"Kanina ka pa tahimik."
I glared at Xanthos and punched him lightly on his arm. He just chuckled and hugged me closer to him.
"Paano ako hindi matatahimik? Binigla mo 'ko! Y-You just said you love me too," I murmured the last part.
Xanthos held my hand and slowly intertwined our fingers. He stared at me as if his world revolves around me. Every time he looks at me like that, it feels like I'm the most beautiful woman in his eyes. His eyes and stare alone boost my confidence. He always makes me feel beautiful and worth it.
"You don't know how shocked I was when you told me that you love me... and the fact that you confessed smoothly, with confidence. Damn, how can you do that?" He sighed and put my hand on his chest. "Can you feel how nervous I am right now? My hands are still sweating. I'm nervous as fuck," he mumbled and let out a heavy sigh.
I laughed when I felt his fast heartbeat. He's really nervous his hands are still shaking until now. I didn't expect him to react like this. He looked confident when he confessed earlier... He's 34 now but he's still cute. Xanthos is really driving me crazy.
"Hindi ka naman mukhang kinakabahan kanina, e," natatawang sabi ko na lang saka yumakap sa baywang n'ya.
"Of course, I want to look cool on that moment," he murmured.
I laughed again and pinched his cheeks. "You're so cute, Xanthos."
His eyes narrowed. "What? I'm cute? I hope you can still say that later... on our bed," he said seductively and gave my cheek a soft kiss.
"Bring it on." I chuckled.
Tumuloy na kami sa paglalakad. Sa mga oras na 'to, ito ang pakiramdam na ayaw kong matapos. Hindi ko pa naramdaman ang ganitong pakiramdam sa iba. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng ginawa ni Xanthos sa sistema ko... pero gusto ko ang pakiramdam na 'to.
"Are you my boyfriend now?" I asked and hugged Xanthos' arm.
"Hmm, it's up to you... Sinasagot mo na ba ako?" tanong n'ya saka tumitig sa 'kin.
Natawa ako. "Hindi ka naman nanliligaw."
"I honestly don't know how courtship works. Do I need to chop woods or something?" he asked. He doesn't seem sarcastic. It looks like he's really curious about courtship.
"Well, not really. There's no rules in courting anyway. Courting someone means you're doing your best to make yourself worthy of that person's love. It's a way of showing your feelings to someone. It's like saying to someone that you love her, but instead of saying it, you're showing it with your actions. Just like that," I explained.
Natahimik naman si Xanthos habang nakatitig sa 'kin. Napakurap na lang ako at nilabanan ang titig n'ya. Bakit ganyan siya makatingin sa 'kin?
"That sounds good. You deserve to be courted so... I'll court you first," he said and kissed my hand.
I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from smiling. Damn this man. Where did he learn those cheesy lines? I found those corny before and now here I am... smiling like an idiot because someone told me those 'cheesy' lines.
Hinubad ni Xanthos ang blazer n'ya at pinasuot sa 'kin bago kami tumuloy sa paglalakad.
"Kiara, your Mom invited me to her birthday party tomorrow."
Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Xanthos. Oo nga pala, birthday ni Mom bukas. Bakit hindi n'ya man lang ako tine-text para imbitahan ako? Nagtatampo ba siya dahil hindi ko siya nabibisita o nakakamusta?
"Do you want to come?" I asked.
"I'll only attend if you'll be there," he said and held my hand again.
"Siguro nga dapat akong pumunta. Baka nagtatampo na si Mom sa 'kin." Napabuntonghininga ako.
"Pupunta rin ako," sabi na lang n'ya.
"But we can't go there together. Hindi pa alam ni Mom ang tungkol sa 'tin. Mag-iipon pa 'ko ng lakas ng loob. Okay lang ba?" tanong ko saka tumingin sa kanya.
"It's okay, I will always respect your decision. I know it won't be easy for us anyway. I'm sorry," he mumbled and caressed my cheek gently.
My eyes narrowed. "You should be. How dare you seduce my mother?"
