Carter's POV
It had been two days since I left. And I pretty much drove nonstop unless I was stopping for gas and pee breaks. I hadn't eaten anything other than what I could get at a gas station, which was barely anything. Because everything looked like it was made to kill me.
I also hadn't slept. I felt heavy, dirty, and overwhelmed.
But it was all worth it for where I was now.
Now that I was standing in front of the home I knew all too well. The last place I was truly me.
I grabbed the extra key that was hidden under the plant pot by the front door and as it clicked I could feel every single emotion I had been running from, rushing like a flood. Almost completely knocking me off my feet.
I was home.
My eyes grazed the small two-story place. It smelled the same and looked the same from what I could remember. But now I was faced with every little detail that I had forgotten over the years. I hadn't realized until now, but this was the last time I had felt safe. Protected. Special. I closed the door and I dropped my bags in the living room.
The house was still clean and kept, Aunt Danielle and Aunt Rena take care of this place since they are the alphas. It was strange coming back to my home pack. It had grown so much since the last time I was here. Now there were upward of five hundred members. Before there were just forty.
I slowly walked through the house and up the steps but I took my time. The walls were littered with pictures of Dad and me, from when I was a kid. I should have known things were changing when he hadn't wanted to bring them when we moved. When I didn't even know we were moving to be specific. When I just was taken to Dieter's pack we never left. The first time they forgot my birthday.
Moments later I was pushing open the door to my childhood bedroom. A wave of nostalgia hit me and I was brought to tears. It looked the same.
The queen bed was covered in a red comforter, with lightening McQueen blankets and pillows all over it. My toys were all still lined up against the wall. My cars, dinosaurs, and my Lego sets. My dark blue bed frame and bedside tables with Spiderman lamps on them.
It was strange. It was almost as if I could see baby Carter lying in the corner of the bed cuddled up. My only friend is Tatty, and me being completely okay with that.
But what really caught my eye was the framed picture beside my bed. I gently grabbed it and a deep sob came out of my mouth as I looked at the beautiful woman. My mom.
I opened the drawer and pulled out the photo album that was given to me. That was filled with pictures of her. But the one I had framed was one of the only ones she and I had ever taken together. It was right before she passed away.
She was holding me, tears in her eyes and she was smiling. So happy that I was here. I could see it in her eyes that she loved me. Even though I was only around for mere minutes. She was already in love with me. It's been a long time since anyone had looked at me like that. Part of me thinks no one will again. I grip the frame tightly one more time before I set it down.
I want nothing more than to slide into bed but I need to shower. I ran back down grabbed my bags and I was in the bathroom before I knew it. I didn't want to waste time.
I showered quickly, threw on some sweats, and grabbed the picture of my mom. I also grabbed a pillow and one of my old lightening mcqueen fleece blankets and headed to the living room. Dani and Rena kept this place up to shape. So much so that they got a new TV for the living room and it was huge.
I knew I should eat, but my stomach was no longer growling. The emptiness I felt there, made my emotions not seem so big. I laid out on the couch as I turned the TV on and went right to my all-time favorite movies.
My comfort movies.
The movies that made me forget who I am and remind me of who I was.
"Speed. I am speed."
The all too familiar voice of Owen Wilson.
Fresh tears fell on my face as the movie began and I comfortably laid on the couch. I felt my body finally relax and my eyes began to drop. I didn't fight it. No. I let sleep take me away from my living nightmare.
****
"Carter! You in there?"
My eyes fluttered open and my head was pounding either from exhaustion, dehydration, or starvation. I don't know but each was a viable option.
The knocking didn't stop and as I sat up with a loud groan. My body was all too sore. I also had no clue what time it was or how long I had been asleep. All I knew was that it wasn't long enough.
I walked to the door and opened it and there stood my Aunt Danielle. She looked pissed, worried, and confused at the same time.
"What the fuck kid?" I sighed and stepped out of the way for her to come in and I closed the door behind her. "You got some explaining to do."
"No, I don't." I huffed as I laid back on the couch covering myself with the blanket. My throat scratched, had it been that long since I talked? Was that the reason it was so peaceful?
"You've been MIA for three fucking days. Yes, you do. I only know you're here because I recognized your truck."
Oh, so I had only been sleeping for a day? And I'm still exhausted? Damn...looks like it's going to take maybe a week to get back to my usual self. If I ever do. She crossed her arms and her hazel eyes stared deep into my soul. But I was used to it. And I didn't care.
"I'm a grown man. I do whatever the fuck I want." She growled lowly, getting pissed at my answers.
"Carter! You beat your brother, you punched a tree, you told your dads to fuck off--"
"First off. Sean isn't my fucking brother. Second off, Dieter and Crispin aren't my dads either." My words held nothing but malice as I stared back at Dani. Her face fell as the realization came crashing down on her. "Yeah, don't think I don't know that you knew." I sighed, feeling like crying again and getting pissed at myself for wanting to cry again.
