“Magkwento ka sa 'kin, para naman gumaan 'yang nararamdaman mo.”
Napatingin ako kay Castor. I just rolled my eyes at him and played with the wine glass' mouth, circling my finger there. Ako ang nagyaya sa kanya na magdinner pero nakatulala lang naman ako at walang sinasabi.
Nandito kami sa rooftop mg private condominium na tinutuluyan niya. Ito ang lugar na hindi pa yata nadi-discover ng fans niya, which is good. I just want to have a peaceful mind even just for tonight. I don't want to be alone because for sure I'll just end up thinking about him, then cry. Well, to be honest, I'm thinking about him right now, but at least I'm not crying.
“Just thinking about random stuffs, don't mind me,” I said and drank the wine. I looked at the night sky, what a wonderful sight.
“Well, it's just I'm not used to seeing you like this. That thing that's bothering your mind right now must be a big deal, you lost your focus on acting earlier, that's new. You're always professional, putting aside your personal matters while doing your job. Well, you can tell it to me. You know I'm a good listener, and I always keep secrets. Ang dami mo ng sinabi sa 'kin, yung iba personal pa, kailan ko ba pinagsabi ang mga 'yon?” natatawang tanong niya. Bahagyang natawa na lang din ako at napailing.
I hate to admit it but Castor really knows me so well, I don't consider him as my best friend but I'm so comfortable around him, kahit pa nilalandi niya ako paminsan-minsan.
“I had an intimate moment with my best friend's boyfriend last night,” I said and sighed. I drank my wine once again and stroked my hair using my fingers.
Castor's eyes widened, his lips parted, he looked at with disbelief in his eyes as if I'm kidding or what. I just rolled my eyes at him and kicked his feet under the table.
“Woah, I didn't know you have an incredibly wild side. That's fucking amazing,” he said and smirked at me. Damn this man, akala niya yata ay nagbibiro ako.
“I'm serious as hell, Castor. I'm so confused right now.” I closed my eyes and massaged my temple.
“Is there something to be confused about? You're my friend but you and that guy clearly did the wrong thing... you know, just forget everything, you said he's your best friend's boyfriend. The best thing to do is to forget about it, though, just let me remind you that you shouldn't do it again. That's cheating. He's your best friend's boyfriend, right?” tanong ni Castor. Natigilan ako.
What the hell? I just noticed that I forgot about Jaze. Dapat hindi si Zakarius ang iniisip ko kundi si Jaze. Bakit nakalimutan kong makaramdam ng konsensya sa kanya dahil sa nangyaring 'yon sa 'min ni Zak?
“Oh, damn, I forgot about her. Good thing you reminded me that. I'm really a bitch,” I murmured and gripped my hair. Castor just laughed at me and grabbed my hand, stopping me from gripping my own hair.
“It seems like you have feelings for that man, Angel.” He smirked and laughed gently. My forehead furrowed, what the hell is he talking about?
“Are you insane? Of course not, wala akong feelings sa lalaking 'yon!” I exaggeratedly said as my eyes widened. Damn him.
“If you don't have feelings for him, why are you acting like this? Hindi ka naman mukhang nakokonsensya sa best friend mo. Then it must be about him, you're thinking about him and he's the one who's invading your mind right now. In short, you have feelings for him,” Castor said. Kinagatan niya ang strawberry na nasa plato ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at napailing.
“It's not like that, Castor. Oo, nagustuhan ko siya noong college ako, pero wala na 'yon ngayon. Sobrang tagal na no'n,” depensa ko saka kumagat na lang din ng strawberry.
“Woah, so siya pala 'yon. Yung first love mo nung college ka na naging boyfriend ng best friend mo? Wow, pwede ng i-drama ang buhay mo,” natatawang sabi pa niya. Tiningnan ko na lang siya nang masama.
“Did I tell you about that?! When?!” I asked and hit the table with my hands. Castor just laughed at me.