"Hey, I didn't seduce her. Our relationship is clear from the start. I never thought she'll like me for real. But still, I'm responsible for it. So I'll deal with it."
Napangiti na lang ako at tumango sa sinabi n'ya. "My man is responsible, I'll give you one point."
Xanthos let out a sexy laugh. He held my waits and pulled me closer to him.
"What have you done to me, Kiara Amaris?" he asked in a low tone.
"I should be the one asking that. What have you done to me, Xanthos Archante?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.
Xanthos hugged me and kissed my temple. I just closed my eyes and hugged him back. His warm embrace is the most comfortable feeling that I've felt. It feels like I truly belong in his arms, it feels like this is where I should be.
* * *
"Can't we just go there togeher?" Xanthos asked while hugging my waist.
"It will be suspicious," I said and took the car key from him.
"We can just tell her that I happen to saw you and--" agad kong pinutol ang sasabihin n'ya.
"H'wag kang makulit. Iisang lugar lang naman ang pupuntahan natin, e," natatawang sabi ko saka dinampian ng halik ang labi n'ya.
Xanthos sighed and hugged me tighter. "Fine."
Agad na akong kumalas sa pagkakayakap n'ya at nagtungo sa isang kotse. I don't have my car with me so I just borrowed one of his cars.
Agad ko ng pinaandar ang kotse pagkasakay ko dahil baka bigla na namang bumuntot si Xanthos. Habang tumatagal, nakikita ko ang makulit na side n'ya.
Saglit na napatingin ako sa paper bag na nasa shotgun seat. Bumili ako ng kwintas na ireregalo ko kay Mom. Mukhang nagtatampo talaga siya kaya plano kong lambingin siya mamaya kapag nakita ko siya.
Nakarating din agad ako sa hotel na paggaganapan ng birthday ni Mom. Bumaba ako ng kotse bitbit ang paper bag saka inayos ang buhok ko... I hope I don't stand out too much. I'm wearing a silver long gown and I realized that it's too attention-grabbing... Well, whatever.
Hindi ko na hinintay si Xanthos at nauna na 'kong dumiretso sa hotel. Alam ko na naman kung saan gaganapin 'yon. Dito sa Spade Hotel nagce-celebrate si Mom ng birthday n'ya every year. Siya ang may ari ng hotel na 'to, napag-usapan pa namin noon na itong hotel ang plano ni Mom na iregalo sa 25th birthday ko.
Nakarating na 'ko sa venue ng party, sa garden ng hotel. Buti na lang at alam ng guard na anak ako ni Mom at pinapasok ako kahit wala akong invitation card. Marami-rami ring bisita si Mom. Mukhang kilala rin ang ang mga bisita n'ya sa business world.
"Where's Mom?" I mumbled while roaming my eyes around the place.
"Hoy, Kiara!"
Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa 'kin. Napangiti na lang ako nang makitang si Abi 'yon. Nasabi n'ya nga pala sa 'kin kanina na pupunta siya sa birthday ni Mom.
"Abi, I missed you!" I hugged her.
"Hindi kita na-miss, slight lang," sabi na lang n'ya saka gumanti ng yakap sa 'kin.
"By the way, nakita mo ba si Mom?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Ah, Tita Akira's over there. May kausap siyang bisita," sabi ni Abi saka itinuro kung nasaan si Mom.
"Thank you, bitch. I'll just talk to her and give my gift for her... gonna talk to you later," I said and tapped her shoulder before I left.
Pinuntahan ko si Mom. Halos matulala ako nang makita siya. I'm her daughter but my Mom's beauty never fails to amaze me every time I see her. She's more beautiful right now with her gold long gown. My Mom is the most beautiful woman in my eyes. I won't even blame Xanthos if he'll admit that he found my Mom attractive, because she really is. She looks like an angel that most people thought she's just my sister and not my mother.
Huminga ako nang malalim bago tuluyang naglakad palapit kay Mom. Buti na lang at wala na siyang kausap.
"Mom."
Natigilan si Mom nang mapatingin sa akin. I just gave her a small smile and scratched my nape.
