"In search of vastness, you would sacrifice ethereality? And for what? For the sake of a Crimson Eye?"
***
[Outpost 213, Lykans Sector]
"Business, business always about business."
The creature complained. It had adapted pretty quickly to its new situation, sitting back lazily and licking its paw in what would be a clear display of domination. If it did not come from an incredibly, objectively, empirically cute looking thing as it was.
"No-one ever thinks to stop and appreciate the little moments. You might not know this, but that's the secret to life. That lonely thought you think in the gap between the mundane and the banal on a Sunday evening with nothing to do tomorrow, watching the rain coat the window- hey, are you even listening? Even Ascension-stage cultivators would literally kill for this kind of information!"
The unhooded figure disregarded the creature's verbal diarrhoea, instead holding a hand palm-up. The creature looked up, amused.
"I thought we went over this? Your little shadow-spikes are interesting, but you can't kill me. Nothing can."
Instead of a deadly weapon, what coalesced above his hands was a hologram drawn from lines of starlight. A breathtaking image formed of filaments of silver, translucent and fragile, like the phantom conjuring of a fading mind.
"You should join a circus with a talent like that, pure waste getting into all this edgy, assassin business."
Deciding not to engage the hypothetical, earning a huff of disapproval, the unhooded figure spoke firmly.
"I'm here to bargain for a Boon."
There was silence, and then the creature asked acerbically.
"Care to elaborate? Is the shiny tangle of lines just to show-off your artistic prowess, or are you actually going to do something with it?"
Gesturing to the display with his free hand, the unhooded figure replied unhurriedly.
"This is what I need your help with. It's a knot, of sorts, and I need a certain calibre of tool to dismantle it."
The creature's pupils dilated, unable to hide its growing interest despite its best efforts. Giving in, it trotted over, followed by the perpetual, binding beam of starlight.
"Ahhhh," it spoke softly, studying the entangled strings. "You know the best thing with these is to just slice through. A sword sharp enough can cut just about anything. But if you could do that, we would not be having this conversation."
It was silent for a few more moments before turning away from the shining display, fixing the unhooded figure with its large, piercing green eyes. It seemed to see through him, as though his being was laid bare.
"They say curiosity killed the cat, but I really can't help it. It's in my nature. So, humour me. What is all this about? Who knew where I was to even send you to me? In an era of chronic disappearance like this one, such a thing should be impossible."
The unhooded figure dismissed the hologram causing it to disintegrate into a shower of silver sparks that disappeared. He looked over the creature unyieldingly.
"These questions are irrelevant. I asked you one you have yet to answer: the Boon. Can you grant it?"
The creature had sat down once again, lazily licking the night-black fur on its back.
"I could grant it, but you know I really don't like this attitude of yours. I'm very comfortable here, even with this sticky gaze. I'd be happy to live like this forever, but I'd wager your little thing is time-sensitive. Oh, how pitiful the lives of mortals!"
Gritting his teeth, the unhooded figure gave in, sensing the futility of continuing the argument with what appeared to be some sort of embodiment of a moody-sounding brick wall.
"Fine then. To answer your second question, no-one knew where you were, or how to find you."
He added after a second's thought.
"Well, not you exactly. I knew where to go to seek what I was looking for, not exactly what I would find there. It just so happened that it was you. As for why, I can't answer that."
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The creature had paused its grooming, mouth open as if in shock. It laughed in disbelief.
"HAHAHAHA! Wow! Of all things, mere chance? Happenstance? Coincidence? HA! Now that is hilarious! All the planning in the world, dethroned by mere chance!"
It paused to gather himself, toning adopting a hint of something more sinister.
"I think not, little nameless thing. Coincidence's stink, and I am no-one's puppet. Hmmmm, actually...if that's the way it's going, I don't mind. In fact, this could very well be something to look forward to. It has been endlessly boring for a long time."
Halfway through it's spiel, it seemed to focus in on the unhooded figure, surveying him head to toe with an analytical gaze, coming to a conclusion that changed its fickle mind.
Whatever. As long as I get what I came here for, it's a step in the right direction. All I see in my mind's eye is my singular, unavoidable goal: that is the extinguishing of The Beacon!
"Well, if not, with a sword, Severance, then a Boon should be possible for one such as I. Bow before the magnanimity of my Grand Self, lowering my status to deal with a mere mortal such as yourself!"
"I am truly flattered," the unhooded figure inclined his head and spoke sarcastically. "Praetell, how does the bestowal work."
