I wandered through the gloomy Mirkvale Forest, staying near the clearing, in an attempt to sort through my thoughts and emotions. For some reason, I found the smell of rotting vegetation and damp earth soothing. Right now, I needed all the soothing I could get.
Cally's words had hit me hard, making me realize how wide the gulf between us really was. I pretended to be fine, but it bothered me more than I cared to admit.
What if there came a point where I was no longer the same Gabriel they knew? What if I became someone else altogether? Something else? If that ever happened, I fear that I'd lose everyone and everything I loved.
Was this what others like me felt? Mortals who ascended to godhood, like Tempest? Or were they too far along, too detached from humanity, to care? I wasn't sure.
A small part of me admonished myself for being whiny and brooding. Oh no. I was becoming a god, or whatever it was that Nox intended me to be. How terrible. All it would cost me was my humanity.
Huh. Put in those terms, it sounded pretty bad.
Once I calmed down enough, I returned to the clearing. It was almost noon by this point. The sun shone down directly on the clearing, warming it up a little. My companions had gathered around Roxie, who remained frozen, including Priestess Natille.
The three enemies she dealt with earlier were lying in a small heap nearby. I couldn't tell if they were dead or alive. Either way, it appeared she finished questioning them.
The only exception was Aurora, who took a nap in the middle of the clearing.
My companions looked in my direction as I approached. All of them wore expressions of frustration.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
Priestess Natille bowed her head, a remorseful expression on her face.
"I apologize, Lord Gabriel," she said. "I failed you."
I blinked at her in surprise.
"What do you mean?"
She gestured to the small heap of enemies nearby.
"I questioned those three, but they knew nothing important," she said. "It turned out that while they joined the Order of the Infernal Star, they were fringe members. Minions to be used and discarded. Disposable. They didn't even know the location of the enemy base here in Mirkvale Forest."
Well, that was disappointing.
"What about Roxie?" I asked.
Priestess Natille shook her head.
"Her will is too strong," she said. "There is also some kind of seal protecting her mind from my Holy magic. I can't break through it." She bowed from the waist. "Please forgive me for my failure."
I gestured for her to get up.
"Don't act like that," I said. "Even if I am technically a demigod, you're a follower of Lady Amara."
Priestess Natille straightened up, though she still looked remorseful. I rubbed my face, before turning to the others.
"Any ideas on how to interrogate our friend here?" I asked.
"We were just discussing that," Cally said. "So far, nothing. Given her hatred towards us, I doubt Roxie would tell us anything willingly. Bribery doesn't seem like an option either."
"There's always torture," Anna suggested.
Everyone turned towards her.
"Don't look at me like that," she said. "It is an option."
"But not always a reliable one," Cally said, frowning.
"No torture," I said in a tone that brooked no disagreement. "We talked about that in Eastwatch."
Anna frowned at me.
"Then what do you suggest?" She gestured to Roxie. "Right now, she is our only lead. I doubt our enemies will try to ambush us again. Even if they do attack, they'll be more prepared. What if they send someone who is more than we can deal with? Otherwise, we'll have to search Mirkvale Forest the slow way."
I sighed. Anna made a good point. However, I hated the idea of using torture. Not just because I found it repugnant, but also because I didn't want Anna to stain her hands more than she already had. If anyone should bear the burden of guilt, it should be me.
"There is one other option," Priest Jaime said. "Though I doubt Lord Gabriel will like it."
I gave him a questioning look. He gestured to Priestess Natille.
"It's similar to what Priestess Natille can do," he said. "If you revealed your divinity, that might convince Roxie to tell you what she knows."
I stared at Priest Jaime, angry and offended by his words. However, despite that, I couldn't refute them. He was right. It was an option, though one I found distasteful.
A part of me pointed out the hypocrisy of my thoughts. I was fine with letting Priestess Natille use her Holy magic on our enemies. Why couldn't I use my divinity?
"Do you really think it would work?" I asked my companions.
Priest Jaime and Priestess Natille nodded, while Leroy and Cally shared a look.
"Yes," Cally said. "However, I want you to think through the implications before you try it. Priestess Natille's Holy magic is temporary. Your divinity, however, may be permanent. What if Roxie starts worshiping you? What then? Do we kill her? Take her prisoner? Accept her into our ranks?"
Frustration filled me.
"Do you really have to keep hitting me with these moral quandaries?" I asked.
"Yes," Cally said in a blunt tone. "Who else would if not us?" She gestured to Anna. "This one is more likely to enable you."
Anna mulled it over, before nodding.
"You once told me that you sometimes need someone to help keep you grounded," Leroy said.
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Fine," I said. "Point taken. To answer your earlier question, Cally, I don't know. We'll play it by ear. This is new territory for all of us." I opened my eyes and let out a snort. "Besides, it might not even work. Roxie hates House Sturm."
We all looked at her. She continued to glare at us with venomous hatred in her eyes, me in particular.
"Cally, unfreeze Roxie's head after I release my divinity," I said. "The rest of you, go to the edge of the clearing. Maybe distance will lessen the impact on you."