“Yeah, I guess it was two or three years ago? You were so drunk that time, sayang lang at hindi mo nasabi ang pangalan niya,” napapailing na sabi naman niya. Kahit papa'no nakahinga ako nang maluwag, buti na lang pala.
“Well, he's my first love. But I don't have lingering feelings for him now, saka puppy love lang naman 'yon. I'm just bothered because I'm insulted. He told me to forget everything, I should be the first one to say that. Naunahan niya ako, hindi 'yon tama!” naiinis na sabi ko at muling napahampas sa mesa. Muling natawa si Castor sa ginawa ko.
“Fine, I get your point, Angel. But what can we do? Naunahan ka na niya. Just forget about it. Ang masasabi ko na lang sa 'yo ay tanggalin mo ang lahat ng ugnayan mo sa kanya. Stop thinking about him and just be cool about it,” sabi niya saka uminom ng wine.
I sighed and nodded, he has a point. I should just stop thinking about him.
“You're right, Castor. Why am I letting him invade my mind? I'm too beautiful to be stressed out just because of that jerk.” I gritted my teeth. Castor just smiled at me and gently caressed the top of my hair.
“That's the power, Angel Mendoza,” Castor said and smiled at me.
Buti na lang at naisipan kong kausapin si Castor. Kahit papa'no gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.
* * *
“OMG, Angel. You were spotted last night inside Castor's car, and the fans' reviews are all positive. Announcement niyo na lang ang hinihintay nila. Are you sure you're not dating him? Bakit hindi na lang kayo magdate for real? That will be convenient for the both of you,” Cassian said. Ipinikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko habang inaayusan ako ng make up artist ko.
“Shut up, we're not dating, at h'wag ka ngang maingay at baka marinig ka pa nina Castor,” I said while gritting my teeth. Tatadyakan ko na talaga siya, kaunti na lang. Kita niyang inaayusan ako, e.
“Then date him. Ano pa ba ang ayaw mo kay Castor? He's perfect for you at halos kilalang kilala niyo na ang isa't isa. Label na lang talaga ang kulang sa inyo,” tila nangingisay pa na sabi ni Cassian.
Hindi na lang ako nagsalita at baka matadyakan ko pa siya. Cassian is really a jerk, kaya palaging masama ang tingin sa 'kin ng mga artista rito sa agency, e. Masyado niyang pinapahalata na ako ang favorite niya sa lahat ng artista rito.
The shooting will end early today because there will be an award ceremony tonight, 45th film award ceremony of CGFA. There will be a lot of well-known actors and actresses there, as well as well-known directors. Speaking of director, I'm sure Zakarius won't attend the award ceremony. He never attends award ceremonies even though he won a lot of Director of the Year Award. Palagi siyang nababatikos dahil do'n, I don't know why he does that all the time, and I don't care. Bakit ba naisip ko na naman ang lalaking 'yon?
“Hello, Angel.” Lumapit sa 'kin si Castor saka umupo sa tabi ko. Napairap na lang ako dahil halos lahat ng staff ay nakatingin sa 'min, maski sina Chan at Cassian na mukhang kinikilig pa sa amin. Pag-uuntugin ko na talaga silang dalawa.
Lumapit sa 'kin si Castor saka inilapit ang labi sa tainga ko.
“I got a tip from the announcer, you will win the best actress award this year, again,” he murmured and laughed gently. I just smirked and raised my eyebrow.
“I'm not even surprised, Castor.”
Natawa na lang siya sa sinabi ko.
“Will you be my date, Angel? You know, I helped you with you ‘puppy love’ struggle last night. So be my date for tonight, I don't want to go there without a date,” he mumbled. I just laughed and look at my nails, I need a manicure.
“Fine, para namang ikamamatay mo kapag wala kang ka-date do'n,” tila nang-aasar na sabi ko.
“Well, I know you want to ask me to be your date, nahihiya ka lang siguro. Inunahan na kita,” natatawang sabi niya saka nagtaas-baba ng kilay. Napailing na lang ako at pabirong hinampas ang braso niya.
