I am folding my newly washed clothes when my mom came in with flowers. She was surprised when she saw me that I am inside. But then she continue to come in.
"I was just going to put it there, I didn't know you were here," she said referring to the flowers and wanted to leave.
"It's okay, you can put that near in the window," I said then continued what I am doing. I saw in my peripheral vision that she was looking at me but can't speak. "Why?" I asked as she remained standing in the doorway.
“H-huh? Nothing." She smiled in response and then approached the vase near the window. Maybe she was surprised that why I didn't seem to care about her putting flowers in my room. She knows that after Jr leave me, I hate flowers again in my room. I don't want to see any of them.
“Mia,” I stopped folding when I heard my mom call to me.
"Yeah?" I answered without looking at her. I did not hear anything from her so I look at her again. "Why?"
"No, nothing," she said. I saw that she is hesitant to tell me what she wants to say.
"Tell me, ma." I heard her sigh before answering.
"I saw you last night, you and your dad," I stop and didn't answer when I felt her sit behind me. “I'm still your mother, Mia, I'm sorry if you feel you're not important to us. But I hope you believe that you are. I'm sorry I never asked you if you're ok? I got to see you being strong, you are brave, I forgot that no matter how strong and courageous you are, you still need someone to talk to who can bring out problems and grievances.”
I smiled secretly as I continued to do what I did. This is the first time that she talk to me like this. I mean, this is the first time that she talk like this. I never had a conversation with her before and just now she open to me.
"Mia, if you can't handle it, I'm just here to listen to you. I am still your mother. I will not judge you. If you think you can handle your situation, you can leave. We are for you."
"I can do it, don't worry I can do it." I tried to steady my voice. I am a little emotional because this is the first time that I heard her talking like this. The first time that I feel her concern.
"Mia."
"I'll give up if I can't do it anymore. But not at this time. I can handle, I am still ok."
I have no right to give up because I'm not alone in this battle. She, dad, and Janel were with me, and I know when I fall, we all fall too, especially now that papa is still recovering from his accident. They all rely on me, though mama has money from the shop but it can't deny that it not enough for all the expenses what we have.
“I'm just here! You can sympathize with me. You are not alone, not only in your life but also in your heart.” I just felt her hug me from behind me. I slowly removed her hug and then faced her.
I looked at her, I saw the sadness in her eyes. I also notice the wrinkles that she used to keep. I looked at her hand which had changed. I feel sad because just now I noticed that she aged too much. She is very different from before. The tiredness and pain were obvious.
I know like me, she tried to be strong also. If there is more affected in our situation right now. None other but her, she is more affected. But she keep it from us and like me, she pretended to be strong also. Cause she know that once she's the one get weak, all of us will down. A mother's love indeed.
So what right do I have to give up, if this is how I see it. They didn't even ask, but I knew they needed my help. They are my family. My life, and my everything. This is the only one I know and I will never draw on this. I will stand and continue to fight. With them as my inspiration.
"Mia, am I your mother? I am not an enemy.” She caressed my face so I smiled.
"I'm sorry Ma if I've been too numb and negative. If this is the only way I know to help you."
“Shh! I understand. Just always remember that ‘you have sympathy’.” I nodded then averted my eyes because I felt like my tears were about to fall. Though we did not talk that much. It's enough for me to hear her saying that she sympathizes with me.
A loud shout from Janel startled mama and me and stopped. We looked at each other first and I knew we had the same thoughts and the same feelings. When we recovered we went out of the room together and there we saw Janel and papa downstairs.
Mama and I looked at each other again and at the same time, we looked at papa. I couldn’t hold back my tears when I saw him standing and taking a step. He was looking at mama and me and smiling even though his face was crooked I still noticed that maybe because he tried to move his feet.
I ran down the stairs and stood in front of dad.
"Pa," I called his name.
"I.can.walk," he said softly smiling at us. "I.will.walk. I.will.be.ok."
I approached papa and hugged him tightly, Janel and also hugged Papa. While mama was behind me crying.
"You'll be fine papa, I believe you'll be fine," I said while crying. Janel also cried in my back.
"For.all.of.you."
I feel all the hardship I had gone through. I feel as if nothing tragedy and sadness has happened to our family. I regain all my strength.
Today I feel that our life will be going to change. This is it, this will be the beginning to have hope.