The others nodded and moved to the edge of the clearing. Anna, on the other hand, remained in place.
"I'm not affected," she said. "So I'll stay by your side, just in case something happens."
I gave her a grateful smile before I turned my attention back to Roxie. After a moment's hesitation, I stopped holding my soul in. I felt relieved, as if releasing a breath I had been holding in for a long time. The discomfort I felt disappeared, and I realized just how suffocated I had felt.
After I stretched to relieve any remaining tension, I gestured for Cally to unfreeze Roxie's head. She stared at me in a daze for a moment, before she shook herself free and worked her magic.
The ice covering Roxie's head started to melt away. Anna took a stance, ready to act just in case.
Roxie glared at me with a hate-filled expression the entire time.
"I'll kill you!" she shouted once her mouth was free.
At first glance, it appeared as if my divinity hadn't affected her at all. However, after a moment, I noticed the fear in her eyes. Fear of me.
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I walked towards her.
"Stop! Stay away! Don't come any closer!"
Roxie struggled to get away from me, but Aurora's ice kept her in place. By the time I stood next to her, she was in a full blown panic. A part of me felt sickened by this. However, I steeled my resolve and said the first thing that came to mind.
As if in response to this, my divinity rose up and infused my words.
"Everything is going to be alright," I said in a gentle voice.
At the same time, I caressed her cheek. It was an intimate act, one shared between lovers, siblings, a parent and their child.
Or a god and his worshiper.
Roxie stopped struggling and stared at me, her eyes wide with awe. A moment later, tears streamed down her cheeks and she started crying. She let out deep, heart-wrenching sobs, expressing sorrow and pain that went soul deep.
"I'm sorry," she said, over and over again. "I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me."
"Don't worry," I said. "I will forgive you." I hardened my expression. "But first, you must tell me what I wish to know. Where is the base in Mirkvale Forest located?"
Roxie looked at me with a conflicted expression on her face.
"I… I can't," she said. "They'll kill me."
"No they can't," I said. "They're not here right now."
Roxie shook her head.
"No, you don't understand," she said. "They did something, put some kind of curse on me. If I betray them, I'll die." She paused. "Though, if it means redeeming myself, maybe that wouldn't be so bad."
Damn. I hadn't expected this. If Roxie was telling the truth, and I had no reason to doubt her, then forcing her to tell us the location of the base meant killing her.
The practical and pragmatic part of me questioned my hesitation. Roxie was an enemy. Why did I care if she lived or not? If we hadn't needed the knowledge in her head, I would've already killed her.
The rest of me pointed out that there was a difference between killing an enemy in battle, and forcing someone to commit suicide. One was far more fucked up than the latter.
As I stood there, debating with myself, I heard a chuckle in my mind.
'Would you like some help, my apprentice?' Nox asked, speaking to me through our bond.
I stiffened.
'Don't act so surprised,' she said. 'Of course I've been keeping an eye on you. Not all the time. I'm not a voyeur.'
I gritted my teeth.
'What sort of help?' I asked.
'You wish to remove the seal on this girl's soul, correct? I can teach you how. Consider it your first proper lesson in soul magic. A bit ahead of schedule, but this is the perfect opportunity for it.'
I sucked in a breath.
'That's possible?' I asked.
'Of course. Soul magic allows you to manifest your will and make it reality. To truly bend the world to your will, without the limitations of ordinary magic and martial arts.'
'Like a god?'
Nox let out a mocking laugh.
'No, my dear apprentice. Not like a god. A Sovereign. As I told you before, divinity is not the only path to Ascension. What you have is not divinity, but sovereignty. You command, and the world obeys.'
'What's the difference?'
Nox chuckled.
'I'll teach you later on. Right now, you have another matter to deal with. Now, use Spirit Sight and look closely at this girl's soul.'
I nodded, before I used Spirit Sight on Roxie. The rest of the world faded away as I focused on her soul. I saw the dark green miasma that mingled with the foul darkness of the demonic blood flowing through her veins.
As I studied Roxie's soul, I realized that there was something in the center, a dark spot. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it resembled a runic circle.
'Is that the seal?' I asked.
Nox gave me the mental equivalent of a nod.
'Why is it a runic circle?'
Nox took a moment before answering.
'While soul magic allows you to bend the world to your will, it takes less effort if you rely on already existing laws,' she said. 'It's like the difference between swimming across a lake and rowing on a boat.'
I nodded in understanding.
'How do I dismantle this runic circle?' I asked.
While I had some understanding of magic and runic circles, I was by no means an expert.
'I'll guide you this time,' Nox said. "However, in the future, you must rely on your own knowledge. That, or ask your white-haired friend for help.'
I nodded. Nox told me how to dismantle this particular runic circle. It was surprisingly simple.
'Now exert your will,' she said when she finished. 'You've done it before, albeit unconsciously. Now you must make a conscious effort.'
I took a deep breath, before I focused all of my attention on the runic circle and tried dismantling it with my will. However, my divini-my sovereignty refused to respond.