My forehead creased when I saw Cassian taking pictures of us. I took the tissue roll beside me and threw it at him. Sapul naman 'yon sa noo niya kahit medyo malayo sila ni Chan sa 'min. Damn this man, talagang gusto niyang magdate na kami ni Castor para mas malaki pa ang pumasok na pera sa agency niya.
At some point, I think he's right. Dating Castor will be convenient for me. He knows me so well and vice versa. Castor is also a loyal type of man, hindi ako mamomroblema sa babaero. Kaso hindi ko talaga kaya... I don't know why.
* * *
“Damn, you look so gorgeous, Angel,” Castor said with admiration in his voice. I just smirked at him. What's new? I'm always gorgeous.
Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto ng van. Dito ako sa bahay ko nagpaayos, sinundo niya ako rito dahil nga siya ang date ko para sa award ceremony.
Castor looks dashing with his gray tuxedo. To be honest, he looks like a Hollywood star, maybe because he's not a pure Filipino. Matangkad siya at matikas ang katawan, he looks intimidating at first because he looks like those typical ‘supladong guwapo’ but he's actually a good guy. Madalas ko nga siyang asarin na marami lang siyang fans dahil guwapo siya, but to be honest, he's talented as hell too. My parents want me to date him too especially my Mom.
Castor helped me with my long gown. I'm wearing a silver mermaid long gown with plunging neckline and open back. The long gown emphasizes my curves, Castor and I intentionally wear a matching outfits. Halos magkapareho ang kulay ng suot namin. Cassian suggested it, pumayag si Castor kaya pumayag na lang din ako. Ayoko namang masabihan ng killjoy.
Castor and I talked about some nonsense things during the ride. Hindi na ako kinakabahan sa mga ganitong ceremony. Siguro ang kinakatakot ko na lang ay kapag nadulas ako or natalisod during the ceremony. That happened to me three years ago while receiving the influential celebrity of the year award, I was so embarrassed I didn't use social media for a week.
Nakarating na kami sa venue makalipas ang ilang minuto. Si Castor muna ang lumabas ng van saka pinagbuksan ako. He helped me on fixing my long gown, I clung on his arm and walked on the red carpet with him. Nasilaw ako sa mga camera sa paligid, but I still managed to smile at everyone and waved my hand. Our fans shouted. Mukhang kami ni Castor ang huling dumating. I told him we should be the last one to arrive because I like it. Alam na niya naman iyon, alam niyang bida bida talaga ako taon taon.
Halos lahat ay may hawak na banner na may picture at pangalan namin ni Castor, yung iba naman ay fandom ng love team kuno namin ni Castor... What a joke.
Sa bandang unahan kami pumwesto ni Castor dahil nandoon talaga ang upuan namin. My co-actors greeted me, of course, I greeted them back. Hindi naman ako gano'ng ka-maldita para hindi sila pansinin.
“I just hope we don't get the couple of the year award,” I murmured to Castor. He just laughed and offered me a sit then sit beside me.
“Hindi natin masasabi, couple of the year award is based on people's votes. Masyado tayong na-expose nitong mga nakaraang linggo,” natatawang sabi niya. Napairap na lang ako.
The ceremony finally started. I really enjoy attending these ceremonies not because of my award, I can see my favorite actor ang actresses here. Halos lahat ng paborito kong artista ay mga batikan na, kumbaga mga artista noong 80s or 90s, sila talaga ang mga idolo ko. I can socialize with them or ask for their advice. Most of them are so humble and approachable, hindi katulad ng ibang artista ngayon na ang tataray hindi namang magagaling umarte.
Ako lang ang may karapatam magtaray dahil magaling akong umarte.
“Best actress of the year, Angel Mendoza!” the host announced. Castor smirked at me and winked.
I confidently stand up and walk to the stage. I smiled at everyone, all of them are clapping, I waved my hand elegantly and gave them my sweetest smile.
