
Even when I was banished and far away from them, the pain of the contract remained, but there was no <Healing>.
Because my brother and the Duke went so wild during my banishment, the Empress faction was pushed to the brink of being identified as the mastermind but barely escaped. Thus, they left me alone for a while after I was banished.
Nevertheless, when pain occasionally surged like a seizure due to addiction to <Healing>, I just had to endure it.
Only when I contracted with Michelon did I finally escape from their <Healing>. Since Michelon was also suffering due to my contract, I did not want to escape pain through <Healing> alone. So the pain when breaking the contract became greater…….
“Brother? Why are you shaking! Are you alright? Your face is blue!”
Desmond’s hand grabbed me. I tried to shake it off, but I had no strength in my body.
“Someone, call the Court Physician immediately!”
“I, I understand…….”
The mage’s faint voice… a voice I remember only now.
-Do not worry, Prince.
A voice that was not sweet at all, rough and hoarse, but sincerely comforting me.
-You will be okay after the pain passes. I promise. I was like that too.
The voice of the mage who branded me.
-Of course, unlike me, the pain of the brand will be added for you, Prince, but the healing will be that much greater. Once you obtain it, you can forget everything except the joy of that healing… there will also be oblivion like a blessing. Something only you, Prince, can enjoy……. Since healing grows as binding grows, if you wish for great healing, the binding must grow. But how dare anyone other than you, Prince, obtain such amazing healing…….
Below the knife scar I made and Michelon’s claw marks, the seal of the contract that had disappeared after the regression, the pain from when that brand was stamped revived vividly.
That very pain, which forced me to bite my lips lest a scream leak out, gave me the strength to shake off Desmond’s hand holding my body.
“Brother?”
I lunged at the mage who was about to raise his staff to send a signal. I didn't even think of using magic. I just lunged recklessly and tore off his mask with my bare hands.
A mage’s mask is made so that it cannot be taken off without the permission of the master who ordered them to wear it. Just as Yolande took off her mask upon receiving the order of the Chancellor who executes the Emperor’s orders.
“Brother, what is this crazy behavior!”
Fire caught on my fingers that forcibly tore off his mask.
“Calm down! Take your hands off immediately! Your hands are burning!”
I couldn't even hear whatever anyone said. Because I clearly saw the face revealed under the mask.
A face hideously distorted with a broken jawbone. A face left with terrible scars from being hit by an iron gauntlet, which could not be fixed even with healing magic.
Ah, a face I know.
-That’s really cool! How do you do it? Teach me too.
-…I apologize…….
-Why not? Teach me just once.
-A descendant of Valaska wants to do magic? Can you call yourself my brother after doing that?
-I was wrong. It is not the young Prince’s fault.
The mage who showed fireworks to me who was crying, who shielded me from my angry brother.
-Since you are my brother, you cannot be beaten, so that person will be beaten instead.
The mage Maximilian punished right before my eyes.
A face not forgotten even with all that oblivion, now vividly revived.
Shock swept over me.
“Leontes! Why on earth are you doing this! Snap out of it!”
My vision spun. Soon, everything went dark…….
So oblivion was this sweet…….
That was why the mage I sought out with difficulty when I was a bit older had forgotten me.
Even with a young heart, to the extent that I returned, giving up on making the person who said he forgot me remember again.
But I will open my eyes again.
I will never throw myself into oblivion again…….
***
-Shake off the sorrow and anger within you. So that evil does not swallow you.
That voice had said to me.
But are sorrow and anger evil?
If I experienced a sad thing, must I suppress sorrow? If it is something to be angry about, must I suppress anger?
‘The coercion to endure, the coercion to forget is not for me but for the perpetrator.’
Suppressing the reaction that is merely a natural result of burying what happened to me is what is evil. Another binding on the victim.
That blind spot people easily miss was the core of that slave contract.
Even after regaining consciousness, I kept my eyes closed and polished my mind with all that realization. Sharpening each sense like a fire-heated blade plunged into cold water.
Mage’s mental training. Even if I wake up in a place that is not my residence, may my mind be clear as a mirror.
“Are you conscious, Leontes?”
Even if that sweet voice is heard again at my bedside.
