Jackson addressed me, saying, "My Luna, there has been no indication of him in the jungle. The greatest of our trackers failed to locate his smell anywhere.
It seemed pointless to continue the hour-long quest. further than the indentation of his body in the flowers and the petal fragments heading towards the woods, he had left no further traces. I was really disappointed that neither a fragrance nor a footprint could be located.
The statement "That's impossible." Simply put, a body devoid of a live soul was unable to get up and go. There would have been indications even if his corpse had been relocated, which would have been very disrespectful. Drag marks would have been visible, a fragrance would have been detected, a footprint, or anything, if they had crossed the boundary.
"I am aware, Luna. We've looked everywhere.
And I appreciate you doing it. It simply is. A tear began to fall down my face, then another, and a sob came out of my lips. "I feel as if I have lost him once again. That is absolutely, irrevocably lost to me. I sunk to the floor, burying my face in my hands as my knees gave way.
Megan, oh Megan. He moaned and got on all fours next to me.
"I can't." I cried. "I'm at a point where I can't do this anymore."
"I'm aware, Megan. I am aware of how you feel, but you must persevere.
My eyes were clouded with tears that never seemed to stop as I shook my head. "Jackson, I-I can't help it. not absent from him.
"I can't even begin to imagine how painful losing a partner would be." He whispered softly and held me up by the shoulders with his arms. But just remember that you're never going to be alone. You have my unwavering support. Cole, Blaire, his parents, and Kai are all constantly here to support you. I'll be here to stand by your side. You just need to ask, but please don't give up.
I ask myself, "Why can't I?" I queried.
He would want you to have it. He wants you to have the finest life possible.
"Well, I guess I really can't do that without him now, can I?" The gaping abyss that was filled with seething emotions was burning. Despite the fact that we never mentioned his name, the emptiness cried out as we talked about him. Every minute it was shouting at me, telling me that nothing would ever be the same again. that no one will ever be able to replace him, and that I will miss him as long as I live.
"I'm urging you to live on; I'm not asking you to forget him or move on. Please, could you do it for him? As I turned away from him, the lack of his support caused my legs to start to tremble. I was dizzy and weak, and I thought I would pass out. I turned my back on him, embarrassed that I couldn't answer his question and provide the response he desired. Heaving a sigh, he recognized my response.
I said, "Come on." He supported my weight by weaving his arm beneath mine and around my back. We both became silent as he guided me back to the home we were meant to share with him.
Claire will be there to attend to you when we arrive.
I am unable. We still need to locate him, and I have a job to do. I can't."
"No, I'll be working. You will be doing everything Blaire requests of you, even sleeping.
I can't simply assign you all of my job; it would be terrible.
"Says the one who is even able to stand up straight. Look, we all know you haven't been taking care of yourself and you're not in a good place right now. Simply take an unscheduled day off, and your buddies will take care of you.
You know I'm not going to let you do that.
You are aware that it's OK to sometimes require assistance, right? Everyone will need it at some time.
You're not going to let me off the hook on this one, are you?
This is the longest I've ever heard you speak, you know."
He persisted in encouraging me, but I refused to have a discussion with him anymore. The only noises that could be heard between us were our breathing and the irregular patterns made by our feet striking the earth. Any creatures that could have been around had long since been chased away, leaving us alone. I was reminded by the quiet that I was never really alone before and that I was constantly alone now.
At the end of the trail, Blaire was waiting for us, and Jackson handed me over to her. When they were ready to kiss, but halted and looked at me as if it would disgust me, a sharp pain shot through my chest. It bothered me more that they didn't. It implied that I was broken in their eyes and was afraid to even look at love for fear that it may also shatter me.
She treated me as if I were a helpless kid with a limited understanding, which was to be anticipated. She talked too slowly while asking me repeatedly if I needed anything. insisting on everything I want to do, providing me water, seeing to it that I eat, and having me remain on the sofa. Even though I knew she meant well, I almost feared she might follow me to the restroom. Just in a grating way.
Are you certain that you don't need anything else? As I ascended the stairs, she questioned me once again.
Blaire, I agree. I appreciate you sticking with me, but I'm going to bed now.
"Do you need my presence? If you want me to, I will.
"It's alright, I'm sorry. I'm good. I'm not going to keep you around. In addition, Jackson will likely be irritated due to the amount of paperwork he has been completing today. He'll want you back at home.
Before starting to move once again, I made sure she was on her way out and waited for the front door to shut. I entered the guest room that was furthest from the bedroom by walking past the bedroom door.
I flopped onto the bed, watching the minutes pass on the clock with my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees. Even though my eyes were burning, no amount of sleep would come.
I was unable to sleep without him since I had become used to doing so. I was so used to always feeling secure while he was at my side that I am now always on edge in his absence. He used to be here, there, everywhere, and now I can't even function without him.
I began looking up while leaning back so that my back rested on the bed. Not even near to the cedar and pine that I had come to like, the room smelt like clean linen and stale air. As I slept off, I yearned for him to hug me and brush his fingers through my hair. I was so desperate for his voice, babbling gibberish in the dark as we attempted to fall asleep.
I bawled myself into a ball and sobbed. Even though I now knew what my father had to go through, I couldn't understand torturing someone the way he had tormented me. I stood up and bit my tongue to contain my sobs out of fear that the person down the hall might overhear me. Their irregular, labored breathing and the noises of objects being tossed to the ground terrified me beyond repair.