Chapter . 64
I retorted sharply. However, even if I was not scared of my brother, I ended up underestimating him.
“When did I deny it? If I ordered a knight to hit a mage with an iron gauntlet, it must have been before I started wearing a knight’s iron gauntlet myself! So I must have ordered a knight!”
“…….”
“If I punished a mage, he must have committed a crime. Isn't that right? What crime did that bastard commit anyway?”
Maximilian shouted menacingly.
“As the First Prince, I have punished sinners not just once or twice; must I remember each one? Anyway, when I become Emperor, people will remember! Just as you remember now!”
“He did not commit a crime!”
I shouted too.
“Far from a crime, he approached me when I was crying alone, comforted me, and showed me fireworks. I saw magic for the first time then. I had never been to banquets or any court events. Since I didn't have a teacher like you, Brother, I knew nothing, so I just asked him to teach me something amazing and beautiful I saw for the first time. Even if he refused my pestering, I was happy. Until you came and half-killed him.”
Maximilian’s deep blue eyes stared at me intently. As if looking at a madman.
“Why were you crying alone in the first place?”
I was so dumbfounded I was speechless.
“Ah, don't answer since I'm annoyed. Come to think of it, you cried at the drop of a hat. You cried whenever something was said. Forget conversation, I couldn't even distinguish if you were a Prince or a commoner. Not like a brother at all!”
“I was young!”
“So what? Imperial Mother had already passed away, so who would listen even if you cried?”
Maximilian snorted. I wanted to bury that nose bridge alive in the dirt.
“When you were young, Imperial Mother would have listened!”
“Ah, quite the opposite. When Imperial Mother cried, I comforted her.”
“…….”
“I told Imperial Mother too. Not to cry. That my mother, the Empress, does not cry. Do you know how old I was then? Before I could even speak properly. Not only did you cry at the drop of a hat, but when your nanny died, didn't you cry for a whole week without eating? And you cried even after that. When Imperial Mother died, I was much younger than you were then, but I did not cry!”
“…….”
“Do you think you are any different? If you want to remain as the Prince of Armatia and my younger brother, you shouldn't cry. Not only crying so unsightly since childhood, is it something to be proud of that you were caught by others, especially a lowly mage!”
Maximilian grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently.
“And why bring up that story all of a sudden? It seems today you sobbed in front of enemies, and then remembering old times, came to confront me? To resent me for not comforting you like that mage back then?”
While mocking me cruelly, anger boiled in my brother's eyes. As if ready to kill if I really cried in front of them.
“…Did you punish him because I cried in front of him?”
Although I knew it was sincere, I couldn't help but ask. My brother's eyes looking at me asking that couldn't be more sincere.
“Don't worry. Now I will punish you too. You passed the age where you'd die from being hit by an iron gauntlet, haven't you. Since I wear my iron gauntlet now, I don't need to borrow a knight's hand either.”
Saying so, he raised his hand and rubbed my cheekbone with his index finger. As if he would hit right here himself. I shook off that hand.
“Back then, you said you punished him because I asked the mage to teach me magic.”
“Ah, did I? Do I have to remember every foolish thing you did while being bullied by Desmond or bastards like today? If so, I should have rightfully punished that too. Wanting to learn magic, no matter how young you were, don't you feel ashamed of yourself even thinking about it now?”
My brother sneered at me, but that sneer didn't last long and was consumed by anger.
“Still, that's because you were uneducated, so I understand. But to show such a sight of weeping in front of others? What was I supposed to do then? Should I punish the guy who did such a shameful thing even if he's my young brother, or should I punish the guy who saw it so he can't run his mouth carelessly!”
My brother shouted. My ears were ringing.
Eyes as sincere as when he laughed earlier.
I could have pitied my brother. That it was truly because he was uneducated. Because he didn't know what was shameful.
But that was not my right. I had no right to forgive my brother.
“You shouldn't have punished that mage.”
I said.
“He is someone who helped the Prince of Armatia when he received no help whatsoever. Unlike you, Brother, he didn't care about face or dignity. Because he cared more for me than himself.”
“If I didn't care for you, would I have punished the one who saw you in that state? And if you don't want to care about face or dignity, don't go around showing off that you are a Prince! That is exactly honor!”
Now my brother was genuinely angry.
“If honor can only be obtained by cruelly punishing an innocent person, that is not honor. It is just evil. Base evil.”
“Did you dare call me base?”
My brother grabbed my neck. Like back then.
When I looked straight at him without blinking an eye, he ground his teeth and let go.
“He was a good person. Not a bad person because he didn't fit your standards, Brother, but a good person because he didn't fit your standards.”
“What?”
“Also, he was one of the few people who helped me when I had nowhere to rely on. And you punished him for exactly that reason.”
“…You talk too much.”
With a murderous face, my brother cut me off.
“What do you want to say? So you will take revenge on me for that person?”
“What is his name?”
I asked.