"Hello, Mom. Happy birthday," I said and gave her my gift.
"Akala ko nakalimutan mo ng may nanay ka," nakapamaywang na sabi ni Mom na tila nanenermon.
I pouted and gave her a hug. "Sorry po, Mom. Busy lang po talaga," I mumbled the last part.
I can't tell her I'm busy flirting with Xanthos... But that's not the only reason why I'm busy though.
Mom's eyes narrowed. "Do you have a boyfriend already?" she asked in a teasing voice.
Napakurap ako sa tanong ni Mom. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko at umiling.
"I don't have a boyfriend, Mom."
Xanthos is not my boyfriend yet so... I think that's the right answer.
"I told you to settle on a serious relationship. Stop fooling around with men you just met at some place," Mom said while shaking her head.
Natigilan si Mom nang mapatingin sa likuran ko. Agad siyang napangiti.
"Xanthos, you came."
Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko nang lumapit si Mom kay Xanthos. Pasimple akong tumingin kay Xanthos na nakatingin sa 'kin ngayon. Tiningnan ko naman siya ng masama.
"Happy birthday, Akira. By the way, I forgot to buy you a gift," Xanthos said coldly.
I let out a heavy sigh. I told him to buy gift earlier but he doesn't want to. Tinatamad daw siya.
"Oh, it's okay. Ang mahalaga nagpunta ka rito," nakangiting sabi ni Mom.
Napabuntonghininga na lang ako habang nakatingin sa kanila. It seems like Mom really like Xanthos. Paano pa ako magkakalakas ng loob na sabihin ang tungkol sa'min ni Xanthos? Ayokong saktan si Mom pero ayoko namang magsinungaling pa sa kanya.
"Hmm, wala ka na bang sasabihin? Birthday message for me or something like that?" Mom asked.
"Well, I wish you won't die early," Xanthos said.
Mom laughed. "You and your weird remarks," Mom said while shaking her head.
They seem closer than I think.
I cleared my throat. "Mom, I'm here," I said, trying to stop myself from rolling my eyes.
Hindi ko na sila kayang tingnan nang matagal. I hate the fact that they look good together.
"Oh, sorry, sweetie. By the way, since you said you don't have a boyfriend yet, I'll introduce to a handsome bachelor," Mom said and held my hand.
Hindi nakawala sa paningin ko ang pagkunot ng noo ni Xanthos na para bang hindi n'ya nagustuhan ang narinig n'ya. Nakaramdam ako nang kaunting kaba.
Sana makapagtimpi siya.
"Ahm, Mom, you don't have to. I don't need..."
Hindi nakinig si Mom at hinila ako palapit sa isang table.
"Hello, Mr. Farthon."
Pinaupo ako ni Mom sa upuan na katabi ng lalaking tinawag n'ya na Mr. Farthon. Napakurap na lang ako nang mapatingin sa akin ang lalaki.
"Mr. Farthon, this is my daughter, Kiara North. Kiara, dear, this is Mr. Ice Prince Farthon, the current chairman of Farthon Group," Mom said and tapped my shoulder.
Napalunok na lang ako nang bigla kaming iwan ni Mom.
I looked at Ice Prince Farthon. I heard his name a lot of times and this is the first time I saw him in person. Rumors didn't do him justice. He's way handsome than I heard... and he's also looks colder than I heard.
He's really handsome that I couldn't take my eyes off him. His blue eyes are the coldest eyes I've seen. He looked at me with no hint of emotion in his eyes as if my existence didn't matter to him.
"I'm not interested in you and I'm already married," he said in a cold tone that I almost hugged myself and shivered.
I smiled awkwardly and nodded. I heard rumors that he got married but no one really believes it since it wasn't broadcast or whatever. Mukhang may asawa na nga talaga siya.
"Ahm, sorry about my Mom, Mr. Farthon. She thought you're still a bachelor," I said and smiled at him.
"Okay," sabi na lang n'ya saka tumayo at umalis.
Napakurap na lang ako at hinabol siya ng tingin. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ako o maiinis sa ginawa n'ya.
