I lost my capability to think, Anger, distress and some kind of insecurity mixed within me and I couldn’t think straight, my mind couldn’t comprehend it.
“What the fuck!?”
I didn’t not know what to say about it. I don’t know what to believe anymore.
I truly want to believe what my heart is telling me but to convince my mind and eyes and keep it in a deception is impossible.
“Are those… real?”
I could feel as if everything is falling apart and even if I try to hold it , it is slipping out of my hands. I grit my teeth, throw the pictures in the fire.
‘Who are you, Candice?’
Are you the girl I kept pure or someone I didn’t want to involve myself with?
I should trust her, I know there are secrets about her she is afraid to tell me and maybe don’t want to be seen as a slut in my eyes. It could be anything.
I should understand there must be a reason for her to do this. I should have faith in her and give her some time to open up to me. I truly should. I should have.
‘But, I didn’t. My fury to see her with someone else blind me and I lost my fucking mind.’
“You are not getting away with it unless I force it out- even if I don’t want to hurt you but I am not in my senses anymore and my anger well past its peak.” I whispered to myself.
Either way you are bound to me now and no matter what your past is you’ll be mine and I will make sure that no one; No one but my name and sensation would remain on you. Nothing in this heavens can stop me to make you the way I want you to be. I have lost it.
On my way back one thing constantly roamed in my mind-
Don’t be violent, Keep calm and wait, Don’t hurt her but no… since when I listen to my goddamn self!?
When I came back, I decided to play it cool… for as long as I can.
“Tyler?”
And the moment I entered home, I was greeted by Candice, standing at the entrance… for me?
When she saw me her face lit up in happiness and she jumped in my arms.
“Welcome home! How are you?” She beamed, kissing my lips and then pulled away.
I was slightly taken aback by her demeanor. I looked at her with a stoic look and she pulled away.
“You didn’t call me even once. I was worried. Thankfully I had George’s number. He told me that you are coming.” She grinned.
‘Damn you, George.’
“How was your trip?” She didn’t seem a bit affected by what happened when I left that we had a fight.
“Huh? Tyler?”
As if she forgot about it and we are back to normal and I truly want to melt into that smile which is making my heart beat fast.
She kept on smiling.
She tucked a strand of her hairs behind her ears and looked at me timidly, “What happened? Are you alright?” I asked.
“Nothing.” I said, looking away and went inside.
“Are you tired or hungry?” she asked sweetly.
Stop it.
“I am tired.” I replied coldly.
I entered our room, took off my coat and since I don’t wear ties I just took off my shirt.
“Tyler…” Candice called me worriedly. I freshened up and laid down on the sofa.
“Can I-”
“Leave Candice. Don’t enter the room.” I said, putting my hand over my face.
“But-”
“I said. Leave.” I said sternly. I closed my eyes.
“Fine… if you need anything then tell me.” She mumbled and I heard the sound of the door being closed as I sighed loudly.
I don’t know what to think or believe anymore.
As if I am facing two Candice and maybe her past mold her into what she is now; what actually happened.
“She cannot act as if nothing happened.” I muttered under my breath.
I had a nap and woke up in the evening. Shaking my head to let out all the thoughts of distress from my mind which apparently seemed impossible.
“Hmm?”
I looked up and saw Candice using her phone, making an adorable pout while scrolling down.
“Didn’t I tell you not to enter the room?” I asked, irritated. She looked up to me and replied.
“It’s my room as well.” I scoffed and looked away.
Candice stood up and walked to me.
“What happened Tyler? Are you still angry at me?” She asked sadly, holding my hand.
I didn’t reply and stood up to leave, “Tyler, talk to me.” Candice said.
I exhaled and turned to her, letting out a scowl which startled her.
I grabbed her arms harshly and yanked her to me, she gasped in fright.
“How many lovers did you have before our marriage?” I asked in a low infuriated tone.
She tilted her head to the side and asked in disbelief, “What?”
“Answer. When you could feel comfortable by sitting on the laps of different people, why not a playgirl?” I mocked, letting out constant low growls with my grip getting tight on her.
She stared at me for a few seconds with a deeply grieved look and whispered in disappointment.
“I can’t believe, of all the people you are asking me this.”
“Answer!” I whisper-yelled at her.
“Let me go. It hurts!” she pushed me away from her, looking at me in betrayal and sadness.
“Your silence is giving me unwanted answers, Candice.” I said.
“Then don’t think about it. What made you think about me like this, Tyler?” Candice asked, angrily.
I grit my teeth and looked away. I took a deep breath and stumbled back, sitting on the bed.
I hung my head low, not saying anything, heartbroken and whispered, “I don’t know… I want to believe you but everything is pushing me away from you. I don’t want to doubt you but the more I try to get to know you, it’s getting hard….” I bit my cheek.
“I… I thought I don’t care about your past but I do. And, everything to keep us apart is becoming true.” I let out the insecurities building in my heart which are affecting my mind drastically.
I didn’t dare to look up and sensed her sitting beside me. We were looking away, a strange tension disperse in the air.
Candice sighed and asked, “Is your love so weak that you couldn’t even trust me?”