Inabot sa akin ng host ang trophy. I smiled once again and raised my trophy, the crowd's cheer became louder. Medyo nasasanay na ako sa ganito pero sobrang saya ko pa rin. Last year I didn't win the best actress award which is understable. Si Gia Vadermo ang nanalo last year, she's a good actress, and a worthy opponent.
“Thank you for this award, CGFA. I'm so honored and will cherish this forever. Thank you for all of my fans and for those who didn't get tired of supporting me since day one. This wouldn't be possible without all of you, thank you very much.”
Bumalik na rin agad ako sa upuan ko pagkatapos ng maiksing speech na 'yon. Paulit-ulit na lang yata na gano'n ang sinasabi ko, ayaw ko na rin kasing habaan dahil nakakangalay tumayo ng naka-heels.
“That speech is so cliché, Angel,” Castor said while laughing. I just punched his arm lightly and gave him my trophy. Castor didn't get the best actor award, but he's cool with it. Castor doesn't care about awards anyway. Nag-artista lang talaga siya dahil trip niya.
As expected, Castor and I won the couple of the year award. I don't know why we won this, we're not even a couple. Pero siyempre tinanggap ko na lang din. Paniguradong mag-iingay na naman ang fans ng love team kuno namin sa social media.
“The director of the year, Zakarius Cavalcante for the movie, Political Parties!”
I'm not surprised, the movie Political Parties deserves to win as the movie of the year award. Maraming kritiko ang lumabas nang ipalabas ang movie na 'yon dahil tila pinapamukha ng movie na 'yon sa mga tao ang tungkol sa korapsyon at real-life happenings sa pulitika. Zakarius is really fearless because he directed that film, tila kinakalaban niya ang mga pulitiko dahil do'n. Mas lalong marami ang humanga sa kanya nang ipalabas ang movie na 'yon. To be honest, I admired him too because he directed that worth-watching and eye-opener movie.
But they're just wasting their time. Hindi napunta si Zakarius sa mga ganitong ganap.
Natigilan ako nang magbulungan sa paligid, napatingin ako sa stage at natigilan sa nakita.
My lips parted when I saw Zakarius walking on the stage. Ano ang nakain niya at um-attend siya ng award ceremony?
“Thank you for this award,” he said with no emotions in his eyes. Tipid na ngumiti lang siya. Napasinghap na lang ako nang magtagpo ang mga tingin naming dalawa.
I bit my lower lip and turned my gaze away from him. My knees instantly weakened, my heart is beating like crazy right now. Nakita ko lang siya bumibigay na kaagad ang sistema ko.
Don't be a weakshit, Angel Mendoza.
Napakunot na lang ang noo ko sa mga naririnig na bulungan sa paligid.
“Wow, Director Cavalcante is really handsome. I already worked as an actress in his movie last year. Girl, mas guwapo pa siya sa ibang artista.”
“He should be an actor, ang gwapo niya talaga.”
Napataas na lang ang kilay ko at napairap. To hell with these girls. E, kung ingudngod ko kaya ang mga pagmumukha nila sa sahig, ang haharot.
The party started after the ceremony. Nakakainis dahil maganda na sana ang mood ko, kung hindi lang sana dumating ang Zakarius na 'yon. Masyado siyang pa-bida!
“Hey, are you alright? Mukha kang manununtok,” natatawang sabi ni Castor saka uminom ng wine.
“I'm fine, I'm just tired.”
I don't know but I keep on looking for Zakarius the whole time. I stopped myself for how many times but my eyes keep on roaming around, looking for him.
My forehead creased when I finally saw him. He's sitting on the counter while drinking liquor with some actresses. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath.
What a manwh-re. Damn him.
Wala ako sa mood buong oras ng party. Nahahalata 'yon ni Castor kaya hindi na lang siya nangungulit. Nawala na si Zakarius sa paningin ko, pero wala na 'kong pakialam. Bahala siya sa buhay niya, malandi siya!
