“Is your love so weak that you couldn’t even trust me?”
If it was weak, you’d be living in hell. Or I would have restricted your breaths.
“If It didn’t have strength then I would have killed the guy in the picture.” I looked at her and continued in a low threatening tone, “and You.”
Only if I know you are cheating but it doesn’t matter what my heart is convinced you are not cheating.
There must be some other reason I am not aware of.
She convulsed when I said it and asked terrified, “W-What pictures?”
“Leave it…” I sighed.
“No, No, No, tell me.” She asked with a shaky breath with tears brimming in her eyes.
She was absolutely frightened but not of me.
“You.. are.. in the arms… of different men..” It was so difficult for me to speak.
“They weren’t supposed to exist anymore. How did you find it?” She said to herself.
She closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek and said, “Those are real. I.. agreed to do this.”
I looked at her unfathomable yet so dolorous gaze and asked desperately, “Why? What helplessness made you do it?” I asked.
She bit her lips and replied in a croaked voice, “You’ll hate me.”
“I can’t, even if I want to- I can never hate you.” I said sincerely, turning to her.
I was about to touch her but she stood up, wiped her tear and glared at me,
“When you could find them, find the reason yourself as well.” She closed her arms at her chest.
“You wouldn’t believe me anyways.” she jeered.
“Do you even know what you were doing in the pictures?” I asked.
“Yes. I was fucking naked, having a sensual photo shoot, anything else?” She said with a smirk.
The tears forming a screen were visible in her eyes but she is keeping herself together.
“You…” I was speechless.
The words I couldn’t speak to her, she said without any hesitation.
She laughed scornfully, “Just look at your face Tyler, how shocked you are.”
She looked away and then her facade broke as tears began to spill out from her eyes and she looked at me in fury mixed with heartbreak.
“You were my pride Tyler. You loved me too much and it made me feel that even the world will be against me, you never will but how wrong I was.” Her voice broke.
“You believed what others told you, you believed what you saw. I was hesitant to tell you thinking you might hate me but I thought I would eventually tell you everything.” She paused.
“But now I have begun to think you’ll truly hate me.” She sniffed, trying her best to cry as she burst her emotions.
I felt kinda bad but what am I supposed to do?
How can I have faith in her empty statements when I have proof?
“Tell me, Do you think I am cheating on you?” She asked.
“Don’t provoke me.” That was my reply.
“No, No, tell me.” She asked in her taunting tone.
“I said don’t provoke me!” I said, raising my voice.
“So you do.” She chuckled dryly.
“You know what Tyler? Think what the fuck you want! Find things about yourself, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!” She yelled at me.
“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THEN? YOU AIN’T TELLING MY ANYTHING! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST YOU WHEN YOU DON’T JUSTIFY YOURSELF!?” I shouted at her.
“DON’T SHOUT AT ME!”
“I am not telling you anything now. I won’t. Know about things yourself because if I say anything about myself you don’t believe me but my fucking father who cleared himself before!”
“Why would I tell you anything!? You don’t trust me! You see everything except me!”
“You are the one who is pushing me away!”
“It’s not me. It’s you!… You are not giving me time, you are not talking things out… You are not understanding me…”
“All I asked for was a little time to gather courage to tell you everything but you… You are dying to get ahead then do it…” She broke into sobs while saying this.
I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out. And I know she is right, I should have given her the and let her tell me things and now I have broken the barrier.
I took a step closer to her but she moved back and put her hand in the air, she wiped her tears with the other hand and said.
“Dinner’s ready, don’t sleep with an empty stomach.” And left.
I was left flabbergasted, I did not know what to do anymore, what to think anymore.
My mind was in a loop of misery and eerie thoughts of stress which were affecting my heart and couldn’t let me think straight.
After she left, I cursed under my breath and ran my hand in my hair. I growled, lost in the bottomless tunnels of strain.
I stood where she left me for a while and then wore the shirt I took off before sleeping and walked out of the room.
I had dinner, I tried to eat but I finished half of it. The moment before I left for Paris came to my mind and I lost my appetite.
I went back to our room and saw Candice sleeping on the sofa.
I curled my hands in fist and exhaled my frustration as I walked to her. Her eyes were closed, she was sleeping.
I bend on the ground and put my head over her shoulder and whispered in a croaked voice,
“Your secrets are pushing us away, Candice… Please don’t let it happen, I can’t lose you.. I… I don’t know what to do anymore… I am lost. I am sorry.”