CHAPTER 56
ALPHA LINCOLN'S POV
At a point I knew I wanted to see Montana, I just did not want this much pressure and wanted her to understand.
Maybe I had spoken too rudely and harshly to her yesterday, but I was just furious and nothing I said was a lie, right?
Everyone was already seated at the table, when I got there, including Montana who muttered a low, "Good Morning", not even looking at me.
"Montana, I noticed you and Lincoln left early yesterday. Did you guys need some time to have fun by yourselves?", My mother said teasingly to both of us.
I was going to respond, but Montana beat me to it, "We did not leave together, I came back home because I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the party, it's been a long time I have been to one," she said softly, and I could sense the no emotion in her voice as she spoke.
"Oh, okay", My mother said and nodded.
I kept watching Montana, hoping that maybe she would spare me a glance, but she was just so fixed on her food and withdrawn.
Fuck it! Yes I am worried, I was feeling really guilty and no matter how stubborn I am, I just, I just needed to talk to her more calmly.
We may have not spoken this morning, but the silence between us was so loud.
"Thank you, I'm done, if you would excuse me", Montana suddenly said with a short smile as she got up and left.
She was heading upstairs, I suppose, to her room.
"Excuse me", I wiped my mouth and went after her.
She had already gotten to her door, before I grabbed her arm and she flinched and winced, before turning and staring at me.
I let go of her arm quickly, and she rubbed it softly.
I remembered that I had held her there last night, the guilt was now killing me. Did I hurt her?
"Is your arm okay?", I asked her sincerely.
"Yes, Alpha. Is there anything you need?", She asked me coldly.
"Can we talk? Let's talk about yesterday", I went straight to the point. There was no point beating around the bush.
"We said everything we needed to say yesterday, Alpha, you do not love me and I apologize for pushing you so much," She said again, coldly being very distant and I did not like it.
A part of me wanted her to, you, know, want to talk now, since we are both calm and stop being so cold. I admit I may have a little soft spot for her, but still, doesn't change anything.
"You made things clear to me, and I am going to respect that," She said again.
"Let's just talk Montana", I pressed on, "Let's just talk about this."
"Alright I'm listening, you can say what you want to say here," She said as she folded her arms and waited for me to speak, she looked tired and worn out for real.
It was written all over her.
Alright, fine, since she wants it here, "Look I just don't want this silent and hard feelings between us, okay? We can be friends but-"
"But what?", she cut me off, "but what, Alpha? Yesterday, you sounded as if you wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and all the time we have spent together was a mistake or something to just pass time. That is how you sounded and that must have been how you felt because I have been the only one putting efforts to even be friends with you and get to know you more."
"Montana, look, I don't think I am in love with you, and I am sorry, okay? But I cannot force myself to love you," I said to her softly, she should just try to understand, right now, I don't even know what I am feeling.
Montana made a face like she was in pain but trying to hold it in, "Look even if we put aside the love, even the friendship I thought we had, It's fine, don't force yourself, I have understood everything you have said, you use me when you want and then dump me after like trash, it's nothing new in my life."
She gave me a pained smile, after she was done talking, but continued, not giving me room to speak, her eyes were red, and she turned away as she sniffed, before looking back at me and finishing what she had to say, "Five months is almost over, just a few more weeks and you won't see me again. That is your wish, right? I will make it happen."
"So just tolerate my existence until then, from now until then, I won't cross any boundaries and I won't bother you. So just try to wait a little bit, I will be gone", after she said that, she gave a short bow, "Alpha", and then went into her room.
I can't believe she left me dumbfounded, I had no idea how I wanted to respond, but I knew for a fact that this was not what I wanted.
Anyway, I gave up, I believe I tried my best, truly I was sorry, but maybe this is the best solution, we stay away from each other, until she leaves with her kids.
MONTANA'S POV
I woke up today still feeling numb. I had already started reading the journal from my mother, or should I call her my mother's best friend.
Because I found out that the woman I referred as my mother was not my real mother but my mother's best friend.
Well, the day was going well, and I respected myself and kept away from Alpha Lincoln, after our short talk that morning, no matter how much it hurts, It would be best to not bother him or cross any boundaries.
Aside from that, the journal held many secrets that shocked me. I was going to talk about it with Alpha Lincoln, maybe after everything with our feelings gets sorted, perhaps he could help me find out more.
But all the things he said to me yesterday, I will be leaving even before the contract expires.
I should have never agreed to this and become such a burden to him that he wanted to get rid of so quickly.
But before I would leave, there is one thing I must do!