Paano nagkaroon ng asawa ang gano'ng lalaki? Presensya pa lang n'ya, nakakakaba na.
"Damn, what a handsome weirdo," I mumbled and shook my head.
Natigilan ako nang maramdaman kong sunod-sunod na nag-vibrate ang phone ko. Agad kong kinuha 'yon mula sa sling bag ko para tingnan kung sino ang nag-text.
Xanthos:
Where are you?
This is so frustrating.
Who are you with right now?
Damn, Kiara. We should just tell Akira about us. As in right now.
I bit my lower lip while reading Xanthos' messages. Damn this man. I can imagine what he looks like right now.
Agad akong nag-reply sa kanya.
There's a swing at the corner part of this garden. Let's meet there... it's also dark there, if you know what I mean.
I smiled at my own message. Mukhang kailangan ko siyang lambingin.
Nagtungo na ako sa pagkikitaan namin. Medyo sulok na parte na ng garden 'yon at wala talagang tao. Tago rin ang pwestong 'yon sa mga tao.
I sat on the swing while waiting for Xanthos. Maybe he's having a hard time looking for this place.
I smiled when I saw Xanthos walking to my direction but my smile vanished when I saw his face. He looks pissed and annoyed.
Uh-oh.
"Bakit mukhang kang pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa?" natatawang tanong ko.
"Who's the handsome bachelor you just met? I'll ruin his life," Xanthos said while gritting his teeth.
I chuckled. "You can't do that. He's a powerful man too... besides, he's not interested in me and he's already married."
Napaismid na lang si Xanthos sa sinabi ko. Mas lalo akong natawa. Agad naman akong tumayo saka yumakap sa kanya.
"He's handsome but you're the most handsome in my eyes." I kissed his chin. "I love you."
I smiled when his expression softened. He let out a heavy sigh and hugged me back.
"I love you too," he muttered and kissed me.
He held both of my cheeks as he deepened our kiss. I responded to his lingering kiss and hugged his nape.
"Are you still mad?" I asked in between our kisses.
Napabuntonghininga si Xanthos saka pinagdikit ang noo naming dalawa.
"I can't be mad at you, you know that." He smiled at me.
"Now that you're not mad anymore, we should go back to the party. I need to talk to my friend. Uuwi na rin tayo maya-maya... I'll go ahead," I said and gave him a soft kiss on his lips.
He sighed and nodded.
Binitiwan ko na ang kamay n'ya at akmang aalis na nang makita ko si Mom na nakatayo mula sa di kalayuan at tila hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa 'min.
Agad na nanlamig ang buong katawan ko.
"W-What's the meaning of this, Kiara?" Mom asked. Her voice is shaking.
"M-Mom..." I don't know what to say right now.
Xanthos held my hand and intertwined our fingers.
"There's no point in denying it now, Kiara," he muttered. "I'll be by your side. Don't be scared."
His words didn't ease the nervousness I feel right now... but it did help a bit and I appreciate it. Sadyang nangunguna lang ang kaba sa puso ko ngayon.
"Xanthos, I want to talk to Kiara alone. Please leave us alone," Mom said in a cold tone while looking at me.
Xanthos didn't listen to her and just held my hand. I sighed and looked at him. I gave him a reassuring smile.
"It's fine, Xanthos. She's still my Mom, please respect her," I mumbled.
Xanthos sighed and nodded. "Okay. Text or call me if anything happens. I'll be here right away." He caressed my cheek.
Kahit labag sa loob ni Xanthos, napilitan siyang umalis at iwan kami ni Mom. Mas lalong bumigat ang pakiramdam ko nang umalis si Xanthos.
Kinakabahang napatingin ako kay Mom na walang emosyon na nakatingin sa 'kin. I don't know what she's thinking right now and that's what scares me the most.
"You're really a bitch... just like your mother."
Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Mom. Pakiramdam ko tila binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig... What does she mean by that?