"Hmmmm," the creature pondered as if it was making something up on the spot which, in all fairness, it probably was. "Let's do it like this. A name for a name, grant me your name! A tool is not worthy of a Boon, for only a living being can bear such a burden. Are you alive, little thing?"
Unknown thoughts ran through the unhooded figure's mind as he raised his head. Speaking in a low, grave voice, he replied solemnly.
"My name...it was given to me by my brother. Our parents were wasted away before I could even recall. And so it was him who granted me that thing to differentiate me from oblivion. My name-"
He stopped to collect himself, the creature leaning forwards incapable of resisting the attraction of its overpowering curiosity, no matter the mortal dangers associated.
"My name...is Gigashot Killinator!"
A wind whistled silently through the alleyway, a tumbleweed blown across the background as a cricket chirped with the bloodlust of a billion-
-oh, never mind. It was just a normal, boring cricket this time.
Mistaking the way the creature flinched at the sound of the cricket for its response to his name, Gigashot Killinator puffed up his chest.
For a man to become mighty, his name must be capable if withstanding the weight of his existence. I am lucky my brother named me, or else I may have been consigned to the depths of mediocrity. After all, he even named himself:
Darkblade Solitude.
Truly, a name fitting for a legend of the underworld, the one who slew the Godling, Zahto Zen!
"Did you hear that?" the creature whispered nervously, its hackles raised and its pupil's dilated as though it had heard a truly fearsome thing.
"You mean my name?" Gigashot replied pridefully. "Taking me a bit more seriously now?"
The creature's head darted side to side, swiping a paw dismissively at his direction.
"No, no, not you. I could have sworn I heard...never mind. I must be going senile, there's not a chance he's here right? Chance...I see."
His voice degenerated into incoherent mumblings, until Gigashot Killinator-
-do I really have to say his full name every time? Are you for real? What? No, you don't pay me at all, what are you talking about? Huh? Okay fine, whatever. Fine. Ahem-
Until Gigashot Killinator interrupted him.
"As much as I care about your descent into insanity - to be clear, I do not care at all - could we hurry up about that Boon?"
The creature shook its head, addressing Gigashot Killinator patronisingly.
"You know you aren't the centre of the universe. There are things a whole lot scarier than you out there. That Which Lurks in The Dark....whatever, the quicker this is done the better for me too."
Clearing his throat, it gestured for Gigashot Killinator to extend his hand and placed a soft paw upon it. Intoning in a serious voice, the creature continued.
"Blah blah, Gigabutt Buttinator, blah blah blah Boon blah blah untie the strings of causality blah blah Nexus blah blah your name sucks blah blah blah."
Gigashot Killinator stood there silently, his brow increasingly furrowed as the 'ritual' continued. As it came to a close, he asked.
"You sure that worked? I don't feel any different, and I definitely heard something strange in there about my name..."
The creature fixed him with an innocent gaze and, with the power of its immensely cute eyes, Gigashot's suspicions were assuaged.
"No, no. I wouldn't dare. Besides, Boon's aren't itches, you know. You can't just feel it appear. When the time comes, you'll understand how to use it and whatnot. Trust me, you will absolutely not mistake the sensation that you will feel. Hehe, not a chance."
It rubbed its paws together maliciously, but Gigashot had no other leverage over the creature to force it to elaborate.
I can handle a little discomfort, I am an interstellar assassin.
"Good. I'd say it was a pleasure doing business, but quite frankly, it wasn't."
With that, he turned around with a swish of his cloak and marched out, leaving behind the alleyway illuminated by a single ray of starlight. A shrill voice called after him, but he continued walking without a backwards glance.
"Hey! Hey, guy with a dumb name! What about this sticky thing, how about you get rid of it? Come on, I was just kidding about ripping out your eyeballs and your insides and your skin and your ears. It was just a friendly joke, I'd never do that! Seriously? Aww man."
Despite his desperate cries, the creature was left alone in the alley. Shrugging, it started to settle down. Stretching its back, its small red mouth opening shockingly wide in a yawn. Muttering to itself, it circled around to find a comfortable position before lying down.
All this bird business stinks. Starcrow, crow...whatever, it's too much to think about. Besides, I'm not even real. Or am I? Heh. That was a good one.
"Cycles and cycles, it's far too soon for all this business. Let me get just another short nap in and then I'll..."
It's voice faded out mid sentence, replaced by the soft growl of a snore. After a much longer interval, though without the sun it was hard to tell exactly how long, the beam of starlight too blinked out.
As it did so, the solid image of Schrödinger's Cat flickered and faded away. Not quite gone, but not quite still there either. Real, but not real. At least until another would come to call upon its name.
Or until it woke up from its nap, I guess.