“Why ask me that? It was you who remembered him, not me! I already told you I don't remember!”
“ was he your mage back then? Or was he someone else's mage? After you ruined his face, what happened to him?”
“Why should I know that? If I knew, do you think I would leave him be? This time I would cut his lifeline for sure!”
“You will know someday.”
I said quietly.
“Someday, you will know and also remember his name. The person you punished cruelly just because he was better to your brother than you were.”
“…Why would I?”
“Because he will become my subject.”
***
When I pushed my brother away and returned to the residence, Yolande stood behind Nanette who ran out to greet me. Looking at Nanette running to hug me, with a face that wanted to separate her sister from me right away. How different that wary gaze is from Master's gaze full of benevolence…….
“Prince? Did something happen?”
Nanette asked. When I couldn't answer immediately, Yolande approached quickly.
“The Prince seems tired, so let him rest a bit, Lady Nanette.”
However, Nanette shook her head.
“If something bad happened to the Prince, I must comfort him!”
“…My kind Nanette.”
I said.
“I have a story I want to tell you.”
Nanette's small hand grabbed my hand and led me to sit.
“…Once upon a time, there was a child. A child younger than our Nanette. One day, that child was crying…….”
I started the story like that. While Yolande standing behind Nanette watched with hawk eyes.
-Do you want to forget the sad things?
Master had asked me quietly one day.
-I want to.
I admitted.
-But that is my past. Oblivion is not the true path.
-But wouldn't your heart be at ease if you just forget everything?
-Why wouldn't I want to? It is natural to feel that way. However, that ultimately becomes admitting my past as shame. Nanny said those who claim I should be ashamed are the ones who should be ashamed.
Even though the face of Nanny, who died long ago, became blurry, I never once forgot her words.
-It is the perpetrator's claim that the victim should feel ashamed for being harmed. No matter how they subjugated me, my heart did not submit to say they are right. That heart is my honor.
No matter how much I wanted to win, I didn't want to be a winner who considered defeat as shame.
-The honor of the loser.
Master nodded.
-In other words, you mean you never chose oblivion, and you will continue to do so, right?
-That is correct.
Looking back now, ultimately because I didn't forget the past, I could revive the true meaning of regression.
And only now do I realize the heartbreaking gaze Master looked at me with.
-…I wanted to help you be less painful, but I will respect your decision.
-That respect is also help, Master.
-…Leontes, you will not forget this matter. You will remember.
Master said, holding my hand tightly.
-You did not wish for oblivion. That very fact will become the standard of your memory amidst all that oblivion. It will be the end of oblivion and the beginning of memory.
I didn't know then, but Master cast Word Soul Magic on me with those words.
So that I could recover the memories forcibly taken from me.
-You will not forget, you will remember.
Looking back, it wasn't that I remembered the forgotten past just by seeing that mage's action. Master's words came to mind first before that.
Otherwise, even if I felt something was fishy about the mage's action, it would have taken a long time to remember.
Or I might have lost the clue to the contract seal I suffered, which I barely obtained, forever.
The one branded with that seal gradually loses memory of how harmful that contract is. No matter what humiliation they suffered because of that contract, they cannot remember it for long. addicted to that oblivion the master gives, that oblivion that makes one forget everything.
-This contract is certainly more vicious than the general master-servant contracts mages undergo. It is worse than the contracts the Emperor's mages make, yet since even the memory of it is not intact, breaking it is even more difficult.
Just as Master lamented.
If I hadn't been distanced from them due to being banished from the Imperial Palace.
If I had given up on the upright teachings Nanny left behind.
If Master, who perhaps wanted to make me live forgetting the contract altogether with another oblivion magic, had not respected my decision.
I would not have been able to resist that contract seal before the regression either. I would not have been able to crush Rhiannon and Desmond’s conspiracy by confronting them, and liberate myself and Michelon.
Because I would have been addicted to oblivion, like that mage.
“So, is the story over?”
Nanette's question brought me back to reality.
“…And I thought. What happened to that mage. What is his name.”
Throwing the question like a murmur to Yolande behind Nanette.
To Master whose eyes were burning in a face that lost color.
“Lady Nanette, would you spend some time with Lord Michelon and Sir Rolf? I have something to tell the Prince.”
Yolande said, placing her hand on Nanette's shoulder.
Nanette looked up at her sister and nodded. However, even while standing up, she asked me carefully.
“…Why did that child cry?”
“What?”
I asked back in surprise.
“You said that child was crying then. Before meeting that mage. Why was that child crying then?”
“…That child cried often. Why that child cried then…….”
I thought hard while answering, but…….
“I forgot.”
Without asking anything more, the child hugged me tightly.
***
Yolande and I entered the study. Michelon glared at me for agreeing to her words that she wanted to talk alone. Rather, Sir Rolf, who looked displeased whenever I was alone with Desmond or Maximilian until now, acted calmly.
“Some people think everything is possible with magic.”
Yolande started like that.
“Even moving people's hearts.”