'Don't just think about it happening,' Nox said. "Make it happen. Will it to happen. Want it to happen.' She paused. 'Or maybe you don't want it to happen. The only reason why you would remove this seal is to spare this girl's life. However, if you plan on killing her afterwards, there's no reason to.'
In that moment, I realized that Nox was right. I wanted to remove the seal so Roxie wouldn't kill herself while answering my questions. However, she was an enemy. We would have to kill her anyway. Perhaps we could imprison her, but that would only be a temporary solution.
There was only one fate for a fiend.
No matter what, she would die. Sparing her life now meant killing her later, and a part of me knew that. That was why I held back, at least unconsciously.
'Oh, my dear apprentice,' Nox said. 'You want… What was the expression again? Ah, yes. You want to have your cake and eat it.' She chuckled. 'Luckily for you, it's possible. If you want, I can teach you how to remove the demonic filth that taints this girl. That way, you can save her life and her soul.'
I froze, stunned by her words. As far as I knew, becoming a fiend was a permanent decision. There was no way to reverse it. At least, not through conventional means.
'How?' I asked.
'Simple,' Nox said. 'Make this girl your own. Will it to happen.'
'I refuse,' I said without hesitation. 'I won't betray Anna.'
I felt Nox's exasperation through our bond.
'Not like that, you idiot. A Sovereign needs subjects. Vassals. Retainers. Similar to how gods need priests and worshipers. Make her yours, and you can save her life.'
'That sounds a lot like slavery.'
Nox snorted.
'Only if you try to force it. It's another matter if she agrees. Rather, think of it as a contract, similar to the one between you and your familiar. Or me and you. However, be warned, your contract with her won't be one between equals.'
I debated with myself on whether or not I wanted to do this, before I decided to go through with it. At least, I wanted to try.
And with that thought, my sovereignty responded. It rose up from within me, before flowing into Roxie. I asked a question.
Would she become my vassal?
Those words contained my intent, including my desire to spare her life and purge her of the demonic taint flowing through her veins. However, this came with a condition. I would only accept her if she never took an innocent life.
Roxie responded in kind.
I accept. I only killed those who deserved it.
I felt the truth of her words, since she spoke from the soul. However, Roxie also conveyed a condition of her own. She wanted me to get revenge on the House Sturm scion that destroyed her family and ruined her life.
Done.
With that, I felt a bond form between us, one that went soul deep. As Nox said, it was similar to my contract with Aurora, but it differed in one key aspect: she would have to obey all of my commands. Rather, she was incapable of disobeying me. If I commanded her to die, her body would shut down.
Nox didn't need to tell me any of this. I understood it on a fundamental level.
However, I had no time to feel horrified. My sovereignty flowed into Roxie through our newly forged bond and washed away the demonic taint flowing through her veins. It cleansed her, purified her. It resembled a rebirth, or perhaps a baptism.
Despite this, I made sure to pay attention and use my sovereignty to remove the seal on her soul. Now that I had come this far, I needed to see it through. Otherwise, I would've done all this for nothing.
Unlike purifying the demonic taint, dismantling the seal took actual effort on my part. Using my sovereignty was simultaneously easy and difficult in a way I couldn't quite articulate. The best I could come up with was that exerting my sovereignty was like using a limb I didn't know I had. It was an inherent part of me, one atrophied from disuse.
As I dismantled the seal, I sensed a growing hollowness inside me. At first I paid it no mind, but it spread and grew stronger.
'Careful, my dear apprentice,' Nox warned. 'Your sovereignty is still shallow. It's easy to overexert yourself. Be careful. Otherwise, you may break your own soul.'
I heard her words, but I kept going. I wouldn't stop until I dismantled the seal.
Almost there.
Just a little more… Done!
The seal snapped with a satisfying click, before dissolving into nothingness. I sighed with relief before I stopped exerting my sovereignty.
'Excellent,' Nox said, sounding satisfied. 'Well done, my dear apprentice. I knew picking you was the right decision. I shall leave you now. But remember, I am watching over you.'
I wanted to retort, but in that moment, a deep exhaustion washed over me. My vision darkened and I stopped using Spirit Sight, focusing on the physical world once more. I stumbled back, unable to remain standing.
"Gabriel!" Anna said.
She rushed to my side and caught me before I fell back.
"You're bleeding!" Anna said, her eyes wide with worry.
I reached up to touch my face and realized that she was right. Blood flowed from my eyes and nose. A result of overexerting myself while using my sovereignty, or soul magic.
"What did you do to him?" Anna asked Roxie, her voice filled with menace.
Roxie didn't seem to hear her. Instead, her expression was a mixture of rapture and relief, like a sinner granted absolution.
"Anna, look," Cally said in an odd tone. "Her eyes. They aren't red anymore."
I let out a hoarse chuckle, though it resembled a cough. Both Anna and Cally looked at me.
"She's no longer a fiend," I said, my voice rough. "I cleansed her."
Of course, it came at a steep price. However, I would deal with that later. Right now, I was too exhausted.
Anna and Cally stared at me in disbelief.
"What do you mean, you cleansed?" Cally asked, incredulous.
I opened my mouth to respond, but the exhaustion overwhelmed me and I fell into darkness.