“Brother?”
I opened my eyes.
Empress Rhiannon and Desmond were sitting by the bed, looking at me lying on it. Behind them stood Michelon, Sir Rolf, and Goldmund.
Goldmund, with a pale face, quickly approached and examined me. His fingertips were bandaged, but it was bearable pain. It seemed healing magic had been performed not too late. Healing magic has limitations, so not missing the timing was important.
Goldmund said to the Empress with a relieved face.
“He is alright. There were times like this occasionally before.”
“I recall it wasn't this severe when you reported to me, who worries about the Prince's health.”
Rhiannon asked sharply.
“When Prince Leontes collapsed here, I was not by his side, so I do not know how severe it was. But even then, he struggled or occasionally lost consciousness.”
Michelon and Sir Rolf’s faces became grim. I closed my eyes again.
Desmond said.
“His fingertips were burning, yet Brother showed no sign of knowing it hurt.”
“Even if not a Prince, there are patients like that occasionally. It only seems so at first, but in fact, the pain is so great that the reaction is slow. Then they are bound to lose consciousness due to the pain felt belatedly.”
“Then, do you mean to say the Prince has had times like this before, and you think the current symptoms are not much different from then?”
Rhiannon, who considered my fainting as the aftermath of stopping Lasilex intake, interrogated Goldmund directly.
“Since I did not see it directly this time, I cannot guarantee it, but even if it worsened a bit, I do not think it is particularly a new symptom. Also, as I mentioned, there were times when symptoms worsened and times when they weakened.”
“However, hasn't it been quite a while since Prince Leontes showed such symptoms?”
Whether it was foresight, revelation from God Traneha, or madness, the Empress, who guessed that Lasilex somehow played a role in my success at court, cut off the supply of Lasilex. Now that I didn't need it, I didn't care whether she did or not, but the Empress, who hoped I would approach secretly asking for it again, seemed anxious.
-Her Majesty the Empress asks several times if the Prince does not seek Lasilex.
Goldmund had reported so.
-Tell her that since my body keeps feeling bad after drinking that medicine, now I am afraid to drink it too, and actually, my health condition is worse than it looks.
But the Empress probably couldn't abandon the expectation that I would bow first asking for Lasilex. In the court, aphrodisiacs that are said to maintain a monarch’s favor or a lover’s affection are widely popular, and people once addicted cannot escape from them.
And now, I, who quit Lasilex, suddenly fainted. Rather than bowing down due to pride, the conjecture that I endured until I became like that held up.
“Still, wouldn't there be a reason different from before for Leontes's fainting? Of course, that doesn't mean it's poisoning. The Prince didn't particularly touch food in my residence or Desmond's residence, and his entourage who were treated while he was with Desmond are fine.”
Although she couldn't openly say Lasilex in front of my entourage, the Empress persistently pressed Goldmund for an answer.
Goldmund, seemingly afraid to answer, glanced around nervously and said.
“…That is also a possibility, Your Majesty. However, if there was a cause for the Prince frequently being ill before, just because that cause was stopped does not necessarily mean recovery. First, all damage or injury caused by that cause must be repaired. Otherwise, no one knows how long it will take to be completely healed.”
Goldmund was hiding the fact that I no longer needed Lasilex and faithfully following my order to exaggerate the dangers of Lasilex as much as possible.
To keep blooming the hope of the Empress waiting and waiting for me to bow down someday. To root out the hope of Desmond, who wanted to drink it himself since I gained abilities.
“Even, there is a high possibility that some damage is hard to heal.”
“Brother didn't look that sick today.”
At Desmond’s words, Goldmund nodded.
“That is the point. He might be fine now but we don't know when he might collapse again. Such severe fluctuations making it hard to predict are also a terrifying aspect of the aftereffects, and if it is something causing such aftereffects, whatever it is, it must be kept far away.”
“But Brother was originally frail. Wouldn't it be related to his weak constitution?”
Desmond’s voice dripped with lingering attachment to Lasilex. Seems he wants to drink it quite badly.
“Although Prince Leontes is certainly frail, depending on the person, there is a possibility it could yield worse results than for the Prince.”