That morning hugging my husband all I wanted was for him to stay with me and our daughter today, but his damn obligation was calling him when I saw him getting up to go get ready with an impulse I never had I hugged him tightly, holding his waist so tightly as if I could pull his body back to our bed.
- Stay, husband! Ask for time off, I know you have the moral high ground, but please don't go. I need you to stay with me today.
- Cecilia, today a very important shipment arrives from Colombia as much as I want to stay I can not because I am the main responsible for this business even Mr. Bernardino will be accompanying us along with some Colombian partners, I must go, my love!
I didn't understand why I was feeling so bad about his departure, maybe because I knew that something bad was going to happen to my love, that's why I didn't want him to leave, but it was inevitable for Tomas to run away from his obligation. As was already routine, we had breakfast together while Melina fed on my breast, and I couldn't take my eyes off my husband thinking of all that he represented to me.
My mother-in-law served him coffee while Tomas kissed her sister's hand affectionately smiling at me and my daughter, there wasn't a man in this world as good as him, a dedicated son, an attentive brother, an affectionate father, and a loving and gentle husband. Men like Tomas are so rare that they should be protected from all evil in this world.
- Good morning!
Mr. Bernardino appeared at the window of our house with a terrible hangover face, my husband as a good host asked him to come in, my sister-in-law got up on the spot bothered by the presence of our boss, Luana doesn't know how to disguise when something bothers her.
- What is it, Luana? It's not polite to go out like that, what will the capo think?
- Sorry, mama, it was not my intention to be impolite!
Bernardino may have a hangover but he knows he said too much yesterday, Luana is a very transparent woman in relation to what she feels, surely he noticed the discomfort his presence causes her.
- Don't scold the girl, mama Emilia, unfortunately duty calls and I won't be able to stay long, I just came to get Tomas so we can go to the shed together.
Luana didn't even look in his direction, which I'm sure made Bernardino very upset. But what did he expect? My friend is not like the worldly girlfriends and vulgar whores that he is used to. On the contrary, Luana is upright and very correct, if she doesn't like something she doesn't pretend just to please him.
- Papa, Papa!
Melina began to call for the father going to his lap kissing all the face of Thomas with devotion, Bernardino was watching that scene amazed at everything he saw, must be sad for him not to have a family but it is his choice not to have, prefers to waste his time with women who do not want anything serious with him.
- Daddy's love, will you take care of your mother until I get back?
She began to laugh while Thomas tickled her, watching my husband with our daughter made everything I had been through to get here worthwhile.
- I apologize for disturbing the moment but we have to go, Tomas.
- Yes, sir!
When he hugged me I felt as if the world was mine and his alone, nobody was there in the room to disturb us, it was just me, Tomás and our little girl in our little bubble of love and family. I know that nothing could destroy the love that united us just by being there with him.
- Cecilia, I love you, when you start missing me I will be back, my love!
That farewell was the first time that my heart felt so tight, unlike the other times, I felt that something very bad was going to happen but I didn't know what it was, I didn't know if it was some kind of warning, presentiment or premonition, I just felt that Tomás shouldn't go. If I could I would have prevented his departure but I couldn't do anything about it, when Tomás passed by the door of our house the horrible feeling that he shouldn't go grew stronger.
During the whole day I tried to disguise my agony but it was impossible, Melina stayed with her grandmother and aunt during the day while I worked at the Bernardino mansion, even trying to occupy my mind it was very difficult not to feel that bad feeling because something very wrong was happening inside me as if it were a premonition.
Around 6:00 PM I went home waiting for Tomas and his arrival, the hours were not passing and as much as I tried to distract my mind with something else I couldn't, it was when my baby came to me asking for my lap soon after holding my right breast wanting to breastfeed.
I just gave my breast to her staring at the door waiting for Tomas but every hour that passed more desperate I was, Luana and my mother-in-law realized my despondency and tried to take this weight that occupy my chest but without success. Until 00: 00:00 I heard a movement in the garden, several soldiers getting off the cars holding some others who seemed to be injured, at that time both mama Emilia as Luana and my baby were already sleeping, in a moment of total despair I ran towards those soldiers asking for my husband but each expression I saw desolate but was sure that something very bad had happened, I saw Sergio carrying Mr. Bernardino in his arms, our boss looked like he had been shot in the arm and leg but at that moment I knew that Sergio would not lie to me, he is Tomas' best friend and has always helped him since we first arrived here.
- Sergio, where is my husband?
- Cecilia, I need you to stay calm, please, Tomás was a good soldier until the end, but he's not well at all.
That's when I saw one of the soldiers taking Tomás out of the car, he was bleeding profusely, I went to my husband, passing by everyone like a madwoman. I needed to be close to him, I know he needs me by his side.
- Husband, what have they done to you? Please stay with me, you promised you would come back to me alive!
- I... I'm.... so sorry, my love, I promised but.... I couldn't...
My hands were dirty with the blood of my love, the only man who was able to love me in my life, why was he leaving my life? This is not fair!
- Tomas, stay with me, I beg you, don't die, I love you so much, my love, why are you leaving me?
- Listen .... I love you but I can't take it .... Take care of our daughter, my mother and Luana! I love you forever, Cecilia!
I kissed the lips of my love for the last time, Tomás died in my arms while I tried to understand why this was happening to him, Tomás didn't deserve to die! He was a good and honest man, willing to do anything to serve the Mafia, so much so that he ended up dying because of it. When my mother-in-law and Luana saw Tomás dead they went into despair, all I could think about was my little daughter and what we had lost, while I heard their cries and screams I went in the direction of my house looking at every corner of that place that reminded me so much of my love, this is our home, the place we chose to live and be happy but now without my Tomás nothing made sense.
I went to my little girl's room realizing that she was awake, I'm not sure if she heard the noise or just woke up like every night like every baby her age but now it doesn't matter.
- Come here to mommy, my love!
I took her in my arms looking at the portrait of our family, feeling a huge emptiness in my chest for knowing that now it's just me and my little girl. Life wasn't fair to me because even the man I loved was taken away from me without me being able to do anything about it, I knew I couldn't change what Thomas was created to be but I wanted him by my side so badly.
- Melina, my little one it's just you and me now!
- Papa?
At that moment I began to cry with my little girl on my lap, maybe in some way she also felt that something had happened to her father, because her little eyes filled with silent tears like mine. My love is dead!