"Don't worry, you will get used to it." He said without looking at me.
"And what if I don't?" I asked timidly. He stopped eating and looked at me. My heart skipped a beat by his icy gaze.
“You will, I am here for you.” He reassured me but his eyes were concealed by those thick walls of darkness and I cannot encrypt what emotions he is trying to show me.
“Don’t overthink. Just relax, okay?” His normal self seems intimidating to me. I gulped by his piercing gaze over mine, taking over my senses.
“I.. I..” I tried to speak but he put his hand over mine and I felt startled, averting my gaze, I pulled my hand back.
"I-I have eaten.. Can I go to sleep?" I asked, tugging my hair behind my ear and looking away from him.
"What are you scared of? Why do you get scared?" He asked sternly.
“Am I scaring you?” He asked softly but I shook my head instantly.
"No! No, I am not scared. It's just cold here. Maybe because of the air conditioner." I quickly made up an excuse, chuckling nervously.
He gave me a slow nod and turned his attention back to the food, "Maybe you should wear something warm." He said. I hummed.
"So.. Can I go?" I asked again.
"Candice, you don't have to ask for my permission for every little thing. Do whatever you want.” He shrugged casually.
“But yeah, if you are going out, tell me beforehand and take some bodyguards with you while going out, okay?" He explained.
"Okay." I replied.
"Aren't you asking why?" he asked, looking at me in amusement.
"No. I mean you must have a reason to say that." I said, standing up.
"Good Girl." He smiled and looked away. I don't know why but It felt eerie when he called me that. I excused myself and went to our room.
I used my phone and watched the TV for a while but soon got tired and turned it off and laid down to sleep.
When I was about to sleep I sensed Tyler entering because of his thick scent of expensive and intoxicating cologne. He sat beside me and called me,
"You awake, Candice?" I hummed and opened my one eyes to look at him with a smile.
“I need to ask you something.” He began to say, turning to me.
“Yes. What is it?” I asked softly.
"You know we are married, If you don't mind.. Can I.. I mean can we.. If you allow.. " He trailed off nervously.
My heart thumped against my chest as a flood of uncertain thoughts of hearing what he wanted struck my mind hard.
“Yes, Tyler?” I asked. I slowly sat up, my grip on the duvet tightened, not knowing what I should say.
“I don’t know if you will be comfortable or not but I respect your personal space but...” He wasn't looking at me, increasing my heart rate and anxiety more.
Oh my God, Is it going to be my first time? And I felt an abrupt rush of lust.
My throat dried, I looked at him intensely, waiting for him patiently while I could feel the havoc wreaking in my body of needs.
He took a deep breath and looked at me. "Candice, with your permission can I hold you close to me, as much as possible?" He asked, looking expectantly at me.
"What?" That's the only question which escaped my lips.
"Yeah.. I want to hold you. Can I?" He said.
"Look I don't want to force you into anything. I don't want to touch you without consent." he said earnestly.
I mentally cursed myself for thinking about consummation and lowered my head.
A blush crept upon my cheek along with a smile, "You don't have to ask." I said, moving close and holding his shirt.
“Thanks.” He kissed my head and turned off his lamp and wrapped his arms around me, taking me in his embrace and giving me an everlasting emotion of being protected and safe.
When he held me, I felt perfect as if nothing could harm me and the place where he resides would be my sanctuary. “I will always protect you.” He whispered sincerely.
“I know. I trust you more than myself.” I whispered back.
My whole being relaxed and soon a lull washed over me and I fell asleep in his arms receiving the tranquility rushing in me as a reminder of having a peaceful and loving life ahead of me… or not?
‘I don't know yet but still…’
“Glad to know.” The benediction of holding him close, I never thought I would receive it. My heart is overflowing with content as he held me close to him like this everyday, protecting me as a safe shelter.
“I will keep the pride of the trust you hold in me, Candice.” The happiness of finding my home, the place I want to return no matter how lost I get is inexplicable.
‘He has become my reason to live. He is making me his. He doesn't know how crazy I am becoming about him in just a brief time, he is now present in my breaths.’
He kissed my forehead and whispered to me, "Sweet dreams." I hummed and held him close.
“You too.” A smile crept upon my lips to hear those sweet words of equanimity as I fell asleep in his arms feeling so secure I never felt before.
***
It's been a month of our marriage and everything is going fine. Sweet and beautifully slow, at its pace.
Tyler is a sweet loving husband, he took care of me and I always try to be the great wife he deserves.
‘Having someone like him by my side is a blessing.’
I shall try my best to fulfill my obligations and keep him happy. I wake him up, help him to get ready for work, and cook breakfast for him.
Everything is so smooth but whenever he tries to touch me, it startles me in a thrill I never felt before and I am afraid of it so I try to keep my distance.
Each time he tries to take our relationship to the next level, I stop him but deep down, I don’t want to but I am afraid what he will think.
I don't know why, maybe I am insecure about myself but I am not sure about it.
"Tyler.. " I shook off my thoughts and woke Tyler up, interrupting him from his deep slumber.
“Hmm?” I heard the melodious voice of my husband, humming. I shook his shoulder slightly to wake him up.
“Wake up,” He hummed again and turned his head in my direction. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me with those alluring sapphire orbs of his.
A smile came to my lips when I saw him. He also passed me a faint smile and I pulled my hand away.
"Morning.. " I mumbled. He sat up and looked at me, finally waking up.
"Morning.. " He said. Yawning and getting out of bed.
"I took out your clothes." I told him. I love doing little things for him, at least that's what I can do for him.
"I know, you do everything for me. I bet, I will get used to you. Don’t spoil me." He said with a chuckle.
“Too bad, I did.” I giggled and he stood up and went to the bathroom to freshen up, starting another day filled with new hopes and dreams...