"Crispin isn't my dad," I whispered to myself. I thought the more I said it, the less it would hurt. But I was wrong.
"He is. He is your dad Carter." She huffed out as she sat down on the opposite couch.
"I don't want to talk about it to you." I could see hurt flash through her eyes and I immediately regretted it. "I didn't mean--."
"I'm okay. Don't worry about me. I just want to make sure you're okay."
"Yeah. Peachy." I offered a fake smile, ready for her to leave so I could turn my movie back on. "Don't tell them I'm here," I said quickly, realizing that if they knew they would come here and drag me back. Which would be my absolute worst nightmare. I don't want to be around them, I just can't. Especially my da--Crispin.
"Carter I--"
"Please. Don't. Please, just do this one thing for me?" A tear slipped from my eye as I lay there begging. Goddess, I was pathetic.
"I hear you, kid. But they have been calling everyone. They are worried."
"They can be fucking worried! They didn't give two shits about me when I was there, they can stop pretending they care now." I shouldn't have yelled. My throat was burning now and my raised voice made my head hurt even more. Dani stayed quiet, and I could see she conflicted with herself in what to do.
"If you call them, I'll just leave and go somewhere else. I'm not going back." I matched the intensity of her gaze so she knew I was nothing but sincere. No way in hell would I be going back to my tormentors.
There was a knock on the door and for a moment I thought it was Dieter and Crispin. That they found me and they were going to drag me back and force me into the damned cells. Dani got up and walked to the door and once I saw her dark brown hair I let out a breath...but then I saw him...
Aunt Rena and Sloan. Bags full of food I assume.
Sloan's eyes connected to mine and it was like electricity was buzzing between us. I hated that he was here, but also I was so grateful.
"Just put the groceries in the kitchen," Dani said and Rena and Sloan walked over and started putting things away. I noticed that Sloan also had rolled a suitcase in.
Was he staying?
"You can stay here. For as long as you want. I won't tell your dads that you're here if you let Sloan stay here with you." Dani said pulling me from my thoughts. I wanted to protest and freak out and yell no. But I couldn't.
Because...I fucking wanted him here. I blame the mate bond.
I just nodded in response and buried myself deeper into the blanket.
"Okay good. I'll come check on you sometime this week. Get some rest. And please eat something." Dani rubbed my leg before she grabbed Rena's hand. Rena let go only for a second as she ran over and pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"I love you, kid. I love you," She emphasized the 'I' and I couldn't help but notice. I nodded back, no longer trusting myself as I felt tears at the brim. With one last look, Rena and Danielle were gone and I was left alone. With Sloan.
We sat in silence as he moved about the kitchen. I didn't have anything to say nor did I want to. I know if I did, I'd say the wrong thing like always. And I didn't have it in me to have another 'relationship' be broken because of me.
A few minutes later Sloan was walking around the couch with a plate in his hand and sat it down on the coffee table before me. With a cup of water to accompany it.
"I'm going to go freshen up but try and eat something. Even if it's a bite."
He walked away grabbed his bag and walked upstairs. I wanted to tell him to stay out of my room, but somehow I knew he would. I knew he wouldn't go looking around where he wasn't supposed to.
I looked at the plate and there was a sandwich and chips. I didn't reach for it until I heard the shower running. I took a small bite and forced it down. My stomach churned at the food, seeing as it's been empty for days. I took a few more bites and took some chips. I drank down half the water seeing as that's all my stomach could take.
I turned Cars on yet again and laid down. I put my hand under the pillow and rested my hand on the frame that was underneath. I like to imagine that my mom is looking down, watching the movie with me. In some way, it eased me.
I heard footsteps and Sloan was back in the living room. He noticed my half-eaten sandwich and I looked over at him just for a moment. His face held a soft smile and it warmed my heart to see. Fucking hell. Me eating the food made him happy. Or at least that's what it seemed like...But no, probably not. It's probably relief knowing I wasn't going to die of starvation.
You don't ever make anyone happy.
'Tatty?' I called out, but I was met with silence.
He had kind of disappeared after the beatdown of Sean. I knew he felt guilty, that it was his fault I lost control. But it wasn't. Though Tatty was hard on himself and I knew he thought of himself as my protector. He feels as if he failed me. He didn't protect me but added to my pain, which couldn't be further from the truth. And I would tell him that if he would just talk to me.
'I need some more time.' Tatty whispered back and retreated away.
We both needed more time. I don't know how much, but it wasn't going to be soon. I just hope he wasn't long. I needed him.
My eyes were glued to the TV as Sloan walked in and sat on the couch on the opposite side. He had put a pillow and blanket laid out on it. And brought his plate of food and water.
I was waiting for him to say something, or tease me for watching a kid's movie. But he stayed quiet. He ate his food and watched the movie. And he didn't complain once.
He didn't talk.
He didn't check his phone.
He just laid there with me as I watched all three car movies on repeat.
What's he playing at?