HINATID AKO ni Castor sa bahay nang matapos ang party. I'll just apologize to him tomorrow, wala talaga ako sa mood buong gabi kaya hindi ko siya kinakausap.
Pumasok na ako sa bahay, basta ko na lang hinagis ang pouch ko sa sofa at agad na nagtungo sa kuwarto ko. I removed my sandals and threw it on the floor and then opened the lights.
I gasped in shock when I saw Zakarius lying on the bed, sleeping. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at niyugyog ang balikat niya.
What the fuck is he doing here in my house?!
Amoy alak siya, namumula rin ang mukha niya lalo na ang ilong at tainga niya. Mukhang marami siyang nainom.
I just rolled my eyes and sit on the bed, beside him. Maybe he enjoyed drinking with those actresses that's why he's so drunk right now. He's really a manwh-re, I hate him so much.
Nakatagilid siya at nakaharap ngayon sa puwesto ko habang nakayakap sa unan ko. Dahan-dahan akong humiga sa tabi niya at tinitigan siya.
A smile formed on my lips when he started murmuring something I couldn't understand. I restrained myself from laughing and just watched his innocent sleeping face.
Pakiramdam ko kusang umangat ang kamay ko upang hawakan ang ilang hibla ng buhok niya. I bit my lower lip and gently curled his soft hair on my finger while staring at him. My hand goes down to his face, I gently caressed her cheek. I can feel something in my stomach that I couldn't explain. I gulped and looked down to his luscious lips, his lips is more beautiful than mine. I smiled when he nuzzled on my pillow and hugged it tightly.
My heart is so weak when it comes to his cute side. He's the cutest sleeping man on this entire planet. Damn, I won't get tired staring at his sleeping face... so heavenly.
I was taken aback when he suddenly opened his eyes. I gasped exaggeratedly. Babangon na sana ako ngunit agad niyang nahawakan ang baywang ko at hinila ako papalapit sa kanya.
Halos magwala ang puso ko nang isiksik niya ako sa dibdib niya at niyakap nang mahigpit. I think my cheeks are literally heating up right now.
I did my best to push him but I'm too weak, my whole body is convulsing because of the emotion building up in my heart. I just bit my lower lip when he pulled me closer and inhaled the top of my hair.
“H'wag ka ng magalit sa 'kin,” bulong niya saka hinaplos ang buhok ko.
Mas lalong nanghina ang buong katawan ko dahil sa sinabi niya.
“I'm sorry, come back to me, please. I'll do everything you want, I'll give everything you want... Please stop making me jealous,” he murmured in a deep husky voice. My pulse raced as my body shivered. Damn, what is he doing to me?
Napatingin ako sa mukha niya, natigilan ako nang mapansing nakapikit siya. Is he sleep talking right now?
“A-are you talking to Jaze?” I asked while still staring at him. Napalunok na lang ako nang hindi na ulit siya nagsalita.
I bit my lower lip and touched his chest gently. I sighed and hugged him, I closed my eyes and nuzzled on his neck. He smells so good, kahit pa amoy alak siya nangingibabaw pa rin ang mabangong amoy niya.
I know he's thinking about Jaze right now, but fuck everything. I just want to hug him and think that I own him just for tonight... Kahit ngayong gabi lang.
“Angel.”
I opened my eyes and looked at his face. His eyes are still closed, mabigat pa rin ang paghinga niya, tulog pa rin siya.
I bit my lower lip, my cheeks heated up. He's just calling my name but my heart's already beating like my life depends on it.
“Angel? W-what do you mean Angel?” I asked, still staring at his handsome face.
“Please, come back to me, Angel,” he whispered.
Mas lalong naghuramentado ang puso ko. Yumakap na lang ako sa batok niya at muling sumubsob sa leeg niya. I bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to stop myself from screaming.
Damn, he's not talking about Jaze... he's talking about me.