"You ungrateful brat. I took care of you and treated you like my own daughter even though I don't want it and this is what I get in return? You're really cheap just like your real mother," Mom said and shooked her head in disappointment.
"M-Mom, what are you saying? I don't get you at all. Please explain it to me so I can understand," I said. My lips are trembling, my hands are sweaty, and my knees are shaking.
"Xanthos is the only one I want after suffering for years from you and your asshole father. You don't know how hard it is for me to take care of a cheap maid's daughter for years. You took my freedom from me, and now Xanthos? You're a bitch indeed. I'm not surprised, your Paula's daughter after all."
Naninikip ang dibdib ko habang pinapakinggan ang mga sinasabi ni Mom. Ayaw magproseso sa isip ko ng mga salitang binitiwan n'ya... o baka ayaw lang tanggapin ng sistema ko ang sinasabi n'ya.
"Y-You're not my mother?" I asked. My vision became blurry because of tears pooling in my eyes.
Lumapit siya sa 'kin. She held my jaw tightly and made me face her.
"Look at me, Kiara. Hindi ka ba nagtataka? Wala ni isa ang nagsabi na magkamukha tayong dalawa." Mom grinned. "You don't know how I suffered all these years, Kiara. Hindi mo alam kung gaano kita gustong itulak palayo sa tuwing nakikita ko ang pagmumukha mo noon pa man. Naiinis ako na kinailangan kitang alagaan at ituring na anak kahit ayaw ko," mariing sabi n'ya saka binitawan ako.
"M-Mom, I'm sorry for what I did. Y-You don't have to go this far just because you're mad at me. Stop lying, p-please."
I can't even talk properly right now because of my tightening chest. Even breathing feels painful. I know her words can't be true. I'm her daughter... she's my Mom.
"Why don't you ask your father about Paula Carino? She's our maid 24 years ago. Look for her and you'll see how you resemble that bitch... She's your real mother after all."
Mom left me hanging here after saying those devastating words. My tears are flowing uncontrollably from my eyes. I can feel that my makeup is completely ruined right now but I couldn't care less. My chest feels heavy, it's so painful that I can't even breathe properly.
I punched my chest and tried to calm myself but it didn't help. My whole body is shaking and I couldn't control my loud cries anymore. My chest feels heavy, it's so hard to breathe. I feel like dying.
No, that can't be true. Mom is just mad at me that's why she said that. She's my only mother, she's my Mom and no one else. She's lying. She's just lying to me.
Naiyak pa rin na lumabas na ako ng hotel. Nanghihinang napaupo ako sa tabing kalsada at napatakip sa mukha ko. Hindi ko na napigilang mapahagulgol ng iyak.
I can feel some people looking at me right now but I don't care about it anymore. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to believe... I just want this nightmare to end.
"Kiara."
Natigilan ako nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses na 'yon. Napatingala ako at napatingin kay Xanthos na nakatitig sa 'kin ngayon.
"X-Xanthos," naluluhang sabi ko.
Xanthos sat in front of me and wiped my tears. Hinubad n'ya rin ang blazer n'ya at pinasuot iyon sa 'kin.
"M-Mom said that I'm not her daughter... she said I'm someone else's daughter. H-How could she say that just because she's mad? I'm so mad at her too!"
Xanthos nodded while staring at me. "You should be."
Napayakap ako sa sarili ko habang patuloy na umiiyak. Sobrang nakakasama ng loob. Alam kong mali ang ginawa ko kay Mom pero bakit umabot sa punto na kailangan n'yang magsinungaling nang gano'n?
Siya lang ang nanay ko, walang iba. Nagsisinungaling lang siya.
"Gusto mo bang lumayo muna tayo sa lahat?"
Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Xanthos saka napatingin sa kanya.
"W-What do you mean?" I asked.
Xanthos caressed my cheek gently.
"Your mother was just mad that's why she said ridiculous things. You should unwind first. We'll talk to her again once she cooled down. Let's stay away from everything for the meantime. How about that?" He held my hand and gently kissed it.
I bit my lower lip and nodded. That's not a bad idea... everything is too much for me to take anyway.